Sleeping Death
by animanga-lover
Summary: Light's memories are erased because the notebook is in ashes. L helps Light adapt to his new life as he tries to over come his feelings. But what about Light's past memories? Yaoi LxLight.
1. Chapter 1

I DO NOT OWN DEATH NOTE!

Light laid on the floor with his hands behind his back. The cold metal around his wrists made his skin tremble. Light finally filled the dark, empty room. A familiar figure with dark, messy hair stood in the doorway.

"Are you planning on behaving, Light?" L said in his usual monotone.

Light buried his face in the white carpet. His expression was masked by his auburn hair. "Yes…"

L walked over to Light removing the hand cuffs. "I had hoped we'd try going out again today… Would you like that?"

Light slowly rose to his feet. "Can we?" His brown eyes sparkled with the slightest glimmer of hope.

"Of course," L replied leading Light into the kitchen. "Now, show me what you've learned."

Light had recently been studying human emotions and actions and what they meant. He'd begged L to let him for some reason, and L couldn't say no. L had thought he'd progressed quite well in studying the actions and would take him out to practice.

After the Death Note issue Light changed drastically. The blood lust inside him awakened and he became incredibly violent. He'd completely forgotten Light Yagami and given over to the will of Kira. After Light was imprisoned L thought about his position of owning Light's Death Note.

If he relinquished ownership of the thick, black notebook, then Light would lose his memories of ever being Kira. L considered that possibility, but thought that if returned the note to Ryuk Light would be killed. L studied all possibility of the notebook and finally decided to burn it. If he burned the note no one would be tormented by it ever again and Light would be free.

Directly after burning the notebook Light forgot everything. The name Light Yagami didn't exist anymore. He'd died along with Kira. L took it upon himself to help his friend. He couldn't stand the thought of Light in a jail cell. With the NPA's permission mass murderer, Kira, was allowed release if accompanied by Detective L. I then took him with me to my house in Winchester, England.

Light had forgotten all of his past, which was good in L's eyes. He didn't have to deal with the guilt of being Kira only an average teenager that encountered some memory loss from a car accident killing off his family. L told Light that they were best friends and were inseparable, which wasn't too far from the truth. The only time L has to worry is by mid-afternoon.

Light has short "episodes" where he flails and writhes for no apparent reason. L believes this is Kira trying to redevelop himself. L knows this is not possible because Light doesn't remember even at that moment.

However, it does scare L. Light goes out of control no matter where they are. Light's become emotionally unstable during these days with L. Light's personality has changed due to his lack of identity. He's like a little kid trying to understand right from wrong.

"Very well, Light," L encouraged as Light demonstrated the meaning of a smile, his most skilled action. "Where shall we be heading out to today?" L said brushing off his baggy blue jeans.

Light thought for a moment. "… May we go to the park?" Light didn't know many of the areas around him, but places he did know about he learned from the videos provided by L.

"We may," L said handing Light his jacket from the closet.

"Please don't make me wear that." Light had on black slacks and a silk, white, collared shirt. He eyed the white, baggy jacket with displeasure.

"Fine," L said placing the jacket back into the closet. "I'm just looking after you."

"Please Ryuzaki, you're not wearing a coat," Light eyed L's baggy, white shirt.

"It has sleeves," L said humorously motioning to the long sleeves that came down to his wrists.

Light looked displeased as they walked out the door.

"Do you want to drive or walk?" L said.

"… Walk," Light said not bothering to make eye contact.

The started to walk along the side walk in the direction of the park. "I think you chose a really good day to go to the park. It's hardly as cold as it's been." L watched Light's expression remain the same. "Hey Light, I'll try not to be so protective. I just don't want anything bad to happen to you again." L squeezed Light's hand, "You wanna go get some ice cream after our walk?"

Light tried to look angry even though his child-like eyes began to sparkle, "Can we?" Light always said 'can we?' now it really meant, 'that's not too much trouble is it?"

It always made L grin inside himself. He didn't know what to make of this new modest Light. "Of course," He'd always replied even after the first time he asked him a question about Light's wants.

_Flashback_

L stared at the now conscious Light. His chocolate brown eyes stared innocently at the dark, tired eyes of L. "Who are you?"

L looked curiously at his friend. "Light, are you alright?"

Light's eyes gazed wildly at the unknown spectator. "What did you call me?"

L's eyes got wider than their current state. _Is this because I burned the Death Note? It must be since it's directly after I did it… _"Light. That's your name, Light Yagami. I'm Ryuzaki, your friend."

"Ryuzaki…" Light tried out the name on his tongue. "Why am I here?"

L thought for a moment. "… You and your family were out for a drive and a car ran a stop sign. He slammed right into you. You suffered with some head injuries, but your family didn't make it."

"What?" L had never seen Light look so vulnerable and scared in his entire life. Suddenly, Light groaned gripping his head. He grit his teeth trying to bare the sharp pain that wouldn't leave him.

"What's wrong, Light?" L said placing a frantic hand on his shoulder.

"My head… it hurts," Light groaned again. L reached for the nurse's button, "No! They'll only put me on more meds." Light buried his head in L's chest. "Just stay here for a moment… please." Light gripped L's shirt feeling like his head was going to explode. L wrapped his arms around Light stroking his head in order to get him to calm down.

After a few minutes Light's breathing returned to normal as he looked up at L. "I'm sorry, did I scare you?"

_What's going on this isn't like Light at all._ L removed his arms from Light. "I'm fine. Are you worried about something?"

Light looked down. "It's only starting to form… I feel that the longer I talk to you the less I'll want you to leave. You are my only key to my past, right? If my family is dead…"

L studied the deep thought and terror over Light's face. "Well then, do you want to come stay with me?"

Light studied L's face. "…Can I?"

L was taken off guard by this question. He saw the hopeful, bright eyes. "Of course…"

_End Flashback_

L was excited to see Light's reaction towards animals. He was leading Light to a duck pond where most people went out with their friends and families. It was considered a park since less could be found in the area.

Light's eyes widened with a childlike wonder when he scanned the high winding hills. The multicolored leaves on the trees started to fall. There were few people here, but there'd be more as the sun set. However, L was a little apprehensive about being here this late since lover's usually appeared at this hour.

"Ryuzaki, what are those?" Light tugged at L's arm. He was referring to the creatures covered in feathers that lacked appendages and had strand webbed feet. Even their mouths jutted out with a hard shell covering them. About six of the strange creatures played in the water.

"Those are ducks. Have you seen any of those on your videos?"

Light shook his head. "How strange..." Light turned his attention to the people scanning them for their reactions towards the strange creatures. Some families fed the creatures bread laughing as they watched them eat. Others ran off because one of their children were frightened. Still Light savored every moment of it.

Light thought the only strange thing was a man and woman. They were standing unusually close at the top of the hill away from all the families. The woman had her arms wrapped around the man's neck and the man's arms wrapped around the woman's waist. Light saw them brush their lips together smiling blissfully.

L followed Light's gaze with a worried expression crossing his face. L had no idea how Light would react to physical and emotional attractions considering his mental condition. He didn't see a woman being able to put up with his constant headaches and defiant rants.

"What are they doing, Ryuzaki?" Light asked breaking off L's thoughts.

L sighed before replying, "They're kissing."

"Kissing?"

"It's a physical attraction people feel towards someone they love."

"Love?" Light was deeply intrigued by the words. "You mean like how you love Watari?"

"Kind of... This kind of love is the type where you care about one particular person more than anyone else in the world. They make each other happy."

Light stared deeply into L's eyes hoping to catch some form of emotion. Light smiled at L, "So you love me, Ryuzaki?"

L was startled by the sudden question. "What brought this on?"

"Well, you do everything for me. And you somehow manage to put up with it every day." Light paused for a moment. "...Are you _happy_ when you're with me?"

"...I suppose I am." L quickly started walking up the hill thinking of a way to change the subject. "Hey, let's go get that ice cream," L continued to walk not making an effort to turn around.

L felt a hand grip his wrist turning him around. He felt soft lips brush against his. L looked at the smiling face of Light. "I love you, too."

L felt some hostile stares on them. L sighed knowing Light couldn't help but feel a child-like curiosity on the whole situation. "Light, you can't do things like that."

Light's forehead creased meaning he was thinking about L's words. "Why not? We love each other don't we?"

"Umm... There are many types of love, Light. We have a friendship love, therefore we don't kiss."

"Oh..." Light thought for a little longer before taking L's hand and walking up the hill with him. "Human emotions are so weird."

"Yeah..."

"But it intrigues me how everyone reacts to something differently. Why is that?"

"Everyone acts in their own way. They do what makes them who they are. Individuality."

"Strange," Light said running the new word through his mind. "Look there's the ice cream store!"

L barely noticed them approaching the nearby shop. They'd usually pass the time with Light's questions. They'd usually have some interesting conversations on their own opinion on emotions and just humans in general .

L and Light walked into the colorful shop. Multi-colors were slashed on the walls as they approached a young teenager. She smiled politely at the two of them. "How may I serve you?"

"Two scoops of chocolate for me," L said. "Do you know what you want, Light?"

"I'll have the same," Light said staring at the thick flavors of ice cream in the bar in front of them.

L handed Light his cone of ice cream. Light licked up the ice cream as L paid the teenager. They both walked out finding a new subject to talk about.

"I still don't understand that phrase, 'How may I serve you?'. Do they actually serve you or are they just saying that so you'll tip them?"

L never lost amusement in Light's questions, no matter how stupid they were. "Well, they do _serve _you the food you want and try to satisfy the person paying them."

"Well that's the thing. Aren't you just paying them to smile and stand there?"

"You can't keep someone here against their will."

Light finished off the first scoop of ice cream while L was already biting down into the cone. Light thought the milky flavor was strange. It was sweet and creamy, but he could taste something else in it. Was it salt? It balanced out the sweetness with the bitter.

L was licking his fingers when Light stopped studying the flavor. He motioned his cone in L's direction. "Here," Light said.

L happily took the cone from Light's hand biting into it. "You don't like it?"

"That's not it at all. I just figured you wanted it more."

"Light is very considerate," L stared wide eyed at the cone.

"No, just observant…" Light's eyes stared at the bushes at the gate of the manor where he and his friend resided. Did they just move? Light saw orange beneath the green leaves. Light's curiosity enticed him to see what the creature was. Light pulled his hand back when he felt something sharp slice his finger. He saw the red liquid spilling from his tan skin.

"Light," L turned and saw his friend staring from his finger then to the bushes then back to his finger. L saw the blood and looked on Light's pointer finger. "The thorns are very sharp wouldn't you agree?" L took s lick of his ice cream.

Light dipped his pinky in the soft cream. He extended his arm to the bush. A small pink tongue licked his finger. Light stared calculating the appearance of the small furry creature.

It was about the size of Light's hand. It had long, caramel brown hair and eyes. Its nose was small and pink and covered with little white hairs that were longer than any other hairs on its face. It had big, pointed ears that sat on the top of its head. The creature crawled on its four legs into light's hand licking his cut clean and wrapping its tail around his fingers.

"A cat," L said scratching the ball of fur in light's arms. He thought the cat looked like Light. Their hair and eye color were identical. "Wonder how long he's been out here? Not very, I think…"

Light brought the cat closer to his gaze taking in his features. The cat nudged Light's chin with his paw not retracting the claws. Light giggled as the soft paw touched his cheek. "He's cute."

L stared at Light's smiling face. He loved it when Light smiled like that. "Do you… want to take him home?"

Light's eyes looked deep into L's. "Can we?"

L's eyes lowered sadly. "Of course…"

L was always intrigued by this new Light. He was modest, timid, and curious… like a child. As they walked up to the door of L's house L thought about Light's former self. The Light he knew was strong, independent, and vengeful… maybe from all the lying he'd done to manipulate the people in his life. He couldn't understand why the Light he knows now is so different. Was it because his walls were broken down? For once in L's knowledge of Light, he was vulnerable…

"Ryuzaki, you think he's hungry?" Light played with the kitten's ears.

"I'll call Watari about bringing him some… Have you thought of a name for him?"

Light thought for a moment. A name appeared in his mind that felt familiar as he looked in the kittens bright, brown eyes. "How about Kira?"

L froze trying to see a change in Light's composure. Light absentmindedly fondled the cat's tail. "I think the name suits him," L said glad to see Light acting normal.

L opened the door as Light stepped in with Kira. Light walked upstairs to the room where L's computer resided. The second door to the right, Light had memorized. He stepped in laying down on the soft, brown couch. He played with Kira on his chest.

L entered the room afterwards and headed towards the desk that was a few feet in front of Light. L sat at the desk hugging his legs close to his chest. He flicked on the computer monitor and began typing.

After the Kira case there were hardly any criminals willing to do anything. L was currently not assigned to any case from the lack of criminal development. This made L's life easier because he knew Light would be harder to take care of if he had to work.

L half expected them to resume their series of questions. He knew today would be different because of the new addition to the family. L e-mailed Watari about the cat.

Light scratched behind Kira's ears. He heard a small rumbling coming from his throat that he soon recognized as pleasure. The kitten curled up on Light's chest closing his eyes. Light continued to stroke his back as the cat fell asleep.

"Ryuzaki, have I changed?" Light asked keeping his attention on the sleeping cat.

This was a usual question of Light. L knew that, but he was still surprised by it. He hated answering that question. "Yes…" L's eyes remained on the screen.

"Hmm…" Light ran the reply through his mind. "Do you think I'll ever be my old self again?"

This was a new question. L hadn't considered that Light was trying to regain his memories, or at least be more like Light Yagami. "I suppose so," L never answered a question he was unsure of with a direct reply.

Light's eyes lowered. "Ryuzaki, what was my family like?"

L hated it when Light asked questions randomly. He definitely wasn't expecting his family to occur in a sentence. "What's causing these questions, Light?"

"I'm sorry. I know haven't asked any questions about my family since I started living with you, but today… today I saw all those families. I wonder if we shared the same warmth."

L sighed opening a drawer pulling out some files. He pulled a photo out of one of the manila folders. He handed Light the photo.

A tall man with dark hair that was starting to gray was wrapping one of his muscular arms around a woman with dark brown hair. The woman had one arm wrapped around the man and another around a young boy with auburn hair, who was being hugged happily by a girl with her dark brown hair tied up. The people all smiled peacefully.

"They were good people," L said looking at the intense gaze Light gave off as he stared at the photo.

"The man there was your father, Soichiro Yagami." L pointed at the eldest man in the photo. "He had a strong sense of justice and devotion to his family. You were influenced by him a lot.

"This woman," L pointed to the woman beside Light's father, "was your mother, Sachiko Yagami. She was a very loving person. She cared about you and your sister." L used the evidence he'd gotten while the Yagami household was under surveillance to gather the assumption of Light's Mother and Sister since he'd never met them.

Light already knew himself in the photo as his gaze traveled to the small girl embracing him. "That's Sayu Yagami, your little sister. She was a ball of energy, always bright..."

Light scanned the picture for a few more minutes before handing it back to L. "Thank you, Ryuzaki." Light rose off the couch cuddling Kira close so he wouldn't wake him. He placed the cat on the couch.

L returned to his computer screen. "I'll be a while, you think you can manage?"

"Yes..." Light muttered leaving the room. He walked to the room three doors down to the left. He entered seeing the room they shared.

There was a bookshelf in the corner to the left of the door and their king sized bed just parallel to it. The silk sheets were made up neat and tidy. There was a nightstand beside the side L usually slept on (The side closest to the door). The window had stacks of books under it where Light would sit and read at night by the moon light.

Light had sensed that Ryuzaki was feeling uneasy when he asked him questions about physical attractions, so he decided to take matters into his own hands. He closed the door before walking over to the book shelf and pulling out a dictionary.

Light took his seat and opened the think book. He turned to the first word that he'd remembered hearing today:

**"Kiss: **1. To touch or caress with the lips in expression of affection, greeting, respect, or... amorousness?" Light looked curiously at the last word.

He turned the pages. "**Amorousness: **1. Strongly attracted or disposed to love, especially sexual love..." Light didn't understand the term "sexual love". He read on, "2. Indicative of love or sexual desire?" Light sighed turning the pages.

Sexual came up as "see 'sex'" making Light aggravated at the knowledge intake.

"**Sex: **" Light scanned the letters with a strange fascination, " the instinct or attraction drawing one sex toward another, or its manifestation in life and conduct." Light still wasn't sure he understood what the strange word meant, but he could understand it was directed towards the one organ that made him male.

Light remembered the other new word he'd learned at the park. His eyes flashed back towards the book flipping through more pages. "**Love: **1. A deep, tender feeling of affection and solicitude towards a preson, such as that arising from kinship. 2) A feeling of intense desire and attraction toward a person with whom one is ... disposed to make a pair; the emotion of sex and romance."

He felt the terms "sex" and "desire" were the two reoccurring themes in this quest. Light felt like he had a better understanding of love, and after looking up more words that fed his interest he understood what sex was.

Light placed the dictionary on top of his stack of books by the window. Light didn't bother with his usual routine of showering and brushing his teeth. He took off his shirt and belt then settled under his covers.

Was that what he felt? Every time he saw the detective his heart skipped a beat. He wondered if Ryuzaki felt the same way? Light was always nervous as he tried to continually please his friend with his ability to learn the emotions in a human.

Light felt his heart race as the thought of Ryuzaki filled his mind. He thought this was how all humans felt on an average day, but really it meant something more...

Light's thoughts raced around in his head. _What should I do? If I feel this way shouldn't I tell Ryuzaki? I mean, we do live together and all, but I don't want him to hate me..._

L walked in the room noticing the mounds on the bed. L had been sleeping with Light since he started staying with him because Light requested it of him. L felt teased being that close to Light's perfect body.

L sat in his normal position on the bed. He pulled his knees into his chest.

Light turned to stare at his friend in the darkness. "Ryuzaki, would you hold me? I'm kind of cold tonight..."

L sank beneath the covers pulling Light into his chest. He'd done this every time Light asked. L's arms wrapped around Light's shoulders as Light's arms wrapped themselves around L's waist. L felt himself getting hard just from the sensation of looking at Light. Now he had to deal with their bodies pressed against each other and Light's hot breath against his neck! Just the thought made L shiver.

Light looked up at the raven hair unintentionally running his fingers through it. Light licked L's neck before placing a kiss on the apple of his slender neck.

A surprise gasp escaped L's lips. He pushed Light away glaring intently at him. "What are you doing?" L kept the same monotone voice, but he was affected by Light's kiss.

"You actually reacted this time? You didn't seem to mind at the park..." Light curiously watched L's reaction.

"Idiot, you didn't know what you were doing in the park. I told you not to do that."

Light couldn't understand why, but a strange feeling overwhelmed him. He felt a weight fall on his chest as his throat tightened. "So what? You're made because I love you? I don't understand I thought you were supposed to be happy when something like this happens."

L's gaze softened. He couldn't help but wrap his arms around Light. "I'm sorry for frustrating you. I... love you too, but we can't do thinks like that alright?"

"Why not?" Light muttered his head buried in L's chest.

L thought for a moment. "...Because we're both males. Kissing is meant to be done between males and females."

"...So does the same rule go for sex?"

L's eyes widened. "How do you know about sex, Light?" Light pointed to his stack of books. L eyed the dictionary on top of the stack. He sighed, "Light, it's complicated..."

"I know it is," Light said snuggling closer to L, "but why? I don't understand..."

L stroked Light's hair something held L back. What? "I know, Light. I- I can be honest and say that I've wanted you to kiss me for quite some time, but I'm not ready for something like this..."

This was true in L's case. He was never good at revealing his emotions. He hardly gave into them since he could lose sight of what's really going on if he let your emotions get the better of him. It was one of the reasons why he almost lost to Light, no to Kira. Light was the first person to ever make him question himself. He honestly loved him with all his being, but his self consciousness and unsociable manner made it difficult for him to open up to even his closest friend.

Light glared angrily as he bit down on L's shoulder. He could taste the red liquid now filling his mouth.

"Light, stop." L said as a warning. Light wouldn't budge. L grabbed Light's wrist forcing him down. "I said stop!"

Light's eyes stared with anger and rage. "You want this and yet you won't even consider me! After I confessed y-you just come up with that shitty reply?"

"Light-"

"What are you afraid of? Tell me! I know I don't know much about my past, but I feel that I had the same feeling as I do now about you..."

_Oh, I doubt that, Light..._ "I'm sorry, but I wish to tell you nothing."

"You heartless man! Why do you have to be like this? You never show your true feelings, so you build up a shell to keep everyone out. Then you end up pushing everyone away, even the ones who really care about you!"

L felt the stabbing pain of how true those words were. Light was now sobbing in his arms, but L felt anger boil inside him. He rarely got angry, but sometimes Light pushed him over the edge.

L dragged Light by the wrists out of the room. He threw Light in the room across from theirs quickly locking the door behind him.

Light had been in the dark, empty room earlier today. Light ran into the door screaming and pounding on it. "Ryuzaki! Ryuzaki, please, I'm sorry! I didn't mean to be rude! Ryuzaki, please let me out! I'm afraid, Ryuzaki! Please, let me out!" Light screamed from a new found fear of the dark.

L sank down outside of the door. He rubbed his temples trying to calm himself down. He was continually tormented by Light's screams that he would sound when L locked him in that closet. it reminded him of when Light was in prison after being captured. L felt bitter hatred for himself each time Light called for him.

After a few hours the pounding and shouts stopped all together as Light felt the waves of exhaustion sweep over him. L rested his head against the door frame hearing Light's steady breaths.

L opened the door seeing Light collapsed on the floor. L rubbed his neck where Light bit him. He shook his head slightly as he picked up the sleeping boy carrying him back to their room. L placed him in their bed crawling in behind him embracing him tightly. Light responded by wrapping his arms around his waist.

"...Ryu...zaki..." Light whispered in his sleep.

L kissed Light's head running his fingers through it slowly. "I'm sorry, Light..."

The insomniac felt Light's arms tighten around him. He felt the deep pleasurable moments of Light's soft breaths against his skin. Sleep dragged him under with the sleeping killer in his arms.

YaY Chapter 1! It'll probably be a while for chapter 2 cuz I'm trying to finish Paradise? but what did you think? I know Light is out of character right not, but he's supposed to be since he can't remember who he was. Oh well... Please comment and tell me what you think to help me with the next chapter. Thanks!


	2. Chapter 2

_L was awoken by sinister laughter. He stared up at the familiar red eyes. They gleamed demonically as their owner smiled revealing his white teeth._

_L rose off his bed stepping away slowly. "I didn't think I'd see you again, Kira…"_

_Light's eyes lowered as he remembered his old name. "You didn't think you'd actually killed me, did you?"_

_"What made you show up now?"_

_"I'm sick of the way Light's acting. It's not like Kira." Light stretched out on his back. "If it was my choice you'd be dead by now, L."_

_L tasted the bitter hate for Kira boiling in him. "It's not you who's controlling him."_

_Light turned back over on his stomach. "You think so? I never actually controlled Light. He did what I willed him to do. The Death Note was just a tool I used…" He chuckled. "But there was one thing we shared. We both wanted you dead."_

_L shivered as his back touched the wall. Light pushed himself off the bed walking towards the detective. "How does that make you feel, L? That I still lurk within Light? It must be hard to comprehend when he acts so innocent." Light's hand moved up touching his cheek. He whispered in L's ear, "What if I kill you?" Light's fingers curved as he dug his nails into L's pale skin._

_L grit his teeth stifling a scream that lurked in his throat. "What would you gain from that, Kira?" L muttered through clenched teeth. "You don't have the Death Note anymore, and I doubt you'll be able to get your hands on another one." L lowered his eyes as the pain slowly stopped and left a numbing sensation on his cheek. He knew the one thing that would set Light off, "You will never become God."_

_The demon's eyes sparkled in thought. L could feel the rage rolling off Light in powerful waves. "…You're right. Maybe I wouldn't have anything to gain from killing you." Light pushed himself off the wall and turned to the window. He glared at the far off lights indicating the city."But I wouldn't lose faith. I've figured that I've lost the game to you. I can't change the world, but I can get even."_

_L stared blankly at the predictable Kira. Of course he was going to get even! Both Light _and_ Kira hated to lose! That's the only reason Kira would still hold his hate for L would be for vengeance. "That seems rather childish of you."_

_Light licked his fingers removing the sweet, red liquid. Light's blood lust increased. "Go on and act like you normally do. Scold me. Taunt me. Whatever. I don't care anymore." Light stared into the eyes of L._

_"So you insist on killing me?" L studied the eyes. They were holding back laughs. L remembered Kira's laugh._

_"Not right now…" Light walked back over to the detective. "The game wouldn't be fun if I killed you right now. No, I'll take my time and wait. I'd hate to make you miss out while you spend time with Light."_

_"Well isn't that kind?"_

_Light laughed. No, Kira laughed. He'd been holding back the insane chuckles that showed his true madness. Once he started he couldn't stop. Light's head fell back as he let the evil sounds echo across the walls._

_"… Kira… Light, why are you laughing?"_

_They both answered as they continued their chuckling, "Because everything's so funny!"_

L jolted himself awake. He felt the beads of sweat on his heads as he tried to steady his breathing. It was still very dark, but he could tell it was early. It had been a while since the insomniac slept through the whole night.

He sat alone in his room. Where was Light? He stumbled out of bed making his way down the hallway. He walked down the stairs and across the hard wood floors in a daze trying to wipe out his nightmare.

L walked into the kitchen seeing the auburn haired boy laughing at the elder with white hair. Watari had returned sometime in the night. L hadn't noticed.

Light started stroking Kira's ears when he noticed L. "Good morning, Ryuzaki!"

L hated how this new Light never seemed to be phased by anything. "…Good morning, Light. Good morning, Watari."

The old man's face seemed to light up. "Are you well, Ryuzaki?"

"Quite well," He replied at the man who was like a father to him.

Light stared silently studying the actions of everything in the room. He was feeling uneasy about what had happened last night. He didn't feel right talking about it with Watari there. It made him uncomfortable.

"Ryuzaki, what happened to your neck," Watari asked with deep concern.

L thought of his dream. Kira had clawed his neck. L felt his neck. He sighed in relief when he felt Light's teeth indentions. "Nothing, Watari. It was an interesting night..."

Light's cheeks got red trying to hide his look of guilt running through him. L thought the attempt was amusing and... dare he even imagine _cute._ He couldn't not after what happened last night, but he found everything about Light intriguing.

L knew Light was uneasy around Watari. He'd always been. Even with his memories he hardly stayed in the room when he appeared. "Watari, I want to thank you for making breakfast and all of your help. I give you permission to leave and you don't have to work today."

"Thank you, Ryuzaki, but I don't need a vacation." Watari knew L's intentions when he spoke. "Do you wish for me to continue?" Watari motioned to the eggs and tea on the stove.

"I'll continue cooking," L said walking over to the pan of fluffy yellow.

"I'll leave you to it then. Good bye Ryuzaki, Light." Watari bowed as he exited the room.

L started scraping the eggs off the pan and into a plate. L hated eggs. They were like rubbery pieces of cheese or something. He couldn't pinpoint their exact flavor. L placed the eggs on the table in front of Light. He caught a whiff of something else cooking. He opened the oven door. Muffins!

L loved how Watari knew him so well. He quickly put on some oven mitts and grabbed the tray of fluffy treats. He sat them on the stovetop as he closed the oven.

L scooped the muffins onto a plate as they cooled and picked up the teapot on the stove. He set the items in front of Light and turned to turn off the stove's burners.

L set the table with plates and silverware. He got two cups out of a cabinet and poured the tea in them handing one to Light and sitting down across from him as he was finished.

Light usually spent his mornings watching L prepare breakfast, if they decided to eat. Usually if Watari appeared they'd eat. Light watched as Kira sniffed at the eggs.

"Light, I would kindly ask that Kira not eat at the table," L muttered biting into his muffin.

"Why, Ryuzaki?"

"Because cats don't eat at the table… They eat on the ground."

Light curiously tilted his head to one side as he placed the cat by his feet. "That's strange…" Kira nipped at Light's pants mewing slightly.

"So, what shall we do today, Light? Are you going to look over your videos? Do you want me to get you some more of them?"

Light shook his head poking at the eggs now on his plate. "I'm not feeling up to it right now…"

"Really? Are you ill?"

Light put on another one of his fake smiles. "I'm fine." His auburn hair fell across his now closed eyes. He stood up from the table.

"Where are you going?" L asked.

"I just wanted to take a walk if that's okay."

L stood up. "That sounds like fun. Shall we go?"

Light's expression was undetectable. L studied Light as he went stiff. "Are you sure you're okay, Light?"

"I just wanted some time to _myself_." Light's eyes met the detective's.

Light words hurt L, but what was new about it? His best friend had tried to kill him and lost all his memories. He understood Light's dilemma. He'd become more clingy than usual. His nightmares became more and more apparent. Every time he closed his eyes he saw the glowing, red eyes of his enemy. "I'm sorry. I didn't realize I was annoying you." L took his seat once again.

Light sighed looking at L's unhappy expression. He'd picked up on L's habits quickly. When he was depressed he seemed to slouch more. "I'm sorry about last night."

"I think I should be apologizing… I'm not very skilled at _that _subject." L could feel his face getting hot.

"And you think I am?" Light sat back in his chair. "I just thought that we both would want this. I mean, I don't understand…"

L stretched out his hand to touch Light's arm. "It's all right. You don't have to understand."

"Have you ever done anything? I mean, had a serious relationship with someone?"

L shifted in his seat. He was uncomfortable sharing this information with Light. "I've had moments where I've slept with some women. However, it was not out of love."

"Then, why'd you do it?" Light's head tilted.

L had slept with some suspects on certain cases. He'd go to any lengths to solve his cases, but he couldn't exactly tell that to Light. "I'd gotten drunk and would end up in bed with them the next morning," L lied.

"I see… Have we ever…" Light couldn't form the word without blushing.

L remembered them brushing past each other a few times while they were hand cuffed together. They'd had some awkward moments while being around each other, but nothing serious. "No."  
Light stared at the wood grains on the table for a moment. "Did you want to?"

L sighed this was not the conversation he wanted to be having. "Light, I already told you—"

"Yeah, I know. You're self conscious or whatever. I'm not saying we have to. I'm asking did you ever want to?"

L sighed admitting defeat as their eyes met. "Honestly? Yes, but I was never good about showing my feelings."

Light's face seemed to light up. L just slouched even deeper. His chin almost touched the table. Light tried to think of a way to make him happier and forget what had happened.

Light pulled his legs to his chest arching his back slightly. He nibbled on his thumb as he pretended to scan the room. He used to do this when he first came to live with L thinking it was _normal. _

L made a small chuckle, "_Why are you sitting like that?"_

Light looked down at his own posture then back at L. "_Isn't this how I'm supposed to sit?"_

_"No, you sit like this_," L brought his legs from his chest to the ground. He sat straight as he acknowledged his sitting position.

"_It seems painful," _Light muttered seeing L in his new stiff position.

_"I assure you it isn't_."

"Then why do you sit like this?" Light broke away from the reminiscent conversation.

L returned to his normal position, "I think well if I sit this way. And I think I've grown accustom to it."

Light looked at the table of uneaten food. "We should clean this up…"

"I'm sure Watari will get it."

"Ryuzaki!" Light shot him a disapproving look.

"I was only joking, Light." L picked up his plate placing it in the sink. Light scraped his eggs into the trash and placed it in the sink as well. "I wish you'd open up to Watari a little more."

Light handed L the teapot. "I'm sorry… It just seems so awkward that such an old man would adopt a child."

"His wife and child both died in child birth. I find nothing wrong with that situation." L placed the pot with the dishes and started wrapping up the muffins. He couldn't let those go to waste.

"But anyone else would've thought him as a… what do you all 'em?" Light thought for a moment, "Ah, a pedophile!"

"Light!" L stared at him in pure and utter shock.

"I'm sorry! I shouldn't have said anything!" Light seemed to flinch every time he made L upset.

L sighed as he brushed back Light's hair. "It's all right. Watari adopted me at an old age because he was _lonely_. He didn't have any underhanded motives for it… I'm surprised that someone who didn't even know what sex was knew that slanderous term."

Light grinned sheepishly, "You learn a lot from dictionaries. I heard that term on the news."

L shook his head. "Okay, so now that the day has begun. What to do?"

"Is there anything you have to do today?"

"I have some work I have to do, but nothing major."

It kind of depressed L that crimes had lessened over the years. They didn't announce Kira's capture, so most people would think he's resting or dead. He knew it was shameful on his part, but he wished something would happen. A string of robberies. A bomb going off near one of the capitals. Or, he looked at Light, a serial killer…

"Hey Ryuzaki, would you mind it if we did something tonight?"

L's head cocked, "What do you mean?"

Light got antsy. "Umm… I don't know like go out to dinner or something?"

"Light, I hardly think now is the time for _dating_."

Light's cheeks turned red. "Well, I mean it doesn't have to be considered as a date, maybe just two friends hangin' out?" Light smiled slightly trying to win over L.

"Fine," L reluctantly agreed, "but I'm not expecting anything out of this. Just dinner, nothing special."

"I think every dinner with Ryuzaki is special…"

L could feel his heart racing as warmth slowly filled his body. What was this feeling? "Alright. I'll make all the arrangements and you just wait patiently."

Light grinned excitement flooding through him. "Okay I'll leave you to it then!" Light walked over to the door of the kitchen. "I'm going to go watch my videos." And quickly Light exited.

L chuckled to himself. _He has so much energy. Strange how small words can affect someone. _It wasn't long before L realized he was also referring to himself. He felt like his heart skipped a beat when Light spoke to him. It amazed him how persistent Light still was. He wondered how long he would be able to hold back…

* * *

L waited at the end of the stair case. It annoyed him that Light was really getting into this. He actually thought it was amusing and _cute._ Hey shivered when that thought entered into his mind.

Light walked down the stairs in a neatly pressed, brown suit. He tightened his red tie. "I'm here."

L turned to face Light. He sighed slowly. "Light, wh—"

"Don't worry, Ryuzaki. I'm actually really comfortable right now."

L rubbed his temples in frustration, but he let Light have his way. "Fine. Are you ready?"

Light nodded as he walked to L. L slowly opened the door to reveal Watari standing in front the black limousine. Watari opened the back doors motioning them to get in.

Light and L lowered themselves on the thick, leather seats. Watari closed the door and entered on the driver's side. Light scanned the window as they exited the immense ground of L's estate.

"You seem excited, Light," L muttered getting Light's attention.

"Is that bad?" Light asked.

L turned to face out the window as the limousine came to an abrupt stop. Watari came to the door and let them both out. "May you pick us up in about an hour?"

Watari bowed, "Yes, Ryuzaki." He entered the car after shutting their door and drove off.

They were at a small coffee shop that had yellow and white as the chosen color scheme. L led Light to a booth in the back where they sat opposite of each other.

"Ryuzaki, this hardly seems to be the place to eat dinner." Light said playing with the daisies in the center of the table.

"Do you disapprove? We can leave if it's not to your liking." L hugged his knees close to his chest.

"No, I'm fine with this. It just didn't occur to me that you'd choose this place." Light giggled slightly when he smelled the familiar scent of cake. "Though, it doesn't surprise me. You should really think your eating habits. You can't eat cake all the time."

"I'll have you know I wasn't planning on eating just cake." L's eyes didn't meet Light's.

"Don't try to lie to me, Ryuzaki. I've lived with you long enough to know when you're lying. How selfish," Light muttered before leaning in closer to L, "but I don't mind it. As long as you're happy," Light returned to playing with the daisies.

"Why do you say that?" L's head slightly turned, but not enough to notice.

Light opened his mouth about to answer when he cringed trying to bury himself into his seat. Light's eyes got wide as he nonchalantly rubbed his head. Light started to wince when L picked up on his strange behavior.

"Light? Does your head hurt?" L asked placing his hand on Light's hand.

Light squeezed L's hand when he touched him. L clenched his teeth at the pain. Light continued to rub his head. His rubbing soon turned to scratching.

L tightened his grip. "Light…" He scolded Light for his scratching. Then he softened his expression, "Do you want to go home?"

Light shook his head. His face could clearly say he was in pain as he held back tears. He couldn't keep one as a drop of salty water fell from his eye. L quickly wiped it away.

L looked nervously at Light. "Light, don't push yourself."

"I'm fine…" Light whispered looking down letting his hair fall in his eyes.

L stood up and sat beside Light. He encircled his arms around Light as Light buried his head in L's chest. L stroked Light's hair. L could feel the awkward stares from the other people in the shop burning his back.

L pulled out his cell phone. "Watari, can you come pick us up?"

Light gripped L's shirt tightly hiding his face from L. L hung up sticking he phone in his pocket. "I'm taking you home."

Light looked up at L. His face was red and wet. Fear crept into his eyes. "R-Ryuzaki…" He pushed back into Ryuzaki's chest as his head started to buzz. It felt like it would explode.

"I'm not going to do anything. You just need to sleep."

L stood up making Light worry from his lack of contact. "C'mon, Watari's here." L outstretched his hand. Light quickly took it rising himself to his feet only made the pain intensify.

L led Light out of the shop. Watari was waiting patiently for them with a door open. L dragged Light in going back to the same position they were in earlier. Light let out the scream he'd been holding in as Watari started driving. He gave L a nervous look.

Light couldn't catch his breath as he felt the darkness in him consume him. He was brought down by black. He tried to fight it, but could feel himself growing weak.

L continued to stroke Light's hair when he felt him grow limp. He sighed laying his head back on the seat of the car. He turned Light over on his back laying his head on his lap.

Light's face twitched. L saw pure innocence in his face as he lay sleeping. L placed his hand on the side of Light's face. He bent down placing a small kiss on Light's cheek.

**Yay! chapter 2! tell me what you think. Hope to get part 3 up soon.**


	3. Chapter 3

L awoke in total darkness. Had he been asleep? He couldn't tell. There were no nightmares, which seemed like a dream itself. He only knew there was darkness…

L stretched himself out of his scrunched up form with his legs pulled to his chest and back slightly hunched over. He placed his hand on Light… wait. Where was Light? Had he seriously been asleep? He felt the cold sheets. Light had been gone for a while.

L pulled himself out of bed. There was a strange smell in the air. He couldn't quite understand it. It was sweet, but there was also a foul smell with it. He looked at the clock:

**5:30 A.M.**

L groaned. Why had he been sleeping so long now? Usually he'd get about two hours of sleep, but now he'd been getting four or five hours… Maybe it was due to his lack of work? He hadn't solved a proper case in a little over nine months.

L shifted from the clock when the foul smell became stronger. Was it smoke? He walked down the hall way till he got to the stair case. _It's coming from the kitchen_, He thought as he walked down the stairs and peered through the kitchen door.

Light looked into the oven and reached out his bare hand to grip the pan. He quickly jerked it back when his tan flesh touched the hot surface.

"Ow!-Damn it!" Light yelled cradling his hand. He looked back into the oven. "Ya know it be great if you would help me!" Light looked at the cat on the table whose eyes were following a fly across the room. "Kira!" The cat looked up at Light. "I need help how do I get this thing out without burning my hand off?"

The cat tilted his head before jumping off the table. He walked over to a drawer two cabinets down from the oven. He looked at Light then back to the drawer. Light pulled back on the knob and saw small pieces of cloth.

Light smiled as he picked up a blue rag with thick fabric. "Thank you, Kira," Light muttered turning back to the oven. Light quickly removed the pan from the oven. He placed it on the stovetop before turning it off.

Light returned to the table sitting in his usual seat. Kira jumped on L's chair then to the table walking towards Light.

Light looked at his now red hand comparing it with his tan, untouched right hand. Light looked up at Kira showing off his hands. "What do you think?"

Kira licked Lights burn. Light sucked in a deep breath feeling something touch his skin. "You think Ryuzaki will like it?" He asked trying to avoid his pain.

The cat mewed cheerfully.

"Okay," Light lifted himself from his seat and walked back over to the pan. "Let's get this bad boy outta here!" Light yelled with Kira's eyes watching him curiously.

Light pulled out a plate from the cabinet behind him right beside the refrigerator. He set the plate on the counter beside the stove. Light picked up the rag again as he picked up the pan. He quickly turned it over above the plate. The fluffy white mass crumbled out of the pan in small chunks. Light eyed the crumbs.

"What happened?"Light muttered as he dumbfounded picked up the plate.

L entered the kitchen. He was amused by Light's frantic running around the kitchen, but he had to know what was going on. He pretended to be utterly surprised when he saw Light. "Light, what are you doing?"

Light's cheeks were highlighted with a deep shade of crimson. He turned around to face his friend. "Ryuzaki, I-uh…" He scanned the room now seeing the mess he'd made.

There was flour everywhere. It'd been slashed across the wooden cabinets. Bottles leaked out their small amounts of liquid on the counter. Bowls and cups were stacked along the counter.

"I'll clean this mess up," Light muttered.

L looked at the plate in Light's hands. "What were you making?"

Light looked embarrassed as he looked at the large chunks on the plate. "Oh-uh… I was trying to make a cake for you. I don't know what went wrong…"

L walked over to the "cake" and lifted a piece in his mouth. I was sweet, too sweet. L could taste the sugar cubes crunching between his teeth. It was also, very dry. The soft cake was screaming for some type of liquid. It had a bitter aftertaste either from being slightly burned, or being loaded with flour. "It's really not that bad," L lied lifting another bite to his mouth.

"You don't have to lie to me, Ryuzaki. I know it's terrible… I guess I didn't get my measurements right."

L saw Light was using drinking glasses as measuring cups. "Those glasses are more than a cup…"

Light's _right_ hand slapped his head jokingly. "I didn't put any eggs in it either. I know you don't like them."

This statement made L happy. Light was really trying to please him. "You have to put eggs in regardless, Light. Eggs hold the cake together and moisten it."

"Oh…" Light smiled sheepishly.

"What possessed you to even make a cake, anyway?"

"Oh yeah," Light paused for a moment to set the plate down on the counter. He turned with arms outstretched to L. "HAPPY BIRTHDAY!" Light pulled L into a tight hug.

"How did you know it's my birthday?" L said fighting the urge to hug Light in return.

"Watari told me yesterday. I was trying all day to figure out what I could do for you. And then at dinner last night…" Light couldn't finish his sentence.

"Are you okay? You seemed to be in a lot of pain…"

"Oh no. You know how my headaches are. I'm fine. I was just kind of… upset when I woke up."

"Why?" L stared at Light nervously pulling out of Light's hug.

"Umm… Nothing." Light smiled.

L remembered Light's hand. He grabbed Light's wrist checking the red skin. "C'mon we need to wrap your hand."

L led Light to the skin letting cool water run over it. Light hissed as he felt the water run down his fingers into his palm. L opened a cabinet beside Light's leg and pulled out some gauzes. He rubbed Light's hand dry with the cloth he used to take out the "cake" after he turned off the water. L wrapped up Light's left hand in the white gauze.

"Sorry I didn't get you anything," Light commented.

"You tried to make me a cake, Light. I'm happy... I've never celebrated my birthday before, so you don't have to do anything special."

Light's got wide with surprise. "I'm not going to forget your birthday! We need to celebrate. How old are you anyway?"

"I'm not going to actually tell you my age. It doesn't matter anyway. We're not going to celebrate."

"But Ryuzaki -" Light started.

"Why is this so important to you?"

Light sighed, "If you weren't born then I'd be alone..." Light's hair fell in his face. "If Ryuzaki wasn't here then I don't know what I'd do..."

L didn't think he impacted Light _that _much. He couldn't help but feel happy when Light said this, but he knew what would've happened if he wasn't around. "It's okay, Light. I'm sure you would have managed to get by."

Light looked up at him nervously, "Ryuzaki, I know it's your birthday, but I was wondering if I could ask for something?"

"You may," L replied knowing Light too well.

"Well... can I have a kiss?" Light asked in hopes that L would say yes.

Apparently, L didn't know Light as well as he thought he did. He looked into Light's eyes trying to reject them. L got just couldn't say no to Light, _especially_ when he wanted something. "Just a small one okay?"

Light nodded as L placed his hands on the sides of Light's face. L gentle kissed Light feeling warmth when their lips touched. Light wrapped his arms around L's waist as L moved his hands down to rest on Light's chest.

It felt... good. L had to admit that. He licked Light's bottom lip requesting entrance, which Light happily allowed. L moved his tongue against Light's as they competed for dominance. Light _had _done this before.

L pulled away. Both of them were panting. A small trail of saliva was the only thing that connected them to each other.

L realized he wanted _more_. He turned away trying to gather his thoughts.

"Ryuzaki," Light muttered in L's ear sending shivers down his spine, "thank you."

L put his thumb up to his mouth biting the nail gently. "Y-you're welcome."

Light's arms encircled around L's waist pulling him into Light's chest so Light could see his face. "Hey Ryuzaki, you think we could have a party tonight? It doesn't have to be big. It could be just the two of us. Please?"

L closed his eyes as he felt Light's steady breathing on his forehead. "That's fine, Light."

_Why is my heart beating so fast? And Why am I felling nervous all of a sudden? It couldn't be... No! It can't be... Love? No, I can't be in love with Light. I mean, I had one moment when I thought I was, but I'm not! I can't be..._

Light squeezed L close to him nuzzling his neck, "Thank you, Ryuzaki!" Light walked over to the table. "C'mon, Kira, we've got work to do." The cat jumped off the table following Light out of the room.

L looked at the unclean counters and smiled. _Of course..._ L reached in his pocket and grabbed his cell phone, "Hello, Watari... "

L decided he would try to please Light. After his shower he put on a sleek, black suit. He couldn't remember the last time he wore one. He pulled on a white, silk shirt tucking it into his pants neatly. He found a red tie and decided he would wear it too. L looked down at a pair of black dress shoes.

_Should I wear those too? I think if I'm going to do this I should do this right… Why am I so stressed out about this? It's just my birthday. _L sighed looking at the shoes. _I really don't want to, but…_ L picked up the shoes and began to put them on his feet.

He looked at himself in the mirror. _It feels weird. _L walked out of his room and made his way down the hall. Light was laughing with Watari about something. He could hear them.

L walked to the edge of the stair case. He saw the younger man running around frantically.

"Watari, where do you think he'll want these?" He heard Light say. Light soon ran out with a vase of roses darting into the next room. Light had on the same brown suit, or was it a different one?

Light came out of the room. He passed a quick glance in L's direction continuing to walk ahead. Light stopped and turned, "Ryuzaki?"

L walked down the stairs smoothing out his suit. "Well, what do you think? It's not too much is it?"

"No, you look great," Light said not taking his eyes off L for a moment. He looked back into L's eyes before smiling, "I've got to go help Watari. You go sit down." Light motioned to the room he just came out of.

L entered the dining room. They only ate in there on special occasions or when they had guests over. There was a long mahogany table that sat in the middle of the room and eighteen chairs surrounded it. Red roses sat in a vase in the center of the table. L walked along the hardwood floors and sat in the end chair closest to the door.

He removed his shoes sitting in his normal position as Watari entered with a silver tray with two plates on them. Watari placed one in front of L and the other to his right. Watari poured L a glass of champagne filling a second for Light.

L looked at his plate. There was chicken that had been brazed in some kind of red sauce and white rice sat beside it with sautéed vegetables beside that. It looked delicious.

L turned to Watari, "Are you going to join us, Watari?"

"I've been informed that this evening belongs to you and Light," The elder bowed before walking out of the room.

Light opened the doors soon after Watari left. He smiled when he saw L waiting for him.

"Is the food to your liking?" Light asked sitting down at the table.

L nodded, "It's really good."

They sat in silence as they ate.

"Light is spoiling me," L noted drinking his champagne.

"What makes you say that? I just wanted you to be happy," Light smiled. "After all, it is nice to celebrate once in a while."

L watched as Light stared blankly into space. He felt strange when he was with Light. He was always worried that his nightmares would become reality. He wanted to test the possibility of Light actually regaining his memories. If Kira would surface…

"Light," L asked, "what would be your idea of a 'perfect world'?"

Light looked questioning L, "A perfect world?" Light thought for a moment. "Well, I guess a world where I'd have my memories back and not have to worry about these headaches and… of course you'd be there, Ryuzaki."

L blushed as he looked at Light's eyes. They were honest. He stepped back into his shoes and stood up he quckly brushed against Light's lips with his. He looked for a moment into Light's wide eye before he left the room.

As soon as he shut the door to their room he felt tears form in his eyes. He never cried. He quickly removed his tie and shoes. He let his jacket fall to the floor and started unbuttoning his shirt. A tear ran down his cheek. Followed by another, then another, then another…

L fell into bed curling up into a ball. He buried his head into his pillow letting his tears fall.

_Why is this happening? Why am I feeling like this? It shouldn't be this hard! Why is he so innocent? He's trying to throw me off my game or something, right? _

Light opened the door entering into the dark room. "Ryuzaki?" Light muttered seeing L still curled up on his bed.

Light pulled off his tied as he stepped out of his shoes. He put his jacket and tie on his chair as he walked back to the bed. "Ryuzaki, are you alright?"

L gripped his pillow nodding, but not revealing his face. He felt Light's arms wrap around his waist as he felt his heat on his back. "Ryuzaki shouldn't lie," Light whispered in his ear.

L turned around burying his face in Light's chest. "What's wrong, Ryuzaki?" L sank deeper into Light's chest. "Ryuzaki…"

"Don't worry about me," He muttered. "I'm fine."

Light stroked L's hair he noticed L's pillow. "Have I upset you?"

"I'm fine!" L sounded annoyed, but didn't remove himself from Light's arms.

"Then why are you crying?"

L looked into Light's eyes. There was sincerity and fear in them. He couldn't see any traces of the red head been expecting. He could see Light. Only Light.

"I'm sorry," L gave him a nervous grin. "I've been thinking too much lately, but I really am fine. Thank you for tonight. I rea—"

Light kissed L gently. "Don't," Light smiled as he looked back at L. "Happy Birthday, Ryuzaki."

L nuzzled Light's neck feeling Light's breathing get steady as he fell asleep. L looked up at the peaceful Light brushing back his hair. It made him happy that Light was there with him. He settled down against Light's chest and closed his eyes.

**Ya chapter 3 TBC! tell me what you think...**


	4. Chapter 4

**Okayyy... I DO NOT OWN DEATH NOTE OR BLOOD+. Dude the man who wrote the song was Hanz Zimmer. it's really pretty, if you haven't heard 'Diva's Song' ("Diva Awaken") you should definately listen to it. "Diva Awaken" Is originally in Latin...**

**Sorry I cut this chapter kind of short because I was on word and I had already written 13 pages. I think that's a definate stopping point... K, so I guess I'll post part 2 up soon? lol. I might just make that chapter 5. I know the disclaimer at the top is a little confusing if you're one of the people who atually read these 1rst (or at all). If you read you'll understand. Other than that... ENJOY!**

L woke up still hearing Light's shallow breaths. His eyes were sore. He hadn't cried like that in a very long time.

Light's eyes slowly opened as light filled the room. Watari let himself inside. Light stretched out forgetting about his hold on L.

"Good morning, Watari," Light rubbed his eyes sleepily. "Did you bring my meds today?"

Watari held up a small paper bag. "Did you enjoy yourselves last night?"

Light clumsily got out of bed with closed eyes. Watari noticed they were both fully dressed. He could've let out a sigh of relief, but remained calm. Light took the bag from Watari, "Thank you." He left the room.

L sat up against the head board. "Good morning, Watari. Thank you for helping last night."

"I'm glad you enjoyed it."

"Light seems to be warming up to you."

"He is trying to please you," Watari said sitting on the bed ruffling L's hair. "He talks of nothing but you when we're alone, and asks me all kinds of questions about you."

L chuckled, lying back down on his pillow. "Yeah, he's been doing that a lot lately." He closed his eyes dazed.

"He's in love with you."

L's eyes flashed open, "Not you too, Watari!"

He smiled at the boy he considered his son. "He told me. He said that was the reason he wanted to please you. His only wish in life is to make you happy."

"He said all that?"

Watari nodded, "He seems deeply infatuated with you, Ryuzaki."

Ryuzaki gave Watari a pleading look. "What should I do?"

"Do what your heart tells you. I'm not going to stop you two. If you love him, you love him. I'm not going to get in the way of your happiness."

"I thought you would say that." He rolled onto his side and gave Watari a hug. He hadn't done it in a while. He smiled at the warmth.

Light walked back into the room. He jumped back, "What are you two doing!" He shouted in his kid voice. Light fell to his knees hiding his face in his hands, "Watari, you double-crosser! I pour all my secrets out to you, and you betray me!"

L rolled his eyes, but smiled seeing the new Light getting jealous. "Light…"

"No, Ryuzaki, I don't want to hear it!" Light huddled closer into the wall.

Watari roared with laughter. He hardly ever laughed. Needless to say, it surprised L. Watari jumped up and walked to Light. He turned away, "No way, Watari. I trusted you and you go off and betrayed me."

"Light, you should worry less about me and more about him," Watari whispered so L couldn't hear. "He's my son of course I love him, but I did not betray you."

Light's moisten eyes glistened as they stared at Watari. He flashed his attention to L. "Ryuzaki…"

"Is waiting for you," Watari said extending his hand.

Light jumped up and bowed quickly to Watari before jumping back into bed. "GOOD MORNING, RYUZAKI!" Light screamed as Watari exited the room.

L stared blankly at Light. _He's so adorable... I suppose... it wouldn't be too much trouble to fall in love… However, I did say I would retire if I ever did. I don't think I'm ready for that yet. Maybe until Light regains his memories? As if that was ever going to happen…_

Light snuggled against L. "Light, what are you doing?"

Light dug down deeper into L's chest, "Mmm… Cuddling."

L ran his fingers through Light's hair. Light smiled up at him. "May I watch my videos today?"

"Of course," L hadn't noticed he was smiling as well. He brought Light's mouth to his for a quick kiss.

Light looked surprised as he touched his lips. He thought the one he got last night was from the champagne, so he didn't take that into consideration. "So, it's _really_ okay?"

L nodded. Light laughed hugging L's neck tightly. "You're so childish today, Light."

"Well, I'm happy and I just took my meds. " He stuck out his tongue out playfully. "Ryuzaki has been so tired lately."

"I'm sorry. I've had a lot on my mind, but I think I've just made my decision." L looked at his clothes. He groaned, "How can someone sleep in a suit?"

Light looked at him curiously, "How can you sleep in jeans?"

"Touché." L mumbled still holding Light. "Light, I have to get up."

"Awww," Light wined lifting himself off of L and making his way towards the door. "I'm going to get one of my videos."

"Okay I'll come after I get dressed." L lifted himself out of bed after Light left. He slipped on his regular jeans and a T-shirt, and walked out of the room. Light would more than likely be in L's office, or the only room with a computer in it. L walked slowly to the door and opened it. There he is.

Light slowly was putting a tape into a small VHS player. Light scanned all the buttons before he came to the large red one that had 'PLAY' written on it. He pushed it and sat in front of the television. The television was pushed in a small corner away from L's work.

Light sat on the floor running through his emotions. He hardly noticed L coming into the room.

"Happy," A female voice replied from the video. There was a childlike drawing of a smiling boy… or girl? Light responded by pulling up the corners of his mouth.

"Sad." Another picture flashed across the screen as Light pulled down his lips into a steady frown.

L sat in his chair letting Light continue to get lost in his videos. L turned on the monitor. He put his thumb to his lips as he searched for some type of criminal activity. _Well Light, at least you'd be happy to know that Kira's managed to prevail for this long. _

L was feeling less lethargic. This just brought back painful memories and just made him feel lifeless. Nothing. What happened? Had Light seriously killed every living psychopath on the face of the planet? It just seemed illogical.

Hey, there was a drug smuggling in Japan... No, too easy. There were just minor crimes that L could probably solve in less than a week. It just seemed like wasted effort.

L casually bit down on his thumb nail. He scanned through some files only to be left in the dark, yet again. He leaned back against his chair letting out a deep sigh. He turned his attention to Light.

Instead of sitting, Light was now standing. He didn't remove his gaze from the television. He was holding his arms in a strange position. His right arm was in the air slightly bent at the elbow. His left was across his chest. His arm was not touching his chest, it just floated in the air as Light stared turning and stepping in strange familiar patterns.

"What are you doing?" L asked arching one of his eyebrows that was hidden by his hair.

Light turned around almost jumping out of his skin. Had Ryuzaki been watching him the whole time? "I-um... They were talking about dancing and I thought it looked interesting..."

L looked at the television. People were classical ball room dancing. If that was a way to describe it. They were just doing the basics. Light was trying to perform a solo box step. "You know that's a partner dance?"

"Of course," Light motioned towards the screen, "they are dancing with partners. I didn't want to disturb you, so I decided to do this by myself."

L smiled, "At least we know how we're going to spend our evening."

Light looked curiously, "We're going to dance?"

"If you want."

"Are we going to leave," Light seemed to flinch when he said this.

"No." L knew Light all too well, "You don't have to worry about what happened last time. It's not like it'll happen directly as you walk outside. You can't help that you have headaches."

"I know I'm just a little nervous... I'm going to go take a shower." Light turned off the television and walked to the bathroom. He hated talking about his health issues. Thankfully he had nothing _physically _wrong with him, just mentally.

Light removed his clothes, realizing he didn't change out of the ones from last night. He got a towel out from the cabinet that was underneath the sink. He placed the towel outside the bathtub. He turned a dial letting the water start pouring out rapidly from the showerhead.

Light quickly stepped in closing the shower curtain behind him. It felt good when the hot water hit his skin. He needed to be clean.

He felt weird since Ryuzaki had accepted their love. Light could still feel Ryuzaki's soft lips against his. He just wondered what it was that was making himself doubt everything. Something was lingering in Light's mind. His memories? No, it felt different.

Light started to work some shampoo in his hair. He dug in his fingers burying the soap deep in his scalp. Afterwards he rinsed out his hair and continued to let his mind wander.

He wanted to remember. He felt defenseless not knowing. It has gotten better, though. He used to be afraid of everything. He hated the feeling when he first came to England. A knot formed in his throat. He cast that image away. He needed to think of something else…

_I wonder what Ryuzaki plans for tonight? Have I even danced before? Damn it! I hate not remembering! It's so frustrating re-learning everything._

"_Light…_"

Light's ears cocked. Someone was outside the shower curtain. "Ryuzaki?" Light asked. The voice sounded _familiar_, but it wasn't Ryuzaki.

"_Honestly Light, you don't remember me?"_

Light didn't understand why, but he felt scared. He turned off the shower and poked his head through the curtain. No one was there.

"_Light…"_ The voice was laughing as he teased Light with his own name.

Light scanned the walls looking for the voice. "Great, now I'm hearing voices…" He muttered grabbing his towel. Light dried his hair then wrapped the towel around his waist before stepping out of the ivory tub. He walked to the sink and wiped the mirror with his hand. He closed his eyes and began brushing his hair.

When Light opened his eyes he was startled to see a figure with red eyes and hair smile back at him through the glass. The thing that scared him the most was that it was _him _he was looking at, but he seemed… different. Light felt his hair pulling one of the auburn colored locks in front of his eyes.

The Light in the mirror laughed at him. "_It's been a while Light. You've changed."_

Light's eyes widened as the mirror image started to talk. "Who are you?"

His crimson eyes lowered as his smile widened. "_I am Kira."_

Light arched an eyebrow. "But Kira is a…"

"_You named the cat as your memories tried to remind you of who _you _are."_

"...I am Kira?" Light's head started spinning. He rubbed his temple trying to escape what was happening. "…So I am you?"

"_You're much more than that, Light. However, L is trying to hide it from you."_

"L?" He'd heard the name before. Where had he heard it?

"_Ryuzaki,"_ The image clarified. "_He's been lying to you."_

Light stared in horror at the evil eyes. "Y-you're lying! R- Ryuzaki loves me. He wouldn't—"

_"—Wouldn't he? Let's be logical here. Why do you think he made you leave Japan?"_

"So I could live here with him."

"_Hardly… It was so he could get you away from your familiar area. It was to help suppress your memories. He didn't want you killing more people."_

Light couldn't believe what was happening. This was impossible. "I-I've never killed anyone."

"_How do you know? You can't remember. You were being tracked by Ryuzaki so he could put you in jail. He pledged his life to putting you to death."_

Light dropped his hands clenching the sink. He felt terrible. His heart ached at thought. "No… I don't believe you."

The image's smile widened revealing perfectly white sharpened teeth. "_You both were hunting each other down trying to kill each other. You wanted him dead."_

"No!" Light yelled throwing the brush that was still in his hand at the mirror. It shattered into tiny pieces and shards. Light panted still clutching the sink. He felt tears streaming down his face. "Shut up! I don't believe anything you say." Light could hear the incessant laughter echo off the walls. He clutched his ears.

He felt arms come over him. Light automatically pushed away. "I said leave me alone! Just go away." The arms were insistent and Light couldn't take it. He reached out and scratched whatever was in front of him. He heard a gasp.

Light could get satisfaction out of that, but something picked him up. He refused to open his eyes. He didn't want to see the eyes again. He was afraid, so he was trying to get out of his hold by moving. He kicked his legs, waved his arms, anything. Light felt something cold around his wrists. He jerked failing at the attempt to separate his arms.

He soon felt alone. He was whimpering as he opened his eyes and saw nothing. Darkness. He could've sighed in relief, but then he realized who must've put him in here.

"Ryuzaki? Are you okay? I'm so sorry. I had no idea that was you."

_"Are you kidding? It was obvious that he'd be the one to take away. It's not like you can pick yourself up in midair."_

Great the voice was going to stay. _Perfect_, Light thought rolling his eyes.

_"You know, I know what you're thinking. I'm you remember?"_

"Great that just makes it even better," Light said rolling on his back. He had handcuffs on his wrists and his arms were stretched over his head. "So why'd you decide to show up out of nowhere? You say you're me and yet I've never heard of you."

"_Because Ryuzaki made his decision and now I can proceed with my plans."_

"Sorry, but I'm not exactly following you here." Light scanned the darkness, "and furthermore how are you going to go about doing your plans?"

"_What are you talking about? You're me, I'm you."_

Light rested his head against the soft carpet. "Sorry, I happily decline."

"_No, I'm sorry. This plan has no exceptions…"_

"If you're me than shouldn't I have the right to make decisions for _myself?_ I refuse to do anything to hurt Ryuzaki."

A sigh let out, "_This was so much easier when you wanted him dead."_

"I've already told you I could never want Ryuzaki dead. That's how I know I'm hallucinating, or something."

_"Fine. I'm leaving for a few days to get my thoughts in order. It's not going to be easy explaining what happened for all those years."_

_"_I don't get why I'm hearing you. If you're me, then shouldn't I be able to block you out? We seem like two completely different people."

There was a very long silence before the voice answered himself. "_I'm the part of you that died along with your memories. However, it's going to take a lot more than burning the Death Note to get rid of me…"_

Light felt the sting in his arms as his arms begged to be released from the cuffs. _Wow has it really been that long since I've been in handcuffs? Or is it just because my arms can't move?_ Light was alone. He was left with so many unanswered questions. He didn't know if what the mirror image of himself said was true or not, but something about this guy…

Light pulled himself to a sitting position. He let his hands fall to the front of him in his lap. He seriously wanted his memories back. He wanted to know who was telling the truth. He'd stick with Ryuzaki until he found out. After all, Ryuzaki wouldn't lie to him, would he?

Light slowly made his way into a standing position. He walked to the door and found the knob. He slowly turned it and to his surprise the door opened. Ryuzaki didn't lock the door? That's strange…

Light made his was down the hall to the bathroom. The mirror was broken and shards lay on the floor and sink, but it was empty. He turned and walked to Ryuzaki's office. Nothing.

"Ryuzaki," Light called walking down the hall. Light stopped in the middle of the hall. He felt something leave him as crashed on to his knees. His eyes stared widely at nothing as his mouth was open. He turned, "Ryuzaki, what happened?"

Light stood up he was in the hallway? How'd he get here? Why was he wearing handcuffs?

"Light?"

Light turned as Ryuzaki was at the end of the hallway. He stood normally, but there was a small cut under his left eye where Light scratched him earlier. "Ryuzaki, what happened?" Light yelled running down the hallway.

L stared blankly at him. "You scratched me."

"Ryuzaki, I'm sorry! I had no clue that—"

"It's all right, Light. It's not like I haven't gotten hurt before."

L got used to Light's strange behavior. After he'd have certain out bursts or "episodes" he'd usually forget everything that happened up to that time. L had no clue what made Light angry, but no he'd have to clean the bathroom.

After L removed the hand cuffs on Light, he walked down the hall to the bathroom. Light's eyes widened as he saw the broken shards.

"How did… Ryuzaki, who did this?"

"You broke the mirror, Light. However, I have no idea why."

"Sorry… Do you have to buy a new one?"

L nodded slowly taking in the damage. He sighed. He didn't want to clean it at the moment. "Light, do you remember what made you do this?"

"Ryuzaki, I wouldn't be asking you if I did."

"True. I just wanted to confirm it."

Light looked both directions down the hall way. "Are you going to call Watari to clean it?"

L put his thumb to his lips, "Not yet. I just want to keep it here for a while. I'm curious."

Light rolled his eyes, "You're always curious."

"So are you. Besides there's no harm in it. This is not the only bathroom in this house."

Light nodded looking sadly at the ground. He seriously couldn't remember anything.

L turned and saw Light's gaze on the floor. He knew Light's sad absentminded stare. "Light, it's alright. I'm not mad." L brushed Light's hair out of his eyes.

Light kissed the scar on L's cheek that had already started to scab up. "I'm sorry."

"I forgive you… Are you alright?"

Light chewed his bottom lip for a moment. "Yeah…"

"Come with me," L grabbed Light's hand and pulled him to their room. L motioned to the closet.

Light didn't know what L was doing. He looked down and realized he was completely naked. He blushed feeling Ryuzaki's eyes on him. "I…um—"

"Please put some clothes on, Light." L said. He wasn't going to stop looking at Light's body. Sure he'd seen it many times under surveillance and when they were handcuffed together, but L always couldn't help looking at Light.

Light placed his hands on L's shoulder and gave him a small peck on the lips, "Thank you."

Light had his entire body pressed against L. L was having trouble passing this offer up. He lifted his hand a little, but forced himself to calm down. The kiss lasted for a grand total of two seconds, but just the sight of the situation would give anyone ideas.

Light disappeared into the walk-in closet and got some black, cotton pants and a matching long-sleeved shirt. L stood there in silence trying to stop his heart from racing.

He watched as Light nonchalantly bent over to grab some underwear and socks out of a little cubby drawer on the floor. L rolled his eyes. _Idiot doesn't know one thing about sex._ Light quietly got dressed and smiled at L when he was finished.

"So what are we to do about this evening today, Ryuzaki?"

"It is evening," Ryuzaki muttered pointing to the clock on the night stand. "It's 14:37," **(2:37 p.m.). **"You were in the bathroom for hours, even after you got out of the shower."

"Strange, I can't remember even getting out of the shower."

L ruffled Light's hair. "So what do you want to do now? I can teach you dancing if you want. I've got all kinds of classical music. If you want to dance to it?"

"Can we?" Light smiled.

"Of course," L returned the sentiment.

* * *

L took Light into the kitchen. They moved the table and chairs to one side giving them more room to dance.

"So do you want it with or without music?" L asked as he admired the amount of space.

"Um… could we practice without music and then try it with music?"

L nodded as he pulled Light to him. "I'll be the male since I'm teaching you. The male always leads." Light nodded not bothering to ask L any questions. L put his right hand on Light's shoulder. "Okay, now you put that arm around my waist." L motioned with his free hand. Light happily obliged. L took Light's remaining hand in his and smiled, "There were in position. Now, all you have to do is follow my lead."

L stepped out with his left foot waiting until Light followed with his right. L stepped back with his right then stepped out with his left. Light followed him each time. "Now, when I bring my right foot up this time you step back." Light did as he was told and when he did they were back in the same spot they started.

"Great job. When you dance with this step you usually count off the beats with 1 2 3," L held up Light's arm signaling them to go. Each step they took L counted, "1 2 3," until they returned to the familiar spot. "When you get it down pat, you can do it where you can spin at the same time and still return to the same spot."

Light felt proud for accomplishing the dance, "So is that all there is to it?"

L nodded, "Yes it's a fairly simple dance. However, dance is an expression as well as an art form. You don't really need to know how to dance. All you have to do is move to the beat or emotion of the music."

Light's eyes sparkled, "Get the music."

L left for a few minutes and returned with a small stereo and some CDs. "I put a lot of my old songs on CDs, so they're mixed tapes." L was blushing when he brought them out.

"I want you to choose the song you like best."

L flipped through the CDs picking the one with his favorite songs on them. He put the disc into the stereo. He plugged it in and pressed 'PLAY' quickly. He ran back to Light.

There was an instrumental and as the strings started to play L bowed to Light. Light slowly returned the bow. They returned to their hold on each other as they began to step as a woman started singing. It was opera, but a really pretty song.

_'I am the voice that calls your name  
I am searching for you, love  
I am searching for you...'_

Light hugged L pulling him close but kept stepping in rhythm with the song. Light closed his eyes getting lost in the song.

_'Where has love gone?  
Nothing remains  
Only blood  
And sadness prevail_

_My heart bleeds for you, for you  
I crawl in...in darkness...'_

Light opened his eyes, "She sounds sad."

"I suppose she is..." L replied smiling as he danced with the song.

"It's a really beautiful song."

"Yes," L smiled snuggling into Light's hair.

_' I am the voice  
Of love that cannot live  
Yet it doesn't die  
Never!'_

When the song ended L let go of Light bowing as he backed away. Light mirrored him.

"Why do you keep blushing?" Light asked as L stopped the CD.

"...It's just it feels weird to dance like this."

"Are there other ways of dancing? I'm up for trying them if you are."

"I'm not a big fan of modern dancing-"

L's phone started ringing. L turned answering his phone. Light stared curiously at L. "No Watari! Please don't-" He paused, "I'm showing Light how to dance."

The door of the kitchen was kicked open as a blonde man in tight, black leather walked inside. He snapped off a piece of chocolate that was in his cleverly gloved hand. He stared at them coldly with his blue eyes. Half of his face, and more of his left side, had been marred by fire.

"Uncle Mello," Light said surprised.

"C'mere you little fucker," Mello said hugging Light. Mello hated Light for being Kira, but he knew Light couldn't remember anything. He was a little apprehensive at first, but warmed up to Light soon after they met. He got his kicks out of teaching Light slang and cursing at him which is why Light knows such words in the first place.

"What are you doing here?" Light said not bothering to return the hug. Light loved Mello. Not like he loved Ryuzaki, but there was still family love. He always made him laugh.

L rolled his eyes as he hung up his phone. He stuffed it back in his pocket. He glared at Mello.

"What I can't come visit you? That's real nice, and I even brought company."

A guy with brown hair, it seriously looked red in the light, pushed the door open. He had on a striped black shirt and thick, black gloves that came down to his elbow. He wore striped blue jeans and combat boots. He also had a pair of yellow goggle nestled gently on top on his head. "What the hell, Mello?"

"Uncle Matt?" Light pushed Mello away; they usually got along by rough housing. He walked up to Matt giving him a high five. "I haven't seen you in a while."

"What's up?" Matt said smiling at him. He walked over to Mello taking a bit out of his chocolate.

L's glare turned into a good, hearty scowl.

A boy with white hair was rubbing his eyes as two people stood behind him. He stared expressionlessly at everyone with his deep, black eyes. He was wear cotton, white pajamas. "Light," He replied bowing his head a little. He turned to L, "Ryuzaki."

Everyone was told to call L Ryuzaki. They didn't really think twice about it because they all had alias' of their own.

Behind Near was a woman and a man. The man stood to the right of Near. The man had dark brown hair that outlined his face. He kept to himself, but had the look of intelligence in his pale, blue eyes. He wore a clean, pressed, gray suit. The woman was to the left of Near. The woman had long, blonde hair that stopped just above her waist. She had cold, blue eyes and was very strict. She wore a light gray suit.

"U-Uncle Near," Light was always felt strange around Near. He never showed any emotion, like Ryuzaki except Ryuzaki _had _emotion. Near just seemed like a... robot. Still, he hugged Near. "And you brought Uncle Gevanni and Aunt Linder..."

Light extended his hand, Gevanni shook it. Linder sneered at him. Light still had no idea what relation they both had to Near. He knew none of them were related, but Light liked to consider all of them like family.

He didn't know why they kept their cheesy alias'. Light knew all their real names. Mello was Mihael Keehl, Matt was Mail Jeevas, Near was Nate River, Gevanni was Stephen Loud, and Linder was Halle Bullook. Light didn't tell them that, though. He came across some file and figured it out when Ryuzaki wasn't looking. The only name that was still a mystery to him was Ryuzaki... unless that was his real name? Light didn't know.

"Why are you here?" L seemed to growl it out.

Mello smiled, "I think we interrupted Ryuzaki tryin' to finally seduce Goldilocks over here."

L and Light both blushed. "C'mon Mells, what makes you say that?" Light tried to conceal his blushing as he spoke. "We haven't spoken to you in months and you just now decided to show up?"

Mello smiled, "It was his birthday yesterday, so we decided to come have a party."

"He just wanted to piss Ryuzaki off," Matt said pulling out his DS.

Mello growled snatching the DS from Matt. Matt growled at him snatching his chocolate from him. He pulled out his lighter from his pocket and held it under the chocolate bar. Mello glared, "You wouldn't."

Matt opened the top smiling brightly, "Wouldn't I?"

"Okay if you're going to burn something go outside!" L was livid.

Mello handed Matt his DS and Matt returned Mello's chocolate. Matt shoved the lighter back in his pocket as he turned on his game.

"Calm down," Mello said. "We weren't going to do anything."

"Matt never jokes when he pulls out his lighter."

"We have these types of fights all the time. It's alright."

"Can you just leave?"

Mello gave L an innocent look, "We really did want to have a party."

"You should respect other peoples wishes," Near muttered.

"Shut up. You know you want to dance with him as much as I do!"

Matt laughed, "Real smooth, Mello."

Mello shot Matt a death glare. He turned back to L. "So whaddya say?" Mello took a bit out of his chocolate. "Please?"


	5. Chapter 5

L woke up to the familiar scream of the children. At least that's what he considered them to be. He rolled out of bed giving the ceiling a death glare. He was not used to so much sleep, and now it was affecting him. L ran his fingers through his thick, black hair before wandering out of his room.

He'd allowed his successors to reside with him for the time being. He thought Light would have fun messing around with the people he considered family. It's funny how less than a year ago he'd been trying to kill all of them…

Anyway, they'd have a party, even though L detested the idea. He didn't mind it. He knew Light would have fun, and that's all that mattered.

Mello ran past L sending L back into his room. Light and Matt followed behind him. Near slowly walked out of his room Linder and Gevanni walked behind him.

"Good morning, Ryuzaki," Near muttered rubbing his eye.

"Good morning, Near," L returned the greeting. "How long have they been awake?"

"Too long in my opinion. They're acting like children."

"Well, it wouldn't be the first time. It's different to wake up to noise, but at least they're enjoying themselves." L and Near began to walk down the hall in hopes of tracking down the other boys.

Mello had been running in a complete circle for about an hour with Matt and Light following after him. Of course, Mello wasn't even close to being out of breath. He'd dealt with a lot more physical training while he was in the mafia. He never even thought to slow down when he saw Light and Matt panting behind him. He soon was ahead enough so that neither of them could be seen.

Mello stopped when he saw four heads bobbing in front of him. The abrupt stop made Mello fall to L's feet. He smiled nervously, "Good morning, Ryuzaki… Near."

"What kind of trouble have you gotten into this time, Mello?"

Mello got to his feet as Matt and Light stopped in front of them, as well. They were both pale and were panting. They caught their breath and automatically jumped on Mello.

Light retrieved a piece of paper and a lighter from Mello's pants. Mello didn't have pockets because the leather on him was already tight. There was no reason to waist time with pockets when he could stick things in the folds of his pants… except his gun. His gun was always kept in his back pocket, unless he remembered to wear a holster. Light threw the lighter at Matt.

L rolled his eyes, "Would you stop acting like children?"

Light smiled as he stuffed the paper into the pocket of his black, cotton pants. "Good morning, Ryuzaki."

"Did you sleep well, Light?"

Light nodded, "I'm sorry we disturbed you."

Mello groaned, "I'm sorry, I'm sorry, please forgive me!" Mello usually imitated Light to make both him and L angry. He succeeded almost every time. "C'mon, Light, man up some! Light Yagami never asked, he'd do."

Light made the assessment. He smiled sheepishly, "Thanks, Mello. I'm glad you're trying to help, but I don't think I'll be able to act _completely _normal ever again. I mean, it's not like I can force Ryuzaki to do anything, and we did wake him up…"

Mello rolled his icy blue eyes. "He's too soft on you, Ryuzaki… and he's stupid too. I pulled out 'Mini Mello' and he didn't even flinch!" Mini Mello is Mello's gun. His first gun to be exact and it was the first thing he bought after he left Wammy's House.

"I know you wouldn't shoot me, Uncle Mello."

_Oh now that is a laugh, _L thought to himself. "Let's just forget about the problems Uncle Mello's caused."

"Hey, it's not like I plan these things out."

Matt rolled his emerald eyes, "We know that much, Mello."

L added, "Especially since you thought pulling a gun on Light would solve any of your problems."

Mello grumbled to himself under his breath. Mello dragged Light a little further down the hall. Only a little to be away from the crowd but not enough to be unheard, "I don't want you makin' me look like an idiot."

"Yeah," Light smiled at Mello, "we can't help that you're such a dumb ass."

"Shut up, shit head!" Mello shouted back.

"Make me, fuck face."

"Cock sucker."

"Pussy eater."

"Nipple biter."

"Ear licker."

"Pussy!"

"Pansy!"

"You've gotten better you little bastard," Mello smiled ruffling Light's hair.

Light and Mello usually showed affection towards each other by shouting verbal slurs. It just made their friendship stronger. However, you could see distinctive shades of pink highlight Matt and L's faces.

"Mello," L growled not caring about his blushing, "I told you I didn't want you teaching Light those vulgar words."

Mello ignored L,"I think your husband's calling you. He must get anxious about seeing you with another guy."

Light flashed his gaze down the hall. "Funny, I was going to say the same thing to you."

A deep shade of red shaded Mello's cheeks before he clenched his teeth. He snarled, "Don't you say shit about Matt."

Light thought for a minute. He turned to Mello and smiled, "I'm just kidding. Don't get so emotional." Light walked over to L entwining his fingers with his. "Can we go outside today, Ryuzaki?"

L sighed forgetting about their remarks. "Of course."

Near stared with an emotionless expression that looked almost like boredom. "I'm going back in my room."

Mello scoffed, "Why, are you still tired?"

"Quite the opposite. I think I'm going to play for a few hours."

Gevanni had a slight twinkle in his eye. Linder simply glared like she usually did. They all three turned and disappeared in Near's room.

Mello and Matt busted out laughing. Matt wiped his eyes, "...What the... hell!"

"...What a fucking... moron!"

They continued to laugh until they could hardly breath. They were left panting with a familiar glare piercing through them. They gave sheepish looks to L.

"Why are they laughing, Ryuzaki?" Light asked pulling on L's arm.

L shook his head, "Nothing. Come on, let's go."

Mello and Matt straightened up. Matt gave Mello a stern look as L and Light stared to walk off. Mello sighed before calling to them. "Umm... Light, why don't you go ahead of him? Me and Matt need to talk to him."

Light stared blankly for a moment turning his head slightly. He smiled brightly, "Alright! Don't take too long alright?"

When Light was out of sight L turned to face Matt and Mello. "I knew there was a reason you came."

"Can we go somewhere private for this?" Matt asked knowing that they thought Light would be eavesdropping.

L lead them into his office. Mello pulled Matt down on the couch with him. Matt didn't really struggle and let himself rest against Mello. L sat in his usual chair in front of the computer. He turned to face them pulling a thumb up to his mouth.

"The sister's acting now," Mello put it bluntly.

L bit down on his thumb. "Sayu? What could she want?"

"She wants to see Light," Matt said. "She doesn't believe he's dead. I think that time we kidnapped her has put her on edge. The doctors said that she never fully recovered from it. I don't think the fact that both her parents are dead helps much either."

"So Light's mother died? From what?"

"Drug over dose," Mello said, "it wasn't very long ago. I think she was upset when Soichiro died, but not at a breaking point. When we said Light died she caved."

Matt cut in, "You have to understand she had to cope with both the deaths of her husband and son."

Mello nodded, "She was really trying to pull through for Sayu, but couldn't take it. She swallowed all types of medicine. We caught her when we had the house under surveillance. We caught her in time and rushed her to the hospital... She pulled the IVs out of her arm and took off her oxygen mask. She was hell bent on killing herself."

L stared at his knees for a moment. "So, what about Sayu?"

Matt rolled his eyes. "She calls the NPA every day. She doesn't believe Light's dead. She keeps calling to see him. I mean she _loves _Light. I guess if she knew he was Kira she wouldn't be this obsessed about seeing him."

"Well, tell her he's Kira," L said.

Mello glared, "L, you know we can't do that."

"I know," L thought for a moment. "What should we do?"

"... I think we should see her. Light should see her."

L gave Mello a pleading look.

"Look L, I know you don't like it, but Light should know the truth."

"I know, but he'll hate me for not telling him."

"He'll hate you even more the longer you wait."

L scratched the back of his head, "Alright. I guess I should do this now then..."

Matt smiled, "I'm sure he won't hate you. He'll be upset for a while of course, but he could never hate you."

Mello jumped up, "C'mon he's gotta know."

L stood up and walked towards the door. "Thank you..." L let himself out. His thoughts were pacing frantically in his head.

* * *

Light was sitting under a tall oak tree. The leaves were in a pile on the ground revealing the different shades of orange, red, and brown. Light closed his eyes as he felt a cold, steady breeze blow across his face. The leaves made a nice, comfortable resting place.

"Light…" Light looked up to see L standing over him. Light smiled as he pulled him down into the bed of leaves. L stretched out beside Light on his back.

"It's cold out, Ryuzaki," Light said snuggling into L's chest. "They kept you for a while is something wrong?"

L remained silent. His bangs were in front of his eyes no revealing how worried he was.

"Ryuzaki?" Light could tell he was upset, but why was he?

"Light," L started not meeting Light's eyes, "I haven't been completely honest with you. I did this because I wanted to protect you…"

"What are you talking about, Ryuzaki?" Light was deeply confused. He tried to see L's expression while he was talking, but it was Ryuzaki, he hardly showed any emotion.

"My real name is L Lawliet," He replied. "I met you in Japan about ten years ago. There were many murders going around all around the world. They were mostly heart attacks, but there were others who had different deaths. I went to Japan because I was investigating and trying to find the person or persons responsible… Light, I'm a detective. One of the three greatest detectives the world has ever known: L, Eraldo Coil, and Deneuve. I am them. "

"Why are you telling me this, Ryuzaki?" Light never asked about L's work. He thought it was too personal, so he never thought to ask.

"We figured out that the killer was alone, at least for that time being. He was a high school student. He had a vast amount of knowledge. The world knew him as Kira.

"I agreed with Kira, to an extent. I agreed with the fact that he only killed criminals because he thought the world is a rotten place. However, he killed innocent people who tried to oppose him and wanted to be uplifted as a god. I knew it was a childish dream. The fact that still remained was how did he kill? He didn't have to even be near the person to kill them; he just needed a name and a face.

"I found it hard to believe when there were more people gaining Kira's power. Some didn't need a name just a face. I investigated and found the identities of each of them. Now, three of them are dead and two are alive."

"Only two? Well are they in prison?"

L shook his head.

"Why? If they're criminals then shouldn't they be? They killed people and you just let them go free?"

"The… the second Kira was a girl. A model named Misa Amane. She wasn't the smartest person, but not as dumb as you'd be lead to think."

"Misa Amane? Isn't that that actress in that lame romance move we watch not long ago? She's a really good actress! She's really cute. She doesn't seem like the type to murder hundreds of people."

_Neither do you…_ L thought silently. "The weapon they use was a simple, black notebook. If you wrote a person's name in it they would die. It was hard to believe at first, but we knew it was true. Mello, Matt, Near, and I worked together with our different teams in order to catch Kira."

"But you did catch him right? He didn't slip away did he?" Light's eyes sparkled hearing the story.

"We caught him and confiscated the notebook. Death Note was sprawled over the leather cover. We took Kira into custody and locked him in a cell until we figured out what to do with him. He was my best friend and I didn't want to see him die. I would stare at the Death Note every day trying t think of an idea to save him. I thought if I could take it away he wouldn't kill, and the shinigami couldn't kill him… I burned it.

"We had to rush Kira to the hospital afterwards. He'd fainted. I was worried. He was my only friend and I couldn't have him die."

"He did die, didn't he?" Light asked, "I mean he had to. I've never seen him, have I? You shouldn't get attached to the criminals you're investigating, Ryuzaki."

"I know," He smiled solemnly, "but I loved him… more than anything and I wasn't going to let him die knowing that. About a week later he woke up with no memories about anything: his name, his family, or even me."

"…You mean I-I'm Kira?" Light felt a knot forming in his throat.

"You were, but not anymore. Kira died along with your memories."

Light jumped upfront the leaves. He couldn't help but start pacing, "… So I killed all those people? I'm the reason we have shows like 'Kira's Kingdom'?" Light cradled his head in hands as he fell to his knees. "I'm a monster."

"No, Light," L sat up and placed a hand on his shoulder. "You could never be a monster… Power corrupted you, that's all. It happens to everybody. It's human nature…"

"And you took me here. Why didn't you just let me die?" Light could feel the tears trickle down his face.

"I told you, light. I love you so much and I never want anything bad to happen to you."

"You mean you_ loved_ me. I'm not who I used to be so how can you still have feelings for me?"

"Because even without your memories you're still just as interesting, just as amazing. You have changed, but you're still you in some way not just in looks. You're still intelligent and sympathetic. Maybe more than you were, but you are. I love answering your questions and how different your reaction is for each one. I love everything about you, Light."

Light wiped his eyes, "I- Ryuzaki, just- I can't do this!" Light jumped up and ran inside.

"Light wait!" L shouted chasing after him.

Light ran upstairs to his, and L's, room. He locked himself inside and a=sank to the floor. He hugged his knees to his chest letting his tears fall.

L knocked on the door, "Light, it doesn't matter anymore. I know it's hard to understand, but it's over now. I'm sorry I lied, but I didn't want to see you upset. Please come out, Light." L could hear Light sniffling, but he made no effort to open the door. L sank to the floor in defeat.

Matt poked his head out of the office. He walked to L with Mello behind him. "So… does he hate you?"

"No, but I think I do," L leaned his head back on the door.

Matt sat on his right, Mello his left. "Did you tell him about Sayu?" Matt asked.

L shook his head.

"Hey, don't worry about it L," Mello said. "He'll come out sooner or later. Let's not resort to wrist slitting okay? Do you want us to get you something? We'll do whatever you—"

"Just go," L muttered silently feeling the tears spike in his eyes. L looked up and saw them both looking at him sadly. "You asked me what I wanted, so go."

Matt and Mello reluctantly stood up and walked hand-in-hand down the hall way. When they disappeared L slammed his head back against the door. He could feel the stinging feel more like burning now that the tears made their way down his face. "Damn it…"

L and Light rested against the hard, wooden door that night. Little thoughts echoed through their heads. Neither could sleep, but Light couldn't find the courage to face L and L couldn't get into the room without Light unlocking the door. At that moment, they both were lost…

**Wow. additude changed. lolz no lemons yet and I'm enjoying every minute of it :P but WTF! it's funny how a mood can go from happy to serious in a matter of seconds...**


	6. Chapter 6

Light hated this feeling. He was a monster a cold, cruel, heartless monster. Ryuzaki probably lied to him in hopes that he would never have to become that monster again. Light hugged his knees closer.

"_Maybe you could lock yourself up here till you die. After all, who's going to miss you?" _The voice didn't feel like his. Something changed.

Light's eyes flashed open, "Kira!"

"_Told ya' I'd be back. Ya' miss me?" _Light gripped his throat trying to figure out why he was talking. This was not him. "_I told you we're one and the same. Now I don't have to go away. We'll just die together this time."_

"If you died then how can you still be alive?"

"_Do you believe in resurrection?"_

"No," Light spat out bitterly.

"_Strange since you used to believe all this stuff. You were supposed to be God."_

"That was a childish, impossible dream that I have no memory of. I don't believe in anything you tell me. Just go away!"

"_I was hoping you'd hate him, but man you're persistent."_

"And you're stubborn."Light chewed on his bottom lip. He could make out brief sounds from past conversations with his former self. He couldn't tell what he was saying through his blurred memory.

"_Hey, Light_," He chuckled sinisterly as he whispered, "_I know how you can get your memories back_."

"What?"

"_That's right and if you want them all you have to do is ask."_

Light thought for a moment. He desperately wanted his memories back! He felt incomplete without them even more so now since Ryuzaki told him his past. Then all these questions ran through his mind.

Had he really killed all those people? Had he even known them? What happened to them? What had _he _done? What did his family think of him? Was his family even alive? Did they know what a monster he was?

"…Light?" Light heard L from the other side of the door. "I know you probably don't want to hear it, but listen to me, alright? I'm sorry. I didn't mean to lie to you. I never wanted to. It just seemed… easier at that time. I promise I'll answer any question you have for me. I'll never lie again."

"It's Ryuzaki," Light whispered in the dark.

"_Maybe if you ignore him he'll leave."_

Light rolled his eyes, "Just shut up. I'm going to talk to him." Light slit the door open slightly. Light poured in the room. "Good morning, Ryuzaki."

Ryuzaki's eyes were red and puffy. He looked tired as always. However, he'd been crying.

"Great I upset you again," Light moaned. He hated to see L like this.

"No it was my own fault. Mello and Matt were being idiots again."

Light chuckled, "Well that is their specialty."

L forced a chuckled, but it was obvious it was fake. Depression hit L hard in the chest and now he felt the tight knot forming in his throat. "…Um… So did you want to ask me something?"

"Um… yeah," Light sighed. "What about my family? Are they _really_ dead?"

"You're father and mother are…"

"How did it happen?" Light's eyes were shining as he opened the door fully.

L thought for a moment about how to word this, "You're father was shot by one of Mello's henchmen and then had to deal with the explosion. Mello blew up the building they were in after he was shot. We rushed him to the hospital, but it was too late." L chuckled, "You begged your father to kill Mello. Guess you know how he got that scar."

"… An explosion…"

L nodded, "And your mother died of a drug overdose. I'm just hearing about this as well. Apparently she couldn't stand losing both you and her husband. She basically shoved every pill she could find down her throat."

Light shivered at the thought, "So you told them I died?"

L nodded, "Sayu is the reason why I told you about what you've forgotten. She believes you're still alive any wants to see you."

Light froze, "R-really?"

Light could hear the maniacal laughter in his ears. _That's perfect! I knew we shouldn't have killed off Sayu. I knew she'd be of some use to us._

Light's eyes lowered into a steady glare. He scanned the walls for some sort of sign. How could he fight something he couldn't see? _I told you to go away!_ Light's thoughts screamed for him.

_We were going to kill her when she got kidnapped. It was a trade. Her for the Death Note. We decided to let her live for our own sake._

_SHUT UP!_

"Light, are you alright?" L asked with caring solemn eyes.

_And _now _look._ _She pulled through!_ _She actually did something useful. Light you know you want your memories back, so why don't you just try to see her? Maybe afterwards we can finally be rid of L._

"I told you to shut up!" Light yelled turning and scanning the room. He spotted a pair of scissors of the nightstand. Light ran over grabbing the scissors and shoving them into in some random spot on his chest. He knew it was stupid, but he just wanted this thing dead. He felt blood pouring into his hand. Light pulled out the scissors dropping them as soon as they left his insides.

"Light," L rushed to Light. His side was bleeding profusely. L needed a tourniquet or something to stop the bleeding. L removed his shirt tying it around Light so it would soak up at least some of the blood. L took out his cell phone from his back pocket.

"Ryuzaki?" Watari's voice answered over the phone.

"Watari, L-Light stabbed himself," L's voice cracked. "I-I should've called an ambulance but- but I—"

"I'm on it," Watari said before hanging up.

L could feel tears stinging his eyes. "Why'd you do that? Do you want to die that badly?"

Light stared as L who was leaning over him. He could feel his tears fall and hit his neck. "R-Ryuzaki… I…"

_Nice try but I'm not dead idiot._ Light winced he failed. _Man, but that was a fantastic display of determination. Nice job Light. Maybe an attempt at suicide would've killed me. But I'm not part of you physically._

That's it! Maybe if he could stab himself in the head…

Light reached for the scissors. L kicked them out of the way. "Don't you even think about it!" L buried his face in his hands.

Ryuzaki was… crying. Why? Light wondered why he would be. He looked at his side and saw his blood already coming through L's shirt. He was trying to kill Kira… but Kira was him. So in order for Kira to die he would have to die too, right? Light didn't think it mattered much. Monsters needed to die anyway. But Ryuzaki was sad…

Light couldn't really feel anything. He felt numb aside from the stinging in his side. He could barely tell until a pair of arms picked him up and carried him onto a stretcher. Light felt something put over his face… a gasmask? Light breathed in the stale, cold oxygen. He would've been able to make out the tall hospital, but he was unconscious before he got into the ambulance.

Light opened his eyes. Well, shielded his eyes when he looked up at the bright lights. He was in a white room. When his eyes adjusted he felt cold wires sticking into him. He looked at his right arm being pumped with a strange red liquid. Where was he? Light looked to his left and saw his left arm the exact same way. Light spotted L sitting by the window sleeping. His eyes were swollen. Light could see that from his bed. Light stared to sit up followed by a stabbing pain in his side. He winced sinking back down into bed. I'm at the hospital?

Light tried to remember the past events. He remembered grabbing sharp object on the nightstand and forcing it into his side. He remembered the shock of pain it put him through. Light looked around the room as a man with dark brown hair appeared in the door way. He was wearing a long white lab coat. He smiled as he saw Light, "So you're awake? How do you feel?"

Light wanted to shout, "How do you think I feel? I just stabbed myself!" Light put on his best fake smile, "Fine."

"That's great," He said giving Light a shot filled with some sort of clear liquid into his right arm. "This'll make you a little sleepy."

Light could already feel his mind getting cloudy. "Is that… morphine?"

"Yeah…" He said some other things but Light was already asleep.

_Ryuzaki was sitting quietly on their bed reading. Light crawled beside him snuggling against Ryuzaki. "Ryuzaki…"_

_Light's eyes sparkled curiously as he lifted himself to L's lips. Light allowed L's tongue to roam along his mouth. Light moaned into the kiss as L threw his book on the floor. L pushed Light back onto bed. He felt Light's sides as he slowly started unbuttoning Light's shirt. L felt Light's bare chest. Light moaned as L started licking his clavicle and moved his hands to Light's pants playfully opening the button. Light's moans turned to screams as he felt a sharp pain in his side. He watched Ryuzaki as he drove the knife deeper into to him. Light felt the blood leaving him. L smiled and blinked revealing familiar red eyes. _

_Kira smiled up at Light. He twisted the knife slowly making Light squirm. He chuckled covering Light's mouth with his._

Light woke up screaming. He looked around the room. I was dark and empty. Light felt his tears mixing with his sweat. He was panting trying to forget everything. Light entered and disappeared as L entered the room. He saw Light sitting in the hospital bed.

"You're finally awake," L smiled sitting on the couch by the window. He noticed Light's startled expression. "What's wrong?"

"Ryuzaki… We were kissing… then there was b-blood… You s-stabbed me and… Kira…" Light gasped trying to finish his sentence. L embraced Light as Light started crying into his chest. "I'm sorry, Ryuzaki..."

L stroked Light's hair. "It's alright, Light. Why'd you stab yourself?"

"I-I think I'm possessed..."

L gave Light an apprehensive look.

"I know it sounds crazy... I keep hearing his voice. H-he keeps talking about such terrible things. He wants you dead and then he started talking about Sayu... I wanted him dead."

"Was it Kira?" L asked.

Light nodded, "It's not that I wanted to be dead, but Kira..."

"I understand," L said looking Light who was shaking.

"...There was blood everywhere."

L sighed, "It was just a nightmare. I won't let anything happen to you otherwise. You should go to sleep..."

"I've been asleep all day, Ryuzaki! A little sleepy, phff, that stupid morphine made me dog tired."

"It's just to get rid of the pain."

"Well it did that!" Light slumped on his pillow. "So how long have you been here?"

"All day. I'm not going to leave you here. I'd be too worried."

Light smiled, "Yeah, sorry again... Hey wait! What about Near, Matt, and Mello?"

"They were here. They didn't come sooner because I kind of told Matt and Mello to leave and Near was... playing."

"He sure plays for a long time seeing that he's pretty much a grown man."

L blushed but Light couldn't tell in the dim light. "I guess I should go tell the doctors you're feeling better." L got up, turned and started towards the door.

"Ryuzaki wait!" Light almost jolted out of bed.

L slowly turned around. "You can call me L you know?"

"Uh... L don't leave please."

L sighed returning to Light's side. He pulled up a chair and sat beside Light's bed. "What is it?"

"Can you stay with me tonight?"

"Don't I every night?"

Light held out his hand requesting L's. L tangled his fingers with Light's as He stroked his hand gently. "L I love you," Light muttered squeezing L's hand.

"You don't hate me? For lying to you, I mean."

"I could never hate Ryuzaki or L for that matter. You've done so much for me."

"I love you too, Light," Ryuzaki smiled. He laid his head on Light's forehead.

Light smiled making an attempt to wrap his arms around him, but failing. He laughed, "Sorry I can't return the sentiment."

L placed a soft kiss on Light's lips. "Light…"

"Ryuzaki, is it possible that we could… um, lay in bed… together?"

L tilted his head to the side. He crawled over Light and lay on his side. He placed his right arm under Light and the other hand was on Light's chest. He somehow maneuvered the tubes over him so he wasn't disturbing Light. Light snuggled up to L.

"Please don't ever do anything like this again Light," L pulled Light closer to his chest.

"I'm sorry…"

L kissed Light again. L licked along Light's lips requesting entrance. Light opened his mouth allowing L to explore the crevices of his mouth. Light gripped L's shirt that was quickly discarded on the floor. Light ran his hands along L smooth, pale chest only making L deepen the kiss. Light now realized two things: his chest was wrapped up and tubes were sticking in his nose. Light pulled away feeling the hard plastic that was blowing stale air into his nose.

L pulled down Light's hand, "Light." It was a warning tone.

"I don't need to be put on oxygen Ryuzaki!"

"It's L and don't do anything this is for your own good."

Light scowled at some random spot in the room. L cradled Light's chin turning his head back to him. He started kissing him again but only for a quick second. "I'm sorry it has to be like this."

Light rested his head on L's chest. "I love you, L."

L kissed Light's head, "I love you, Light."

L heard Light's shallow breaths signifying that Light was asleep. L laid there stroking Light's head. He was asking himself about Kira. If Kira lead Light to this, what else would he do? And what about Sayu? What plans did he have for her?

L could swear he heard laughing which only made him shiver…

**Okay... So Light stabbed himself :( He's not dead though :) and then L kisses him :D but it doesn't result in lemons . Oh yeah and Kira's back... O.O **

**lolz random summary at the end. Poor Matt and Mello had to leave :(**

**So what happened to them while Light and L were in this situation?**

**Mello: I'll kick L's fuckin' ass. *(Punches wall)***

**Matt: C'mon Mels it's not so bad. He's just frustrated. *(Continues to play Zelda)**

**Mello: The hell he is! I'm gonna-**

***(ALUMINA BY NIGHTMARE STARTS PLAYING RANDOMLY)***

**Mello:*(Picks up phone)* Hello?... Oh Watari... Yes we're not doing anything... *(Hangs up)* HAHAHAHAHAHA! THAT FUCKIN' IDIOT!**

**Matt: ?... What is it?**

**Mello: That idiot stabbed himself (Continues laughing)**

**Matt: L?**

**Mello: No Light...**

**MxM: HAHAHAHAHAA!**


	7. Chapter 7

Light was in the hospital for about a week. He had to get enough blood in him after what he'd lost. Of course L had to make sure that Light was fully healed. The scarring process would take some time.

It was mid-afternoon when Light got out of the hospital. Light was able to walk, but he was still brought outside in a wheelchair. Light protested but complied with both the doctors and L's wishes. His arms were crossed over his chest as he scowled. He felt like a kid while being lead out of the hospital. L was pushing him out the doors as Light quickly jumped out of the uncomfortable chair as soon as he was outside.

L rolled his eyes as he went back inside to return the chair to one of the nurses. Light remained where he was staring at L with big childlike eyes. "Hey Ryuzaki guess what?"

"What?" L said exiting the hospital.

"I'm going home today!" Light yelled excitedly.

"Me too," L said blankly.

"Well?" Light muttered with his arms outstretched, "Aren't you excited?"

"Why should I be excited about going back to the place I live in? It's only been a week and it's not like it's going anywhere."

"A week and two days," Light corrected before gripping L's arm, "and we're finally out of that horrible place."

"This place is here to protect the people in the area from injuries and illness."

"Those people had no emotions," Light's hair fell in front of his face hiding his expression. "They lied most of the time and their smiles were fake."

Light knew how people hid their emotions. He was able to create the best truthful lie and see through anyone's lies… except L's.

L was pondering Light's remark when his thoughts were broken by Light's voice. "Come on Ryuzaki!" Light yelled from the limousine. Watari stood holding the door open for him. "Thank you Watari," L muttered before sinking into the car.

"Light, I told you to call me L," L said as they pulled out of the hospital parking lot.

Light blushed as he smiled weakly at L. "Sorry, I'm so used to Ryuzaki it doesn't even come to my mind that you have a different name."

"It's fine. I'd rather you call me L, but if you insist on Ryuzaki then I am content with that."

Light chewed his bottom lip trying to figure out what l was thinking. He wanted to somehow cheer up the detective. "Ryuzaki, maybe we could work out a system."

L arched an invisible eyebrow, "System?"

Light nodded, "I'll call you Ryuzaki for everyday and when we're out in public. Lawliet when I'm angry at you. And I'll call you L for whenever I'm happy." Light pushed himself closer to L so he could brush their lips together. He trailed kisses along L's cheek till he got to his ear. "Are you happy with that L?" Light breathed into L's ear.

L shuddered at his own name. "You live to tease me don't you? That part of you still hasn't changed."

Light rested his head on L's shoulder. "I'm not teasing you L. I just wanted to know if you were happy with that. I'm sorry for all the trouble I've caused you."

"You're no trouble Light."

"Now you're lying."

"I'm being serious," L said staring out of the window.

Light sighed sitting back against the leather seats. "So, what happens now?" Light closed his eyes against the motion of the car.

"What do you mean," L asked never taking his eyes from the window.

Light entwined his fingers with L's, whose hand was resting on his knee. "We're going to be separated." Light's emotion was hidden by his bangs. L was searching his face for some sort of emotion. "Once Sayu realizes I'm alive she'll want me to stay with her, right? I suspect you haven't told her I'm Kira otherwise she wouldn't be asking for me."

L squeezed Light's hand, "She can't make you do anything you don't want to. I promise I'll be with you every step of the way."

"Promise?"

L gave Light a peck on the cheek, "I promise."

Light gave him a smile that didn't reach his eyes. When they stopped Light jumped out of the car not waiting for Watari. "I missed you home!" Light shouted loudly at the tall manor.

"What's the point in shouting, Light?" L said after immerging from the limousine. "It's not going to respond back."

"It doesn't have to," Light smiled happily at L. "I know it missed me."

L blushed slightly not enough to be noticed, but still blushed at the thought. "You're right. I would've missed you, Light."

Light's heart started pounding, but remained the same in front of the detective. He ignored the constant shouts coming from the back of his mind. He pulled L with him, "C'mon Ryuzaki. Let's go see Uncle Mello."

When they opened the door Mello was sitting on the stairs with his head in his hands. Matt was beside him comforting him with words as he played Zelda on his DS. Mello jumped up when he heard the door click.

Mello ran down some of the stairs and wrapped his arms around Light. "You idiot what the hell were you thinking?" Light could make out the faint sobs that everyone else couldn't.

Matt sighed after pausing his game. He stood up and put the black device in the pockets of his dark, striped jeans. "Sheesh Mello, don't tackle someone who just got out of the hospital... If you haven't guessed already, Light, he was worried about you." Matt pulled Mello off Light. "How are you feeling?"

"Great! I was getting home sick." Light scanned the familiar walls as if he hadn't been there in years.

Matt and Mello swapped worried looks. They changed to smiles. "We're just glad you're okay," Mello said.

"Yeah you gave us all quite a scare. Even Near was... sulking."

Light laughed, "Near, sulking? I'd like to see that."

"Sorry, he, Linder, and Gevanni all left a few days ago. Me and Mello have to get going too. We've stayed here longer than we expected to. We're all ready. We just wanted to say good bye before we left."

"But we didn't get to do anything special or anything!" Light shouted.

"Sorry kiddo," Mello said messing up Light's hair. "Maybe we can do something next time."

"But I thought you were gonna take me to see Sayu?"

"We have to settle on a date before we do anything, Light." L muttered stepping towards the steps. He hadn't slept in a week and was beginning to remember his old habit of insomnia. He wouldn't sleep for weeks on end, and when he did sleep. It'd only be for a few hours.

Mello smiled slyly at Light, "Don't fuck yourself up too bad. I don't want to spend my next visit with you in a hospital."

Light smiled at both of them as they both left the house. Light stared at the door momentarily before turning back to L. L was already making his way up the stair to examine what the boys left behind.

"They love each other, don't they?"

L looked at Light who had turned back to the door. "Matt and Mello? I suppose they do..."

"I've never seen them apart once. They're always together... side by side..."

L sighed walking back down the stairs and taking Light's hand. He pulled Light along with him. "Yes, they're always together, but isn't that how lovers ought to be?"

Light's eyes started to moisten as he tried to hide his expression. "I-I suppose so..."

L looked back at Light's sad expression. "What is it, Light?"

Light stared into L's eyes. He shook his head furiously, "N-nothing."

"Sorry about the whole 'lovers' thing. I forgot you're still learning," L smiled turning back around to enter into their room.

Light pulled his hand away making L stare at the shaken boy. "I-it's not that R-Ryuzaki." Light sat in his chair aimlessly staring out the window in hopes to avoid the detectives analytical stare. "It's just... I'm kind of jealous."

"Light," L chuckled slightly, "we haven't even made love yet, and you're already getting jealous of other couples?"

Light's cheeks had a red haze over them. "I-I, uh..."

L locked his lips with Light's. "It's alright. I'm glad you're jealous, but their problems are different from ours." L ran his fingers through Light's caramel hair.

"L... can we...umm..." Light was having trouble forming the words, but L already knew what he was going to ask.

"Light you're not ready for that!"

"How do you know? You just think I can't fully trust my feelings because I don't have my memories back. Ryuzaki, I know what I want."

"It's not about what you want," L said flatly. "Any day you would've said that and I would've wisped you away to the bed and had my way with you all night long." Light's whole face started to turn red as L realized he'd just said that out loud. His cheeks had a slight pink tint to them, "H-however, you're injured, and therefore not able to handle that kind of pleasure. You'll have to wait till you're fully healed."

Light crossed his arms angrily, "So Lawliet is going to play nasty tricks on me..."

L kissed Light again, "Don't be angry. I'm just looking out for you."

Light scoffed at the comment, "Gee, thanks."

L smiled, "Believe me, I want this as much as you do." L nuzzled Light's neck leaving behind small kisses along the collar bone and clavicle. "Forgive me?"

Light tried to look angry, but couldn't hide the fact that he loved L's simple touches. He stretched out his neck giving L more room to trail his kisses. "I f-forgive you."

"That's a good boy," L whispered in Light's ear. L stood up, "Do you want to eat dinner? I'm craving something sweet."

Light stood up, "C'mon let's go."

Once in the kitchen Light and L headed directly to the refrigerator. They scanned the food in hopes of finding something. L pulled out some type of cake he hadn't seen before. His eyes stared in curiosity. Light couldn't see anything that really interested his tastes. Light closed the refrigerator and scanned the countertops.

There was an apple… Light grabbed it and sat beside L on the table.

"Someone must've fixed the tables and chairs back into place. I'll have to call and thank Watari later."

Light sighed looking sadly at the red fruit. For some reason the apple held some sort of memory. Light felt like he could reminiscence about the fruit, but of course that was impossibly. He playfully tossed it in the air only to catch in his hand. There was something strangely familiar about the fruit.

"Do you think we can take some apples back to Ryuk when we visit Sayu?" Light bit into the apple savoring the sweet juices that came from it.

L froze, "Light do you know who Ryuk is?"

Light took another bite of his apple, "Not really, but I remember the name. Something tells me he ate a lot of apples. I think we should bring him some."

L thought up a quick lie, "Ryuk's dead."

Light's eyes slumped, "oh… Did I—"

"No Ruyk got in a car accident." L sighed in relief when he knew Light bought the story. "Hey Light, what do you think about seeing Sayu on your birthday? It's only a few months away and I think it would be nice… I have some selfish reason for it as well."

"And what would that be?"

"I want to celebrate Christmas with Light."

Light smiled, "It'll kind of be like my first Christmas. I can't remember celebrating anything with my family. I-I want to celebrate it with you, Ryuzaki."

L felt himself blushing as he continued, "Sayu is currently residing at your old house. She wouldn't let anyone have it unless she found you. I'm afraid Sayu has undergone some mental trauma from the kidnapping—"

"Kidnapping? By who? Is she all right?"

"I already told you she has some mental trauma." L sighed, "Mello kidnapped her in order to get one of the notebooks."

"So much war over such a small item." Light sighed throwing away his apple. "I'm going to bed feel free to join me at anytime."

L smiled as he watched Light leave the room. He was in no hurry to finish his cake. _So the bonds can be loosened? How is it that Light remembered Ryuk? Well not really Ryuk, but his name nonetheless. Does this mean his memories are returning to him, or was that just something Kira planted into his mind? Speaking of Kira where is he?_ L hadn't seen the cat in quite some time. It didn't really worry him. It just gave him more questions. L sat in his own thought munching on his cake.

**ehh... it's so short. :( *sigh* oh well. I'm kind of nervous about them meeting Sayu. IDK y, though? but anyway thanx to people who are reviewing. I don't think I have to put i accept anonymous review up, but i do, so HA! K but tell me what you think should happen next. I'm just going to see what happens. I love critisism and support b/c you can build off of each of them. SO TELL ME WHAT YOU THINK SHOULD HAPPEN!**

**It can be something totally random like Light pouncing on L and saying "I want you NOW!"lolz, but I'm going to take my time with lemons. I don't want them to just randomly start having sex... NO! something has to spark it. That's just how I am. I know lame, right?**

**But anyway, Give me some ideas. Thanks for reading! 3**


	8. Chapter 8

**Sorry 4 the long wait. I've got so much crap going on, but I repaid you all with LEMONS! lolz. I'm sleepy :( so at the beginning if your confuzed and don't read ahaed then I'll tell you this is Light's POV writing in a journal. URGH! SO SHORT . but I've got more in store 4 Christmas hee-hee...**

_It's Christmas Eve... It's really funny how time flies. My first Christmas. It seems really weird and foreign. I wonder how me and my family celebrated Christmas?_

_Oh yeah! I haven't explained myself fully yet, have I? I'm sorry. I haven't really done this before... or at least I don't think I have._

_Anyway, Ryuzaki gave me a journal. It's an early Christmas present. He says it's to write down my thoughts and feelings about everything I'm feeling. I have a feeling he's going to read it when I'm asleep. He's been really worried about me and Kira (My evil half) especially after what happened to Kira (Cat)._

_We found the cat torn to shreds. There were still patches of brown fur still clinging to the small chunks of muscles. A few of the bones were broken in the legs. I could hear that laughing in my ears ringing loudly. I fainted._

_I think that's the part that scared Ryuzaki the most. I'm not sure what's going on in his head. He's been pretty distant since it happened. Kira died (or was found) about three weeks ago. It really sucks._

_My scar completely healed after about two weeks. Well, according to Ryuzaki. In my opinion it healed in less than a week, but I just listen to Ryuzaki. I've got a pink scar that'll be there for the rest of my life. It makes me laugh every time I think about it. He finally touched me!_

_Well, Ryuzaki says it's not sex, but it's close. We've been giving each other hand jobs, which makes me wonder what sex really is. It must feel really good if it's better than that. It's funny when Ryuzaki touches me my heart starts pounding. I always end up wanting more... but I'm not sure what to do. I guess I'll just have to wait for Ryuzaki. _

_Okay let's get off this subject. Like I wrote before, it's Christmas Eve! Ryuzaki and I kind of had an argument which is why I'm writing when I am. I'll get to that later._

_Ryuzaki took me to the park that wasn't far from the house. The ducks weren't there this time, but the pond was frozen solid! It was beautiful. Everything was white because of the snow. This is the first time, that I remember, seeing snow. I'm not sure if I like it or not. It's cold and wet but soft. I could never get enough of the scenery._

_There were people walking on the iced pond. They went so fast they looked like they were flying! I was about to tell Ryuzaki when he pulled out these weird shoes. They looked just like regular shoes, but these had a long piece of metal that looked like a large razor blade that trailed along the middle of the shoes soles and heel. _

_The next thing I knew, Ryuzaki, and I, had put the weird shoes on, against my will, and we were stepping onto the ice. It was impossible to stand in the shoes. They were stiff and made my legs shake. When we were on the ice it just made everything worse. The ice was slick and within my first step I fell. Well I didn't really fall. Ryuzaki caught me. He showed the basic footwork of 'skating' and how to keep my balance, but it was really hard. After a while I was able to stand on my own two feet and Ryuzaki left my side to skate at his own pace for a while._

_Ryuzaki was amazing! He glided over the ice like it was nothing. I half expected wings to emerge from him and he would begin to take off. He looked so peaceful. I couldn't help but watch him. So much so that I forgot to turn on the ice and ran into the snowy bank. It didn't hurt, but it wasn't the best feeling in the world. I felt the ice slip under my pants. It left me with an uncomfortable feeling._

_I was freezing. I don't know but my heart skipped a beat when Ryuzaki make a small chuckle when I shook the snow out of my hair. We skated for hours. I have no idea how long we were outside. My face felt numb and my lips started chapping._

_We walked home and L surprised me by taking a different route home. I was about to ask Ryuzaki where we were until he pushed me against a wall on a deserted street and kissed me. My skin was instantly heated. It felt so good, but it was over way too fast. We walked back home hand-in-hand._

_Everything's so quiet now. I snuck into the living room. I doubt Ryuzaki even knows I know about this place. It's beyond the door under the staircase. Nobody really recognizes it, but I come here to get my thought's in order and now to write._

_I don't understand why we fight so much. I think Ryuzaki misses the old Light. I wish there was some way I could be more like him. I wish I could remember... maybe I'll pick up a few things when I meet Sayu._

_Anyway, let's get back to the fact that it's Christmas Eve! I'm excited. I've had my head filled with sugar plums and reindeer and peace and love. I've been told that people exchange gifts on Christmas, so I should probably get him something. I have to get Watari to help me!_

* * *

L smiled at the page of the frantic Light's thoughts. It made him happy to read over his thoughts after certain days to let him know how Light felt. It was a clever thing for him to do. He couldn't help but stay curious about the childlike friend. I wonder if he got in touch with Watari?

L turned the page to see if there was more to read. He continued...

* * *

_I got Ryuzaki a Christmas present! Watari is the best. I completely misjudged him. I don't think Ryuzaki will like it, but I trust Watari's judgment. After all, he did raise him._

_I wonder if Watari feels as protective of me as Ryuzaki? I feel that way. I feel like he's a father figure. I wonder if that's how he sees it?_

_Oh yeah! Uncle Near called. He said he, Matt and Mello were coming tomorrow! They're going to surprise Ryuzaki! I love this holiday! I want to run up stairs and kiss Ryuzaki. I bet he's still mad at me. _

_Ryuzaki got made because I made a comment about his emotions. He doesn't really show any. He tries, but I want get him out of that shell he's built around himself. I love him so mu_

* * *

There was a long line that cut down to the bottom of the page. L looked up at Light who was now sleeping peacefully on the red couch. L looked around the room searching for something.

The living room was deck out in all kinds of Christmas decorations. There was a giant, decorated tree in the far left corner. Gifts piled underneath it. A fire was burning in the fireplace beside L as he scanned the stockings of the mantel piece. They were stuffed with all kinds of unknown treats that he longed for.

L returned his gaze to Light. He knew he would be tempted by the sweets all night. He was sure there weren't any cameras in the room. He bit his thumb hastily and sighed in defeat. He walked over to the couch placing a hand on Light's cheek. Light moved towards the hand nuzzling it sleepily.

L hovered over light's parted lips before letting his tongue slip into his mouth. Light's eyes shot open as he felt familiar movements of the detectives tongue. L slowly moved his hand down Light's chest unbuttoning his shirt along the way.

Light moaned into the kiss pulling L on top of him. L brushed Light's chest before finding one of his nipples and twisting it into a hardened nub. Light squirmed until he finally broke the kiss.

"What are you doing, L?" Light's cheeks had a hazy pink line across them.

"Just watch," L said licking Light's neck and leaving small marks on his clavicle. Light gripped L's arms pulling at the fabric of his shirt. L continued licking down Light's chest making sure to pause and suck on Light's now hardened nipples. His skin was smooth and tasted salty but also sweet wanted more.

L unzipped Light's pants only revealing his arousal further. L licked the base of Light's hardening erection and led his tongue towards the tip. Light shivered when he felt L's cold breath on his growing arousal.

L took in the tip of Light's cock into his mouth sucking on it. Light gasped arching his back. L took all of Light into his mouth this time making no mistake of running his tongue along every inch of his erection. Light gripped L's hair holding back the moans he desperately tried to conceal.

L hummed sending vibrations through Light. Light's breathing quickened. He started to thrust into L's mouth forcing himself deeper into the engulfing heat of the detectives mouth. L released Light from his mouth panting. He continued to lick Light's erection knowing he was close to his release.

L took all of Light into him on last time in a sudden, fast moment. Light let out a strangled cry shouting L's name. L sucked Light hard now letting Light's release coat the inside of his mouth. He swallowed the last of the salty fluids and fixed Light's clothes back the way they were.

Light's head was buried into the cushions of the couch as he tried to catch his breath. He looked back at L sleepily. "L..." Light ran his fingers through L's hair.

"I'm sorry for getting angry earlier. Forgive me?"

Light nodded closing his eyes, "Always L, always."

L maneuvered himself so that Light was now laying on top of him. Light nuzzled L's neck trailing small tired kisses along his long, slender neck. L rested between the couch cushions and Light. He gently stroked his hair. He kissed the top of Light's head, "Get some sleep. We've got a lot of work to do tomorrow."

Light snuggled closer to L. "I love you L..." He whispered softly before falling asleep.

"I love you too, Light," He smiled at the sleeping teen in his arms. Light looked so innocent. L snuggled deeper into the cushions staring at Light before he, too, fell asleep.


	9. Chapter 9

"It looks like Goldilocks is sleeping with the big bad wolf," Mello smiled as Matt chuckled behind him.

Lawliet woke up scowling when he heard their laughter.

"You confused the stories," Near said. "Goldilocks was involved with bears, remember?"

Mello groaned, "Why do you have to be such a smartass?"

"Mello language," L sighed looking back at Light who was still sleeping. "And keep it down. Light's trying to sleep."

L got off the couch without waking Light. He opened his arms, "Merry Christmas, boys."

Matt, Mello and Near ran up and hugged L tight. "Happy Christmas, L," They all chimed.

"Near, you didn't bring Gevanni or Linder with you?" L asked scanning the room for any broken and/or missing items.

"Linder had another case to work with and Gevanni is outside." Near twirled his white hair, "Light seems to be very tired."

Mello wrapped an arm around Near's shoulder, "Yeah. I wonder what he and L were doing last night."

L rolled his eyes, "We're both fully clothed Mello. I hate how you're determined to see if we're lovers or not."

All three boys tilted their heads, "Aren't you?"

L blushed slightly, "Get out of here!"

"Wait, we wanted to wake Light up!" Matt whined.

L sighed in defeat taking a seat that was diagonal to the couch. He pulled his knees up to his chest and reclined his head back on the chair.

"Wake up, dip shit!" Mello yelled at the top of his lungs.

"Mello," L warned glaring at him.

Light sleepily opened his eyes."Uncle Mello!" Light yelled wrapping his arms around Mello's neck.

"Yeah, yeah Merry Christmas," He replied rubbing Light's head.

"You guys got here safely?"

"We're here, aren't we?"

Light smiled, "Wow I had no idea you'd be here so early."

"Early? It's almost 15:35."

Light's eyes widened, "What! Ryuzaki, why'd you let me sleep so late?"

"I'm just getting up myself," L rubbed his eyes sleepily.

"Yeah, we were wondering what was making you so tired," Mello said sitting next to Light. Light's cheeks turned a deep red. Mello laughed, "See? I told you Light was uke. The uke is always the dead giveaway."

"Giveaway?" L asked based on Mello's choice of words.

"Yeah. They give it away is him and his lover has _done anything."_

L smiled, "So are you implying that you're uke, Mello?"

Mello blushed this time. "S-shut up."

Light had a deep confusing look on his face. "Well that doesn't matter. It's the holidays isn't it? The time for lovers to be together."

Everyone paused.

"I didn't think Light would come out directly like this." Near said sitting in front of the fireplace. "With that statement we know that you two are definitely lovers."

L studied Light who hadn't realized what he'd done. He sighed getting out of his chair and sitting next to Light. He placed his hand on Light's shoulder. "Fine. I knew you'd figure out sooner or later. I love Light and want to make him happy." Light's heart started pounding. "I don't see why you're making such a big deal about this. Mello, I know you and Matt have been seeing each other for years now. I wish you'd go public already. Near, I know you're with Gevanni and Linder. In my own opinion you should just pick one."

"I'm with Gevanni," Near said blankly staring into the fireplace. There was no fire burning, but the ashes fascinated him. "Linder simply follows." He shrugged off the statement as if it were nothing.

"We wanted to tell you," Matt said rubbing the back of his head. "We just didn't know how to tell it to you," Matt had a pink haze over his cheeks.

Light looked questioning at L, "Uke is basically the girl in a gay relationship."

"Oh, so me and Mello are ukes? So, what are you."

Matt puffed out his chest with a cheesy grin on his face, "We're semes."

"So semes are the male?" Light chuckled, "What about you Near?"

Near scoffed, "It's obvious I'm seme. That's why I'm the only one who's allowed to give out punishments."

"And Watari is the father of this twisted family," L shook his head slightly.

Matt and Mello playfully stuck their tongues out at him. "C'mon it's Christmas. Let's celebrate," Mello smiled leaning towards L.

"Right," L sighed and stood up. "I'm going to check on Watari. If things go as expected he's making dinner. Near I'll tell Gevanni to come in here."

He sighed unemotionally, "That's fine."

L walked to the door and entered the dimly lit hallway. He left out of the door at the very end of the hall. Gevanni was standing poised and skilled by the door. "You may come in now, Gevanni."

Gevanni nodded as he entered the hallway. L walked to the kitchen seeing Watari working at stove. "Merry Christmas, Ryuzaki."

"Merry Christmas Watari. Thank you for preparing dinner."

"It's nothing Ryuzaki. I want to do this."

L watched the elder stir some mixture in a pan. He watched Watari for about ten minutes until Watari took notice of him. "Do you want something, Ryuzaki?"

"I was just wondering if you would join us. We're going to open presents, but if you're busy then you don't have to."

Watari wiped his hands on the apron that was tied around his waist. He untied it and placed it over a chair. "I just need to let this simmer. I've got time."

L and Watari walked into the room.

Mello and Matt were singing loudly. They heard them half way down the hall way.

"Dawn we now our gay apparel!" Mello sang loudly, "Doesn't get any gayer than this, eh, Matty?" Mello was sitting with Matt leaning into his chest on the couch.

Matt rolled his eyes, but continued to play his DS. "If you're going to sing it like that I'll shove my DS up your ass."

Mello stroked Matt's hair. He thought the threat was amusing.

Near was twirling his hair as he and Gevanni were talking amongst themselves. He had a small robot that he kept probing with his eyes.

Light was sitting in the back corner taking in all the Christmas decorations and writing in his notebook. There was some magical, childlike wonder to it all. Light's heart skipped a beat when he saw L. It always did that, but Light couldn't help but love the feeling.

Watari looked happier as well. His family was gathered together. He loved each and every one of them.

"Alright let's get started everyone," L said making everyone's ears perk up.

L went to the tree and pulled out a big box with colorful red and green paper. He checked the name, "Mello."

Mello jumped off the couch pushing Matt off it as he went. He grabbed the box from L tearing through it. Mello's eyes sparkled, "A chocolate fountain! Fuck yeah!" Mello got out a pocket knife that was tucked away in his left boot and started cutting at the tape.

"Mello I think you should wait before you open that," Matt said rubbing his head.

"This one is for you, Matt," L said handing him a small, flat, rectangular box with the same type of paper over them. Matt knew automatically what it was and tore open the paper. "Awesome, Kingdom Hearts!"

Mello rolled his eyes, "I thought you had all the Kingdom Hearts. "

"This is the newest one, 358/2 days."

Mello thought for a moment. "So you'll have to battle for 178 levels? You'll beat it easy."

Matt rolled his eyes ignoring Mello. Matt turned it over seeing the exact same game only in a different package. "You got me the DS version too?"

"We didn't know which you'd prefer," L said.

Matt quickly opened the game and shoved it into his DS.

"I thought you said we should wait before we open them?"

"For you, yeah. I'm playing this game!" Matt pushed the "power" button.

Mello tackled him, "How the fuck did you come up with that logic?"

Matt started twisting around trying to get out from underneath Mello's hold. "Get off me, Mells!"

"Not until I get what I want." Mello pinned Matt's arms above his head.

"Fuck you," Matt said squirming around.

Mello grabbed Matt's DS smiling in triumph as he turned it off. He laughed heartily as he sat on the couch and stuffed the DS in his pants.

"I'm not afraid to get it," Matt said staring at the rectangular bulge in Mello's tight pants.

"We're with family, Matty. I'll let you get it later," Mello smiled sinisterly.

L rolled his eyes, "You don't have to act like children."

Matt let his face fall into his hands. He let out fake sobs, "Mello's being mean to me!"

L rolled his eyes as he handed a box to Near and a box to Gevanni. The box looked bigger than Near when he sat down. Gevanni's box was about the size of his hand.

Near pulled back the colorful paper. He slight smiled and his eyes sparkled as he spied the giant Optimus Prime Transformer.

Gevanni opened his box and pulled out two slips of paper. Light suspected they must be for a trip or something. There was something else in the box that made Gevanni's eyes sparkle. A very small ship-in-a-bottle. He put the tickets back in the box. "Thank you, L."

L nodded his head, "Don't mention it." He turned to whisper something in Watari's ear that was inaudible to everyone else. Light eyed everyone who was smiling as they admired their things. He went back to writing.

Light was startled when L held the box in front of him. "You didn't have to get me anything else, L."

"I know, but I _wanted _to," L said nudging Light with the box.

It was a little smaller than L's hand, so Light was hoping it didn't cost as much as he thought. Light nervously unwrapped the box. It was a watch. It looked pretty expensive. The watch reflected Lights surprised expression.

"You were always so punctual. I thought you would like it."

"H-how much did this cost?"

"Don't worry about it. It's a gift. Take it, or I will be sad."

Light couldn't fight that logic. He put on the watch admiring it with his eyes.

"Here it is!" Mello yelled. He'd gotten into his stocking finding the chocolate bars L and Watari placed in there before hand. "Thank you Santa!" He dug into the wrapping biting hungrily into the chocolate.

"Mello," Watari and L scowled in unison.

"What? I hate waiting," Mello said biting into his chocolate.

Watari looked towards Light. "Oh right," Light said jumping off of the floor and leaving the room. He came back with a large bundle he hid behind his back. "Sorry it's not wrapped."

Light pulled the stuffed panda from behind his back. He was blushing as he presented the plush toy to L. The panda wasn't fat. It flopped over like it lost a lot of stuffing. It had deep blank eyes like L's. "I-it reminded me of you, s-so me and Watari got it..."

L grabbed the bear and petted it as he studied it. "Thank you," He said not taking his eyes off of the creature.

"I have to get back to the food now," Watari said as he got to the door.

"Watari, take what I said into consideration."

Watari nodded before leaving.

"What you tell him L?" Light asked sitting back in his corner and gathering his notebook.

"I'm telling him to consider retiring, but he wants to continue to help me." L sat next to Light pulling Light's head into his chest. He stroked it gently.

* * *

Dinner was amazing, like always when Watari cooked. They all were together that evening, which was a rarity in and of itself. Afterwards Watari lead them into a large open space just beyond the dining room.

L was surprised by how little he knew about his own house. The room was _literally_ a ballroom. There was a giant window that revealed the full moon outside that shined on the snowy earth. The room was an enormous dance floor with a stereo shoved against the wall they were facing as they entered the room.

Watari left the boys in the room. Mello smiled as everyone gave apprehensive looks.

"Hey Matt, dance with me," Mello smiled as he pushed his goggles up on his head.

"We don't have any music," Matt muttered trying to hide the blush on his cheeks.

"I've got it covered," Mello pulled out a CD randomly from an invisible pocket on his vest.

"I hate it how you have so many items with you when you're hardly wearing anything."

Mello brushed him off as he started searching through the songs. He was wearing his usual leather that was low cut revealing a little of his stomach and showing off his arms. His tight pants hugged him a little _too_ well, but Matt couldn't complain. It's because of him Mello dressed like that.

"I think that's a good idea," Near said clutching the sleeve of Gevanni's suit.

Gevanni hardly spoke up when he was at the detective's house. He wasn't fully sold on Light's "transformation". He'd stay contently by Near's side.

"Do you want to dance to a Christmas song?" Mello snapped everyone from their thoughts.

"Let me hear it," L said.

Loud upbeat music came from the speakers. '_Ra pa pom, ra pa pom..' _L was trying to figure out the song. It seemed harmless. '_Light me up put me on top, let's falalalalalalala...'_

L glared at Mello. Aside from the fact that it was a Lady Gaga song he intentionally played that song. It was a direct attack at L and Light. The fact that the first word was 'light' and then the whole 'me on top' thing made L blush. Mello was smirking at him.

"Please choose a different song," L groaned.

Mello sighed, "Okay, but I'm not changing this one."

Mello pulled Matt to his arms so they would dance closer to the stereo. Near and Gevanni danced in the middle of the room. L and Light stood next to each other nervously in front of the window.

"You two better dance," Mello said as he pressed 'Play'.

'_Let's have some fun this beat is sick I wanna take a ride on your disco stick…'_

Matt and Mello's legs were intertwined as they pressed themselves close together. They started grinding into each other's inner thighs.

Gevanni and Near got into a spooning position that looked awkward considering their difference in size. They moved against each other, Gevanni grinding his ass into Near's inner thigh.

'_Let's have some fun this beat is sick I wanna take a ride on your disco stick…'_

L cursed internally. Light was studying everyone's dancing. Mello shot L a dirty look.

L sighed pulling Light to him intertwining their legs as Mello and Matt were doing.

'_I wanna kiss you, but if I do than I might miss you, babe...'_

"You have to move when you dance, L," Mello said in an annoyed tone.

L gave him a defiant look.

"Dance, or I'm kickin' your ass."

L sigh grinding against Light making him gasp at the surprising contact. Light gripped L's arms. L wasn't paying attention since he was annoyed, but soon calmed down when he saw Light's face.

_'hold me and love me just wanna touch you for a minute. Baby three seconds is enough for my heart to quit it.'_

Light was blushing. He clenched his teeth trying to hold back the groans that were trying to escape his lips. L slowed down knowing what Light must be feeling since he felt the exact same thing. He could feel Light growing each time their hips brushed together. L could feel himself getting hard as well and their growing erections were getting harder to deny the longer they moved together.

_'Let's play a love game, play a love game. Do ya' want love? Do ya' want fame? Are you in the game? Das la love game.'_

L wasn't sure how much more he and Light could take. Each little touch was filled with pleasure, but of course it wasn't like they could do anything. Everyone was in the same room and Watari was probably monitoring them with cameras or something.

_'I'm on a mission, and it involves some heavy touchin', yeah. You've indicated your interest. I'm educated in sex, yes. And now I want it bad, want it bad. A love game, a love game...'_

The music wasn't helping either.

They continued their little dance. Light made short gasps as his breath caught when he'd get air.

'_I can see you standing there across there across the room with a smile on your mouth and your hands on your (huh!)'_

This was torture. Light was picking up on L's discomfort. He was clutching L's shirt digging his nails into it. He gave L a pleading look and breathed his name against L's ear. L shivered as he looked at Light. The whispered hadn't been loud enough for anyone except for him to hear.

"Pretend to fall asleep," L whispered in Light's ear. "Don't ask any questions just do it."

Light nestled his head in the crook of L's neck letting his eyes slowly shut. Light fell limp in L's arms. L sweeped him up bridal style, "Light?" L shook Light who only kept his eyes closed.

"If he's tired he can go to bed," Mello said. "Don't feel obligated to stay here because of us."

L wanted to kick him, but instead walked towards the door. "Thank you." L walked Light out of the room and to the front of the stairs until he was certain they weren't around. "Light?" he whispered.

Light opened one eye to show he was still away. It shimmered lustfully. L captured light's lips with his making no hesitation to part Light's lips. He explored the depths of Light's mouth with his tongue as he tried to walk up the steps. He tripped on the final step making him fall on top of Light. That earned a moan from Light as he tugged on L's shirt. L was already unbuttoning light's shirt. They froze when they thought they heard a noise.

Light wrapped his arms around L's neck and breathed. "This isn't going to work is it?"

L rose to his feet pulling Light up with him. They walked hand in hand until they reached their room. L locked the door behind them once they were inside.

Light took off his watch and set it on the night stand. L looked at him curiously. "I don't want to get it dirty. I just got it!"

L rolled his eyes smirking as he pulled Light to his chest. "As long as I get to take this off," L pulled at Light's shirt untucking it from his pants as he did so. I was already unbuttoned so all he had to do was shrug it off Light's shoulders.

They locked together in another deep kiss letting each other explore their mouths. Light tugged on l's shirt that was quickly discarded on the floor. L ran his hands along Light's chest letting it graze on his stomach. He soon found a nipple and squeezed turning it into a hardened, pink nub. Light gasped but kept his lips on L's.

L, finally, pushed Light onto the bed hovering over top of him. Light whimpered from the lost contact. L stretched himself on top of Light. He twirled one of the auburn locks with his finger, "Tell me what it is you want, Light."

Light had a pink haze over his cheeks. "You know what it is I want, L." That didn't get a reply. Light sighed, "I want you."

L smiled slightly. "It's going to hurt you know. I'll have to prepare you."

Light gulped, but nodded. "Do whatever you want to me."

L smirked, _Poor choice in words Light Yagami._ He fished around in the drawer on the night stand. He pulled out a small bottle with a spout.

Light eyed the bottle curiously. "It won't hurt too much, will it?"

L laid himself on Light giving him a quick kiss. "I promise I'll be as gentle as possible."

Light nodded kissing L's neck. "Thank you."

L started removing Light's pants. "You're sure you don't want me to do anything for you?" Light asked.

"Don't be nervous, Light. It'll be fine."

Light flinched when he was completely naked. He shivered at the cool air in the room.

L ran his hands along light's stomach making slight brushes along his skin. He slowly stepped out of his pants. Light couldn't help but stare. L was _big. _Light knew that he was beyond average size, but L was… well bigger than expected. He brushed the thoughts away when he saw L coating his fingers in the liquid from the bottle.

L lifted Light's hips slightly letting his legs rest on his shoulders. L inserted one finger into Light's exposed entrance. Light tensed tightening his muscles around L's finger. L wiggled it slowly before inserting a second finger. Light gasped feeling the intruding fingers enter him. L started to scissor his fingers before adding a third.

"God!" Light breathed, "No more, L. No more."

L smirked while expanding Light's entrance further. "I want to make sure you'll be alright." L spent a few more moments scissoring his fingers. Now it was just to get a reaction out of the naïve man.

Light picked up on this quickly, "I think I'm r-ready…"

L chuckled removing his fingers. He poured some more lube in his hand and started coating his neglected erection in it. His member twitched in anticipation as he positioned himself under Light. He slowly pushed the tip into Light's entrance. L immediately felt Light's muscles tighten. Light's toes curled as L inched slowly into Light. When he was fully engulfed in Light's tight heat he paused looking up at light's face.

Light winced trying to form words. "… A-are we s-supposed… to just s-stay like th-this?"

At this L pulled out of Light only letting his tip brush Light's entrance then slammed back into him. Light cried out in surprise gripping the sheets. He grit his teeth from the pain that was slowly turning into undeniable pleasure.

L leaned forward placing small kisses on Light's neck before pumping Light's member with his hand. The pre-cum now coating his hand.

He thrust up a little causing a throaty moan from Light. "R-right there, L!"

L thrust into the same spot hitting Light's prostate. He moaned feeling he was close. L could feel Light close to his orgasm. L blocked Light's release with a finger pressed into the tip of Light's cock. Light whimpered feeling the rushing build up as he wanted release.

"…L!..."

L shivered feeling his release coming over him. He removed his finger as he continued to thrust into his lover. "Come with me Light."

Light cried out coating both their chests his release. L, at the same time came inside Light. He smothered the hot walls in his cum falling next to Light catching his breath. He kissed Light afterwards making his heart pound even harder. Light curled up next to him unable to form words and fell asleep.

L sighed happily feeling his eyes begin to close. He didn't feel like cleaning both him and Light off at the moment. He decided to just put it off till tomorrow.

**Sorry for the loooong wait but I'm hear! And I brought Yaoi. lolz 10 pages all together Yay! **

**I DO NOT OWN:**

**song 1 "Christmas Tree"**

**song 2 "Love Game"**

**by Lady Gaga.**

**lolz. I'm not a big fan of Lady Gaga, but when ever I go to a party we always dance to Love Game so yeah. I just randomly went past Christmas tree and was like XDXDXDXD. It made me laugh to actually put this in the story.**

**I was down to a tough descision for songs it was between Love Game and Your Love is my Drug (Kesha). I asked my freinds and they all said Love Game. There's my determined reasoning... **

**PLEASE REVIEW :P yeah I did just jump to that. Get over it. lol thanks. **

**OH YEAH! CHRISTMAS PRESENTS! 3 **

**Mello- Chocolate foutian- OH MY GOD I LOVE YOU!**

**Matt- Video Game- AWESOMENESS!**

**Near- Transformer- (stares)**

**Gevanni- Ship in a botte & tickets? to where?- Hee hee hee I'll never tell**

**Light- Notebook & Watch- I'll just take em to make Ryuzaki happy ^^**

**Watari- Retirement- ...**

**L- Panda bear- Dammit...- And Light Yagami- YES!**

**lolz I officially have too much time on my hands.**


	10. Chapter 10

**Dec. 26, 2010**

_I guess it's going to be a difficult day today. I can't walk. I guess my night with Ryuzaki would be the cause of that._

_I don't really care. It was an amazing night. I wish it lasted longer. _

_Uncle Mello walked in the room- or pounded since the door was locked- complaining that he heard shouting and… pounding on the walls. It makes me laugh now that I think about it. I love Ryuzaki so much! _

_It makes me angry since he's the only one I think about. I feel like a total dope because of it._

**Dec. 28, 2010**

_Wow. I didn't write much last time, did I? Nothing's really changed much._

_Everyone's still here. All my Uncles are staying till New Years. I guess it's to let me have the rest of the Month with Ryuzaki. _

_Uncle Mello force fed me chocolate. He somehow managed to hook a pipe up with the spouton his chocolate fountain and shoved it down my throat when I was asleep. Ryuzaki wasn't happy. I'm not sure what happened after that. I've spent the entire day scrubbing chocolate out of my mouth. Bleh._

_Ryuzaki told me that you're supposed to make a New Year's Resolution. I don't know what I'm supposed to do. I'm pretty much happy the way I am. I don't really know what a resolution is anyway…_

_**Resolution: **_1 the process of resolving_. That can't be it. _2 Firmness of purpose._ I don't think this is helping me at all._

_I guess I better go. I think I hear someone coming._

**Dec. 31, 2010**

_Well I get to stay up till midnight tonight! I don't know if I'm happy about that or not. I think I figured out what my New Year's Resolution is! I'll tell you after New Year's. _

_I was outside with everyone all day. There's still snow on the ground! _

_Uncle Mello pretty much forced Uncle Matt to go outside. It was so funny, but kind of weird. We had to drag him outside! I guess this family is anything but normal._

_Near built a snow fort. I know it doesn't sound very exciting, but it's _Near. _He built a giant four-walled fort that came up to my waist. Near and Gevanni were crouched down inside it doing… I don't know what they were doing._

_Then Matt and Mello declared war. _

_He started throwing snowballs at the fort actually landing some inside. Then they started coming after Ryuzaki and me. We were walking around the yard both watching and then talking._

_Speaking of which I should probably get back to watching my videos. BLAH! Why did I just randomly come out writing that?_

_Anyway we all were under siege by Mello. He sent flailing snowballs from everywhere. Me and L joined Near's side hiding behind the fort. _

_I actually heard Gevanni laughing! I've never heard him make much noise, so I thought he was like Near and Ryuzaki. I guess I was wrong._

_Then it was my turn to become evil. I started throwing snowballs at them. Matt and Mello cheered at the inside support they just landed. I walked over piling on many snowballs. Near, Gevanni and Ryuzaki were counteracting my attacks with their own snowballs._

_In the end we pretty much ran straight through Nears fort. He was pissed because of it, but forgave us. I tackled Ryuzaki into the snow. He called me "a bloody traitor" so I kissed him and apologized._

_Then we wanted to mess with Ryuzaki afterwards. When we started walking back towards the house I shoved snow down his pants. His face was priceless! He froze for about three seconds to figure out what was inside his pants. Then he turned and started lecturing me about his pants or something. I wasn't really listening because Near and Matt were busy shoveling snow into a bucket. _

_Next thing I know Mello's dumping the snow onto Ryuzaki's head! I laughed so hard after that! Ryuzaki was a bit angry. I brushed the snow out of his hair, but he looked so cute with it! _

_So that leads to me here sitting by the fire place drinking hot chocolate. Well, tea right now. Mello stole my hot chocolate. Bastard._

**Jan. 2, 2011**

_The first time I'm writing this year! I feel like crap. Everyone left so they could celebrate New Year's together. Ryuzaki took advantage of that._

_We started shooting fireworks a little early (about 22:00). We wanted to commemorate New Year's in some way. Uncle Mello got these really cool Japanese fireworks. He pointed the first one at me and told me to catch it. So I stood across from him as he lit it. Ryuzaki yelled at him and moved his hand away from my direction. I guess he wanted to catch it…_

_Anyway after they left Ryuzaki took me up to the roof of his house and we stayed there watching the fireworks. We made out after that and I discovered the joys of a cock ring. That was sarcasm. Not about the cock ring, about the joy._

_Lawliet (Yes I'm still mad at him for it) started feeling me up and the next think I know is this metal ring around my dick. I didn't really think much of it, and then… the pressure. The pressure was unbearable and he was enjoying it! And the thing that really pissed me off was that he came about twice and then made me beg for him to take the fucking ring off me!_

_I can't move today. It hurts everywhere. I can't believe this._

_You know what else? He got Watari to buy it! Watari. That poor man. Why can't Lawliet go out and buy his own fucking cock ring?_

_I need to go back to sleep._

**Jan. 5, 2011**

_I hate this! I'm so confused! _

_I told Ryuzaki my New Year's Resolution, which was; Become a better Light. I know it's corny, but I really wanted to know._

_Ryuzaki told me what happened…_

_Apparently when you use a Death Note there are certain rules you have to follow. Ryuzaki used one to his advantage, which was: If a Death Note owner accidentally misspells a person's name four times, that person will be free from the Death Note._

_He asked someone he'd never met to write his name down four times. They misspelled it four times. They must have been stupid. How hard is it to spell L Lawliet? I guess I'll never know. At least Ryuzaki's not dead! I'd be sad._

**Jan. 10, 2011**

_I haven't written in a while. I'm sorry…_

_Kira keeps talking to me. He's becoming more and more persistent. He keeps coming into my dreams at night yelling at me. Ryuzaki's going to die. He can't die. I'll kill myself before I let that happen._

_He tells me to quit screwing him and get to thinking about seeing Sayu. That's the last thing I want to think about! I hate him. I want him dead. _

**Jan. 13, 2011**

_I'm so tired. I think something's bothering Ryuzaki. Maybe Kira's wiggled his way into his dreams._

_Well I've decided to look on the bright._

_He gives me advice (Which I choose not to keep)._

_I don't have headaches anymore (Unless he's screaming something in my head)._

_I learn a little about myself (But I really only find that I was even more of a monster when I had memories)._

_I guess that's a start right? We're having a really peaceful day today. At least I am. Ryuzaki left me here to go get a few things. My guess is cake or something._

_Bleh. How can someone eat that much sugar?_

**Jan. 20, 2011**

_Is it possible to have sex and then fight afterwards? _

_Well it happened. I think Ryuzaki is either getting paranoid or I'm losing my mind. I don't even remember what we were fighting about._

_If I had to guess it'd be that I'm losing my mind. I mean am the one who keeps hearing voices and everything. I'm not that soft or submissive towards it now. Most of what Kira says is a lie anyway. _

_Guess where I am? The closet._

_I haven't been here in a while. It seems almost like a dream- or nightmare- since I haven't been in here in forever. At least I'm not in handcuffs. Yep and I have you, journal! I like to pretend like your real since it helps my thoughts. I basically take you with me everywhere._

_I feel so vulnerable. It's so quiet. That means I can't block Kira out as easily. His voice vibrates off the walls. I'm scared._

**Jan. 26, 2011**

_Shut up. Shut up. Shut up!_

_All I hear is laughter. His torturing, disgusting laughter. I hate this. I'm finally happy and he has to come and ruin everything. _

_It's moments like these were I wish I'd forgotten everything. I can't sleep. I keep seeing his eyes. Are those my eyes? I hate this!_

_I'm alone. Painfully and utterly alone. Where is everyone? Why can't they hear me screaming? I'm slipping…_

**Feb. 1, 2011**

_It's almost time. Only a few more weeks and I'll be home. Ryuzaki told me that my parents moved, but took all of their old furniture with them. Maybe I'll remember something!_

_I hope it's nothing bad. Ryuzaki is still on edge about that comment on Ryuk I made. Ryuk. I only remember his name and that he liked apples. I wonder how close we were?_

_I don't think I'll ask Ryuzaki. He seems to be on edge enough as is…_

**Feb. 7, 2010**

_I end these at the lamest times. Well it's not like I have enough time for them. Then my thoughts start running out…_

_Anyway, I started watching more videos. I've actually begun to get bored with them. Could this mean that I'm becoming more human? _

_So I asked Ryuzaki if he could tell me one thing about myself so I could build off of it. He said, "You used to lie… a lot." Thanks Ryuzaki that helps me tons! That was sarcasm._

_I've been using that a lot. Sarcasm. It's really appealed to me. I wish Uncle Mello was here. I miss him. In fact I miss all of them. (Even Near!) That's a big leap for me._

_I smell cake. Oh gosh, Ryuzaki's coming! I've got to go._

**Feb. 15, 2011**

_Best fucking night of my life (In more ways than one). Last night was Valentine's Day. Weird countries have special night to sow their love for each other. Best. Fucking. Night. Of. My. Life._

_I got Ryuzaki some chocolate covered strawberries because I wanted to give him at least something! He ate them off me. Like he covered me in whipped cream and he fucking ate them off me._

_I'm not going into anymore details because I fucking love that fucking bastard._

_I'm turning into Uncle Mello. Next thing I know I'll become some masochist...I'm so happy. I feel so good right now! But… _

_…Something inside me feels like I'm about to screw it up._

**Feb. 20, 2011**

_Only six days left. We're getting there two days early to see my sister._

_I'm actually pretty excited… and nervous. What is she like? Will she like me? Stupid question. Is she any different? Am I any different? That's the only thing that concerns me._

_Ryuzaki keeps telling me to be myself and she'll love me no matter what because she's my sister. I'm still worried! I haven't seen her in… When was the last time I saw her?_

_I don't remember her at all. I just remember what I saw in that picture L gave me. I want to see her, but I kind of don't because I want to stay with Ryuzaki._

_Will we still be together after this?_

**Feb. 26, 2011**

_We've been flying for forever in- no lie- Ryuzaki's helicopter. How does he have so much money? Well he is a detective… I what to get out so bad! I'm so excited and nervous at the same time…_

_We're landing and that's when I see her along the parking deck along with Uncle Mello. She's got long, shoulder length, brown hair. Her eyes are also brown but filled with sadness. Her skin is pale making her look much older than she actually was, but she was still beautiful. She wore a zebra striped shirt under a black leather jacket. She had on tight black jeans that wear tucked into knee high, heeled boots. Her hands were in a praying position as she scanned the parking deck. She looks like she's about to cry. She's obviously holding back something with eyes like hers._

_This is my sister. My little sister, Sayu._

**This is my filler chapter. Basically of what happened in short terms. I was freakin' out like "AH WHAT AM I GONNA WRITE? oh wait I gave Light a notebook... Let's use that!"**

**lolz my friends gave me the idea for the New Years thing. They were like "Make Mello point firecrackers at Light and L freak out!" lol. I loved it.**

**Next chapter: What will happen when Light meets Sayu? Basically, what I write. lolz. sorry 4 the super short chapter, but it IS a filler.**


	11. Chapter 11

"Light!" Sayu yelled when she saw her brother. She ran to him throwing her arms around him. The tears were already running down her cheeks when she saw him. "I knew you weren't dead! What happened to you? Did they hurt you?"

Light got tense when she hugged him. He felt nervous and scared but, also, warm and happy. "I'm fine, Sayu. Nobody did anything to me." He was really nervous since Sayu had definitely changed from the picture L gave him.

Sayu was apprehensive about the whole thing since the man who kidnapped her all those years ago stood right beside them. She blocked her worry we she saw Light. She missed him so much.

"You didn't scare her did you, Mello?" L said staring at her almost in jealousy then shaking the feeling off.

"No more than I already have," Mello said biting into his bar of chocolate.

"Be nice to my sister, Uncle Mello," Light said squeezing Sayu before letting her go.

"U-uncle?" Sayu stammered. She did not like how this was turning. The blonde man before he scarred her mentally. She didn't like the fact that Light was calling him "Uncle".

"Is Uncle Matt and Uncle Near here?"

"Sorry kiddo," Mello rubbed Light's hair making him flinch. "Matty has a hacking job and Near is… Well, Near's being Near!"

L scoffed at him, "Near is out being a detective, while you're out doing absolutely nothing."

"I'm a detective too! I just am taking a break until an actual case shows up." Mello stuck out his tongue at them before proceeding to eat his chocolate.

Light smiled, "That sounds familiar." He nudged L slightly.

Sayu had a look of fear in her eyes. Her brother had changed. She didn't know how, but he had. She pulled his arm, "I don't want you talking to these people, Light."

He looked down into his sister's timid eyes. She looked like she could break at any moment. "But—"

"Don't worry Light," L said placing a hand on his shoulder. "Go with Sayu. I have some business to attend to and then I'll come and see you."

Sayu had started pulling him earnestly away. Light kissed L's hand before they were away from the two men. Sayu didn't see it she just wanted to get him home.

She got in the driver's seat of her blue BMW. Her hands were shaking when she moved to put on her seatbelt.

"Are you okay, Sayu?" Her thoughts were broken when she stared at her brother's face. He stared at her with deep concern, but something was different. She felt the hot tears slip from her eyes. "Sayu!" Light yelled rubbing her hair. He wasn't exactly sure how to comprehend all of Sayu's emotions. He barely knew her. "Why are you crying?"

She sniffled wiping her eyes, "Sorry. I guess we've both changed." She sighed stuffing her key in ignition and turning it. "Well let's try to start over." Sayu put on a fake smile.

Light saw through it instantly, "Don't push yourself Sayu." Light said settling in his seat. "I have something I have to tell you, but I'll wait until we're home."

Sayu arched one of her eyebrows. "Why can't you just tell me now?"

"Because Ryuzaki told me that he didn't how you'd react, so I have to tell you when we get home."

"…Okay?" She thought. After a few moments she forgot the comment, "So how's school going? Or did you stop going after you joined the police?" She smiled as she started driving.

Light thought nervously, "Um… Well, it's going great I guess."

"You guess? That doesn't sound like my older brother. What happened to all those hours of studying?"

Light rubbed the back of his head sheepishly, "I guess I just suddenly lost interest."

That was surprising… "Did you break up with Misa?"

"…Yeah, she got tired of waiting for me to propose to her." I surprised him how easy lying was. Thoughts just suddenly came to him.

"Oh I'm sorry." She patted his hand, "You'll find that special someone soon."

"Speaking of 'special someone's', how's my sister's love life!" Light smiled wanting to get the questions off of him.

Sayu blushed, "Uh- well I've been thinking about you this whole time, so…"

"Oh," Light sighed a sitting back in his seat, "Well what about school?"

"Light you know I've graduated," Sayu muttered laughing at him. "Has it really been that long since we spoke?"

Light chuckled nervously. _Longer than you know, _Light thought to himself. "Well what are you doing now?"

"I was going to be a doctor, but… because of my mental health… It didn't work out."

"Oh, I'm sorry," Light didn't think much about it. She seemed perfectly fine.

"Don't be. You and Dad saved me."

_Saved her?_ Light didn't really know what to think about that statement. They were left in silence.

Sayu sighed pulling her smile back to her face, "But enough about me. I want to know what's been happening in my big brother's life! Anybody else come into your life after Misa? How about at the police station? Tell me everything that's happened in the past year."

Light gulped. This was exactly what he wanted to avoid. "Um… y-yeah…"

"You've got to give me more details than that!"

"Well, Ryuzaki and I have been seeing each other for quite a while." Light blushed, looking down at his hands.

"R-Ryuzaki?" She thought about this. "I've never really heard a girl with that name, but if she's good enough for my big brother… I'd like to meet her."

Light arched one of his eyebrows, "Ryuzaki is a guy." Light said as if it were a simple response.

Sayu slammed on breaks looking at her brother in shock. She studied Light's face. "…Is he t-the man who flew you here?"

Light nodded happily, "I really miss him. He said he'd come by the house later, but I worry about him when he's not around."

Sayu heard car horns blaring behind her and she started to drive again. "Dad would be so mad at you right now."

"Why?" Light asked. "It's not like I did anything to him." He hoped.

"You know Dad hate homosexuals more than anything. You'd get that big 'you're going to Hell' or 'you'll get AIDS'."

Light had confusion written all over his face. He didn't think there was anything wrong with loving Ryuzaki. He knew he had heard Mello say "Go to Hell" more than enough times, but he didn't really know what it was. He was clueless when it came to AIDS, but he decided not to question it. He thought it would just stay the same for Ryuzaki. He loved him and that was it.

"Well, I'm not going to say anything against it. Though I'm not really surprised. You did always have to match when you wore your clothes and spent hours in the bathroom."

"I don't think those are things you can go by," Light said still confused. How could dressing nice and going to the bathroom determine that? He sighed in relief when they finally pulled into the driveway of the house.

It was in a thick forest in the middle of nowhere. The house itself was a log cabin and blended in with the trees. It looked beautiful to Light, though it wasn't as big as L's. When they were out of the car, Light trailed his hands along the smooth wood walking up a ramp until they were on a porch.

"Why a ramp instead of stairs?" Light asked.

"Because it's easier to get a wheelchair down a ramp," Sayu said walking into the house. The room they walked into was wide with hard wood floors. There was a couch and a loveseat with pink cushions that lined a coffee table in the middle of the room that sat in front of the television. Behind that was another table with four wooden chairs under it. There was a wall that looked back into the kitchen and a door that was open to the living room that connected them together.

"Home sweet home," Sayu muttered putting her coat in a closet by the door.

"Yeah, home…" Light sighed feeling chills. "S-Sayu…"

Sayu walked back into the kitchen grabbing a kettle and turning on the stove. "I'm making us some tea, if that's alright."

"It's fine," Light said wandering around until he stood in the doorway of the kitchen. "Sayu—"

"Maybe Ryuzaki will come and we can have tea together," Sayu smiled filling the kettle with water. "How long have you two known each other?"

"He tells me for quite a while… but I only remember past the accident." Light realized he'd have to use an indirect method of speaking.

"Accident," Sayu asked ears perking up as she put the kettle on the stoves burner.

Light looked at her nervously, "I can't remember anything that happened before I started living with Ryuzaki. I-I'm sorry for not telling you earlier, but I didn't want to upset you."

Sayu's eyes held mixed emotions as she stared at Light, "You can't… remember?"

Light nodded, "As far as I know, this is our first time meeting."

"How?"

"Ryuzaki told me it was because I was in some type of car accident." He didn't want to bring up the Death Note at a time like this.

She stared blankly searching his face and then turned away glaring, "You're lying."

"What?" Light thought he misheard her.

"You're not my brother," She growled.

"What? That's none sense, Sayu. I'm Light."

"No they only want me to think that," She muttered hugging herself.

"Who's they?"

"The kidnappers. He was with you… their leader… He probably paid you to come here."

"I wasn't paid! How can someone with the same face as me be your brother? I'm telling the truth," Light stepped forward slightly.

"You probably got surgery or put on make-up or something."

"Why would I do something like that?"

"For money."

"I'm not getting paid Sayu. I wanted to see you."

"Then to find out L's identity," Sayu shrugged. "My brother knew it."

"I already know L's identity."

Sayu rocked herself slowly. "I don't know! People like you always have some ulterior motive for something like this. You probably want to find out Kira's identity or something."

Light growled, "That's completely insane! I would never do something like that, and it wouldn't even matter because I'm Kira!" Light put his hands over his mouth forcing the laughter in his mind to arise. "I-I mean… I was or… I—"

Sayu stared at him in terror. She mumbled quietly, "Get out." Light still trying to find his words ignored her. She stood up and screamed, "Get out! I don't want to see you. Just get out and leave me alone!"

"But Sayu—"

"Get out," Sayu yelled as Light ran outside. He had tears sliding down his cheeks as he wiped them shakily from his eyes.

He heard Sayu crying from the other side of the door. Light fell to his knees and huddled closely to the door, "I'm sorry Sayu. I didn't mean to upset you."

Between muffled cries he heard her mutter, "Just go…" Light sighed sitting at the door letting his tears fall quietly as he listened to her sobs. After a few moments, Light stood up and made his way into the woods.

**lol. this chapter sucked. I ended it lamely. I was trying to type fast cuz I'm babysitting (Don't tell any1). **

**Poor Light :( Sayu thinks he's consorting with the enemy, well he kind of is. If the eneny's Mello.**

**Light: I AM KIRA! XDXD I had to put some confession in there! lol.**


	12. Chapter 12

L knocked lightly on Sayu's door. He was actually relieved to be there. He could only stand so much of the Wammy's boys. He wanted to see Light.

No one came to the door. He turned the knob and opened the door. He thought for a moment staring at the black open space. _If I go into her house like this does that make it breaking and entering? Well the door was unlocked. Eh, who cares? It's not like I'm going to steal anything…_

L stepped into the house. All the lights were out. _Did they go somewhere?_ L asked himself closing the door. He heard a faint whistling sound coming from the kitchen. He walked in turning on the lights. A tea kettle was whistling blowing out steam and bubbles as it did so. L rushed to turn off the burner.

He heard something else now. Something that was too faint to hear under the whistling. Sniffling? Whimpering? It was in the other room though. Had there been another person in there when he entered the house?

He walked out of the kitchen scanning the living area. Out of the corner of his eye he saw a dark figure. Sayu was curled up hugging her knees as small tears ran out of her blank, lifeless eyes. She paid no attention to L as if she was in her own world.

"Sayu?" L asked scanning the room for anyone else.

She smiled slightly, though it didn't reach her eyes. "Am I going to die, Light?"

L tilted his head. She was staring out at some blank space. She hummed slightly rocking herself.

"Sayu, where's Light?" L asked stepping closer to her.

She cocked her ears. "Where is… Light?" She muttered small words that L couldn't make out. "Kira tricked Light…"

L stood straight up hearing this. "Sayu where is Kira?"

She stared in some cheerful wonder at the corner across from her. "Kira ran into the woods… He's going to kill me now isn't he?"

"Kira's not going to kill anybody," L shouted shaking her shoulders. "Sayu look at me!"

Sayu kept her eyes on the corner and then let out a scream. L let her go as she huddled closer to the corner muttering something under her breath. She was breathing heavily as her eyes were darting up and down the wall.

L sighed running outside. For the first time in a very long time he was afraid. "Light!" He scanned the woods for some sort of mark or sign. He started off in some random direction look for some type of figure or silhouette. He stopped in the middle of this after a while. _I need to think rationally otherwise I'll never find him._ L nodded and began walking.

* * *

Light sat down underneath an oak tree. The sun had begun to set. He didn't care that the tree was uncomfortable and that the bark stuck in his back. He closed his eyes settling against the tree.

He would've fallen asleep if it weren't for all the sounds. He started getting scared eyes darting towards the direction of each sound.

"Light?"

Light's ears perked up. Did he hear that correctly? He rolled his eyes thinking his mind was playing tricks on him.

"Light?"

There it goes again. Maybe his thoughts weren't playing tricks on him. This time it sounds closer. Wait isn't that… "Ryuzaki?"

"Light!"

"Ryuzaki!" Light perked up hearing the detective's voice. "Where are you?"

"In a forest," L said this in a "That was a stupid question" tone.

"I know that!" Light snarled at his answer. "How can I find you?"

"Just keep saying my name and I'll find you," L said.

"Why your name," Light teased.

"You want to get out of this forest?"

Light laughed, "Ryuzaki! Ryuzaki! Ryuzaki I can't stand it. Take me now!"

"I don't think now is the time for making jokes," L said stepping out from behind the tree.

Light laughed rolling on his side, "I can't help it your face is so funny!"

L stared blankly letting his features rest for a bit. "You're not worried about Sayu?"

Light froze, "Why would I be? She wanted me gone so I left. I didn't want to cause her any more trouble than I already had. I accidentally told her I was Kira." Light laid his head back against the roots of the tree.

"So I heard. She's not acting like herself." L crouched down beside Light. "We have to go back."

Light gave him a nervous look, "What if she hates me?"

"She's your sister. She can't hate you."

"You didn't see the way she looked at me," Light said turn away from him.

L placed a hand on Light's shoulder pulling on it slightly. "And you didn't see the way she completely ignored me… Come on."

Light reluctantly stood on his feet letting L pull him through the forest. He looked at the ground as the leaves turned black under his feet.

"Don't worry. I'll talk to her." L squeezed his hand.

"What did Kira do to her?"

L thought for a moment, "She probably blames Kira for the death of your father… and possibly your mother as well."

"B-but I didn't kill them did I?" Light suddenly had fear and worry in his eyes.

L shook his head, "No your father was shot by one of Mello's men and your mother's death was completely self-inflicted."

Light sighed in relief, "That's good. I was afraid he would've killed them."

"He might've when the time came…"

Light shuttered at the thought. He realized they'd stopped. He saw L looking back at him, "I think you better go in first."

Light nodded walking up the ramp and into the house. He heard soft whispers from the back of the room, "Sayu?"

"Light's… voice…"

Light walked further seeing his sister. He rushed to her grabbing shoulders as he forced her to look in his eyes. "Sayu calm down."

She searched his face tracing the indentions with her hands. "Light…" She fainted after staring into his eyes. Light held her close to him as she went limp.

"L," Light looked frantically at his sister then to L.

L felt her wrists. "It's okay. She's just unconscious."

Light looked pained, "Did I do this?"

"No. I think the shock did that. She just needs to sleep." L lifted Sayu into his arms. L walked to the staircase that was across the room. He walked up the stairs that lead four doors. They made a perfect rectangle together.

L opened the one to his left, "Bathroom."

Light opened the one to his right, "Bedroom."

L scanned the room with familiar desk and bed. "This is your room… The furniture is yours at least."

Light nodded and ran to the door at the far end of the hall on the right. "This could be her room."

L walked into the room with white walls and other faded colors that were too dark to see. There was a full sized bed shoved into the corner and a dresser with a mirror with all kinds of make-up scattered beneath it. L placed Sayu in her bed covering her with the sheets. He and Light left quietly afterwards.

Light had small tears shaking in his eyes that he was trying to hold back but failed. He felt each of them make their way down his cheeks. Before he could react L pulled him into his chest stroking his hair and caressing him gently. Light felt safe wrapped in the detectives arms. He clutched his shirt letting his tears fall.

"I-I hate Kira. I wish I'd never found the Death Note. I wish I hate having to keep acting like I can remember things that I can't!"

L kissed his head. "I'm glad that you being Kira caused me to meet you…" Light froze looking at L. "However I will never forgive him for what he did. What he did to you. Light you didn't do anything wrong. Stop crying. You're not the one to blame."

"No, but I'm part of the one to blame," Light's bangs hid his expression.

L pinned Light's arms against the wall. "Don't talk like that! You're nothing like Kira."

Light studied the ground for a moment, "But… I am Kira and I caused pain to all these people."

"You didn't do anything."

Light was silent letting his thoughts roam. L sighed seeing light's blank expression, "Light…" L brushed their lips together gently. He pulled back searching Light's eyes for some expression. "You're so innocent."

Light blushed, "What? How can someone like me be—" He was cut off by L's lips.

"Your eyes. You have no anger or rage or malice only innocence in your eyes. Now stop talking like that."

Light studied L's face for a moment. He looked deep into his eyes. He saw curiosity and questions and sadness in his eyes and something else. Something that he only saw when he looked at Light. Light stepped closer towards the wall. L stepped closer to Light till there was no space between their bodies as he kissed Light again.

L stepped away pulling Light over his shoulder. "W-what are you doing L?"

L smirked as Light struggled, "You're dirty, so I thought that I should give you a bath."

Light squirmed around kicking up his legs. "No. I'm fine. You don't have to do that."

"If you keep shouting like that Sayu will hear you," That made Light shut up.

L carried Light into the bathroom locking the door behind him. He set Light down and turned the knob and water started filling the tub. L pushed Light back against the sink that was directly across from the tub. He crushed their lips together moving his hands along Light's chest. He unbuttoned his shirt pushing his shirt back so that it rested at his elbows. Light moaned pulling at L's shirt as L moved to lick Light's neck.

Light pushed L's shirt over his head and soon had it sliding down his arms. "Light, _you're _the one taking the bath here." Light responded by tugging at L's pants. L smirked, "Very well."

L moved to turn off the water then turned back to Light. Light focused all his attention on L. L realized this immediately and started stepping out of his pants. Light stayed where he was as L settled into the water.

Light followed kicking off his pants and quickly joined L in the water. L settled back against the porcelain tub. Light sat facing L. He let out a shaky breath before he leaned forward and licked L's neck. He trailed soft, butterfly kisses along it as L craned his neck back.

He pulled a bar of soap off of a shelf in the tub. Light ran it along L's chest and shoulders. Light wet his hands running them along the soft, pale skin.

"Turn around," L muttered suddenly lifting his head.

Light turned so that his back was to L. L grabbed the soap from Light and started rubbing it ineffectively down Light's back. He got on his knees to move the soap along his chest. Light followed L's hand with his eyes.

L settled back down spreading his legs open and pulling Light closer to him. L snaked his arms around Light's waste. He stroked Light's thigh coaxing him to open his legs. Light slowly spread open his letting L stroke his member.

L nipped at Light's ear, "_This _is really dirty as well. Should I clean it too?"

Light moaned leaning into L's chest. He laid his head back on L's shoulder. L continued his ministrations making Light start bucking his hips and splashing the water against them. Light leaned back farther and felt the tip of L's cock brush against his entrance. That only heightened L's arousal.

"Light, ride me," L whispered into Light's ear.

Light gave a shaky nod as L removed his hands to prepare Light. Light had already positioned himself over L to avoid his fingers and slammed down hard on L's neglected member. L gasped at the surprising heat squeezing around him. Light dug his fingernails into L's inner thighs wincing at the presence inside him.

Soon after Light steadied his breath and pulled himself up so that L was completely out of him. He slammed back down equally as hard as the first time. L started bucking his hips trying to find the spot that made Light always see stars.

Light let out a sound that was between a cry and a moan as he moved his hips in time with L's. L started abusing Light's prostate with his hips bucking faster. He began to stroke Light's member again feeling that he was close.

Light yelped at his release letting the white fluids intrude in the water. L felt his own release come over him as he let out a low moan and emptied himself inside Light. They sat there for a moment to catch their breath.

L stood up picking Light up with him. L stepped out of the water letting it drain as he searched for a towel. There was a closet beside the tub. L pulled out a towel from it and walked back to clean Light's entrance. He picked up their clothes and supported Light on his shoulders.

They walked across the hall to the room L thought was Light's. He placed Light carefully in bed. Light tugged at L's arms pulling him into bed with him. They lay in a spooning position. Light traced L's arms with his fingers.

"I never did anything to hurt you, did I?" Light asked.

"No, nothing," L lied kissing Light's head.

Light smiled closing his eyes. "Well I'm glad you don't hate me."

"I could never hate Light…"

Light sighed falling to sleep holding L's arms tightly. "I love you," Light whispered quietly.

"I love you too," L replied after Light was deeply sleeping. He studied his sleeping face. _Nothing bad enough to make me hate you…_

**TBC **

**man I guess I'll have to start putting that up. My updates are going to be a little irregular because SCHOOL STARTS THIS WEEK!**

**Goody Goody (sarcasm)**

**I know this post is super short, but sorry :( KK I guess I should go.**

**At least I left you with lemons lolz **

**I'll try to post the next chapter soon. BYE BYE!**


	13. Chapter 13

"Ya' know, it's hard to sleep with you talking," Light whispered.

"_Excuse me for waking the lovesick puppy after screwing his master."_

Light cocked one of his eyebrows, "What?"

Kira rolled his eyes, _"If you don't understand I'm not explaining."_

Light sat up slowly, "What do you want?"

Kira was sitting at Light's desk. Light couldn't make out his features only his eyes. They were bent into slits._ "I just wanted to ask you something. Of course you have to get out of bed."_

Light sighed scooting out of the bed so that he wouldn't wake L. When he stood on his feet he fell to his knees and hissed rubbing his lower back.

"_I thought you'd gotten used to the pain,"_ Kira smirked. He threw Light his pants and waited for him to put them on.

"I'm glad you learned some compassion," Light growled as he stepped into his pants.

"_I have a favor I'd like you to do for me."_

Light used the headstand for support, "And why would I do that? You're trying to kill Ryuzaki."

"_Light, I promise I will not harm him if you do this for me."_

Light froze he looked into the red eyes, "W-what is it."

Kira's eyes darted to the right, "_The drawer, open it." _Light looked at the drawer Kira's eyes led to. A key was stationed in the lock.

Lightwalked silently across his room to the drawer. He turned the key in the lock slowly and opened it. There was a thick book with the word "DIARY" printed over the cover. Light picked it up and studied it.

"_It will do you no good to read it. It's a fake you created a long time ago." _Kira took the book away and pulled out a ball point pen. He took it apart so that nothing but the ink well remained._ "Stick this in the hole under the drawer."_

Light nodded taking the pen and finding the hole under his drawer. He pushed it up and as he did so the bottom of the drawer raised itself as well. There was a piece of paper underneath the drawer. He reached out and grabbed it.

Kira was smirking as Light looked across the notebook paper with wide eyes.

**L Lolliay**

**L Lawlié **

**Elle lawliette**

**L Lawliette**

**Ele Lawliet**

**L Lawliet**

"W-What is this?" Light asked clutching the paper tightly.

"_A page from the Death Note," _Kira smiled revealing his pearly white teeth.

"W-why is Ryuzaki's name on the page?"

"_Isn't it obvious?" _Kira sighed looking at Light's sad expression, "_You really don't have any memory of that day?"_

Light squeezed the paper hard. "Rem?"

Kira nodded, _"She died when her notebook was burned."_

Light thought for another moment feeling a memory pour into him.

* * *

"_Ryuzaki, what are you doing out here?" Light opened the door to his house and saw the detective dripping wet._

"_Excuse me," He looked down sorrowfully. "I was out walking and it started raining."_

_Light stared at him critically, "You just happen to be walking in the direction of my house?" He was skeptical about L not having a motive for anything. _

"_I actually wanted to talk to you…" L hung his head letting the drops of water hit the floor._

_Light motioned for L to come into his house and shut the door behind him. His mother and father were upstairs watching the news as Sayu was chatting with her friends on her cell phone. "What's the meaning of this Ryuzaki?"_

_L scanned the walls, "I would like to discuss this matter in private."_

"_Okay…" Light motioned for L to come upstairs. L followed behind him silently. "Dad, Ryuzaki came over. We'll be in my room if you need anything," Light called making L flinch._

_Light motioned for L to come into his room. L entered and Light locked the door behind him. Light sat in the chair by his desk. "What is it Ryuzaki?"_

"_Given the fact that you're Kira—"_

"_How many times do I have to tell you Ryuzaki? I'm not Kira!" Light looked annoyed as he sat back in his chair._

"_Excuse me," L said rolling his eyes. "Given the _chance_ that you are Kira I need to tell you something."_

_Light tilted his head to the side. It seemed L was nervous. L never got nervous, so why is he now? _

"_I feel that if by any chance that you are Kira. Then I don't know if I can put you to death…" L's head was still bent over hiding his expression._

"_What are you talking about Ryuzaki? Kira needs to be put to death. You know that better than I do." Light was smiling on the inside at his lie._

"_If it's someone else I can handle it, but… if it's you than I don't think I'll be able to. Light, I knew that it was impossible for me to ever meet the person to spend the rest of my life with. I thought if that were to happen I didn't know what I would do, so I figured it would be impossible because I'm so… unsociable."_

"_That's a little bit hard on yourself, don't you think? Yeah you may not be very social, but you've got a great mind and body," Light flinched. Did he actually say that L's body looked good? "You'd be loyal to that person and you'd try to make them happy. Then once they see how skilled with your hands you are…" Light gave out a nervous chuckle. He'd started rambling. He hated that. He'd actually told him that he had skilled hands? Well he had seen him working on cake and sugar cubes before, so maybe that wasn't far from the truth._

_L looked slightly surprised by this. "That's just it Light. You're the first person whose ever know the real me. I feel that if either of us were to die we'd be lost without the other."_

"_I don't like how you're talking about dying Ryuzaki."_

"_I know," L shrugged him away. "What I mean is we complete one another and… I think I might love you," L winced slightly for whatever was to come._

_Light stared at him wide eyed. He never would've expected L to come out right here and now. He felt good, but most of those feelings were blocked by his own bloodlust to see L dead. "You think you might?" _

"_Yes. I've never felt like this, so it's very new to me."_

"_I don't know Ryuzaki. It's bad enough that we're both guys. We can't exactly form a relationship on half assed feelings." Light turned around in his chair so that his back was to L. Why didn't he turn L down? It wasn't like he had feelings for him, right?_

"_You're not turning me down?"_

"_N-not entirely," Light blushed, but it was hidden from L. His heart was pounding. "I just don't want to enter a relationship when the other person isn't fully aware of his feelings."_

"_My real name is L Lawliet. How's that for half assed?" L stated bluntly. Light whipped around and saw L was now in touching distance from him. "You're the only person- besides Watari- who knows my name." One of his hands came up and caressed Light's cheek._

_Light gulped as his heart started beating rapidly when L touched him. "Wha-what are you doing?"_

_L whispered, "Making my feelings known." He kissed Light gently before nibbling on his lips requesting entrance. Light fought for a moment then allowed the detective to search the interior of his mouth. Light gasped for air thus breaking the kiss._

_He didn't understand what he was feeling. His body was shaking, but not in fear. He felt fire when L kissed him. He couldn't seem to calm down. Once side of him wanted to tackle Ryuzaki and make out with him some more, the other wanted to watch him slowly and painfully die. _

"_I should go," L said suddenly. "I'd hate for your parents to walk in on us and it seems we both need to think on these matters…" _

_Light had half the nerve to pull L back to him, but he remained silent. When he left Light was frozen in his seat. _

"_Well that was unexpected," A raspy voice said. "So what are you going to do now, Light?"_

_Light's eyes lowered letting his thoughts swirl around in his mind. "Tell me, Ryuk, how would you spell L Lawliet?"_

"_Like I'd tell you," The voice scoffed._

"_Worth a shot," Light chuckled. He pulled out the Death Note and opened it to a blank page, "L Lawliet?"_

* * *

"Ryuk…" Light muttered trying to remember the familiar name. "I've heard his name before."

"_Ryuk was our Shinigami," _Kira muttered leaning back in the chair. _"He came to Earth to follow who ever picked up his Death Note."_

"A Shinigami?" Light gave him a questioning look. "But Ryuzaki said that—"

"_Ryuzaki lied,"_ Kira growled almost mocking Light. _"He didn't want you to remember Ryuk so he made up a lie."_

Light stared blankly at the ground. "Then when I wrote this he told me he loved me…"

"_Yes and you tried to kill him. I know how the story goes. I still have memories. I still know everything."_ Kira was yelling at him.

Light fell to his knees, _"_But why? Why do you know everything? And why would I try to kill Ryuzaki if I love him?"

Kira laughed, _"You wanted him dead. I'm pretty sure you even know that."_

Light shook his head slightly, "No, my emotions were mixed. I wasn't sure what I wanted…"

Kira sighed "_You're as stubborn as ever."_ He crouched down next to Light holding a new pen in his hand. _"Now for that favor…" _He twirled the pen around between his fingers.

"I'm not killing Ryuzaki," Light yelled.

Kira rolled his eye, "_If you wait for me to ask you'd know that it wasn't Ryuzaki I was talking about. It wouldn't even matter since the Death Note can't kill him now… Now, there are two women that I thought about killing that I never managed to. _

"_Misa Amane was the second Kira and an upcoming model and actress. I wanted her dead, but her shinigami, Rem, said that she would kill me if she didn't. After Rem died she proved even more useful because she had the shinigami eyes. I'm not explaining those to you._

"_Sayu is our little sister, but when she was kidnapped I knew she would only be trouble. I was trying hard to fight Light into killing her, but I guess family out rules justice."_

"You call that justice? Just tell me what you want."

He smiled sinisterly, _"Misa is currently dead, so there is nothing to worry about as far as she goes. However, Sayu can prove to be an even bigger nuisance in the future."_

"What do you mean? It's not like I'm going to start killing criminals again. How would Sayu cause trouble?"

"_She's a civilian who knows about Kira."_

"So? We know a lot of people who know about Kira."

"_Light, when you get back your memories back I'm sure it'll be like old times. We just have to get rid of a few people in our way. Who knows maybe Ryuzaki would help us." _He leaned in closer till Light could feel his hot breath in his ear. "_I want you to kill Sayu."_

Light jumped back away from Kira, "You're evil! How can you even think about killing her? She's our sister! And furthermore, what makes you think Ryuzaki would follow along with it. Ryuzaki would never give up his sense of justice for my sake."

"_He said he wouldn't kill you if you were Kira, and he didn't. I'm sure he'd give up a lot of things for you, Light."_

"Not what he believes in. I could never make Ryuzaki do something he wasn't fully acceptant of."

"_Like you're relationship?"_

"What are you talking about?"

Kira smiled, _"Face it. Ryuzaki's not completely sure of his feelings."_

"T-that's not true," Light's eyes looked petrified.

"_If it's not true, then why does he lie?"_

"He doesn't lie," Light shuttered.

"_Light, I'm only asking you to do this for me." _Kira placed both hands on Light's shoulders, _"Please?"_

"No. No matter how much you beg me I can't kill Sayu," Light said crossing his arms and turning away from Kira.

Kira reached down uncrossing Light's arms and placed the pen in his right hand. "_Here I'll help you." _He gripped the hand that held the pen. He pulled Light's arm over to the paper. _"Now close your eyes and think of nothing but Sayu," _Kira whispered into Light's ears. Light found himself doing exactly that as Kira moved his hand across the paper. "_S…A…Y…U. See? You've got the first name down. Y-A-G-A—"_

"Please stop," Light muttered gritting his teeth as he did so. He tried to pull his arm back, but Kira kept it into place. "Stop it, Kira!"

"_Why? It's only two more letters to go."_ Kira tugged at his hand.

"I said stop! I'm not going to kill Sayu," Light balled up the paper and threw it into his drawer.

"_What's wrong, Light?" _Kira asked tilting his head slightly._ "You would've gotten your memories back if you did that…"_

Light remained silent as he continued staring at the drawer. He turned around and crawled back into bed and closing his eyes.

* * *

Light woke up rubbing his eyes angrily. He scowled at the sunlight that was now pouring into his bedroom. He stretched turning over to an empty bed. Where's Ryuzaki?

"_Where indeed? Maybe he left you for someone else?" _Kira chuckled in the back of his mind.

"You better keep quiet for the rest of the day. I don't want to hear another word out of you today," Light snarled getting out of bed.

He rose up rubbing his eyes slowly looking outside window that was beside his bed. He never got over how different this place was. It was really beautiful, but it was quiet.

Light put on his shirt from last night and walked out of his room. He heard laughing coming from downstairs. He walked in the direction of the staircase and found a piece of paper lying in front of them.

**Dear Light,**

**I managed to convince Sayu into thinking that yesterday was a dream. We're down stairs now if you haven't already figured that out. I'm sorry for not being there when you woke up. Please come down when you're ready.**

**L**

Light rolled his eyes, "He's so formal even when writing small letters like this." He stuffed the letter in his pants pocket and walked back into his room.

"_You're not going to see them?" _Kira asked with a smile in his voice.

"I'm not in the mood to see either of them right now. Not after what happened last night… And I told you not to talk to me!" Light laid down on his bed closing his eyes as he did so.

Light felt a cold hand press against his cheek. _"Is Light mad at me?"_

Light turned over on his side, "Leave me alone. How is it that you can suddenly manifest yourself suddenly now? It's not like you're real."

"_Your mind wants you to remember and so do I. Together we create a fully functioning Kira that can be seen and heard only by you. And we were so close last night." _Kira stretched out beside Light.

"There's no way I can kill Sayu," Light kept his eyes closed keeping his back to Kira.

"_We only had two letters left and it would've been too late. You have perfect timing."_ Kira frowned teasing him.

"And what would I gain if Sayu were to die?"

"_We can go back to being Kira…"_

"It's not like Sayu is the only person who knows Kira's true identity."

"_True, but you know everyone else's names. We can kill them too, or they might actually join us if Ryuzaki does. If he refuses well we can just kill him too. With our own hands if we must just like you said when we first met him." _Kira let out sinister laughter after this making Light flinch.

"How many times do I have to tell you I'm not killing anyone? Especially not people I care about."

Kira sighed, _"Yes that is our dilemma right now, isn't it?" _Kira sighed turning on his stomach and stroking Light's hair. _"That was a pretty pathetic bath. He didn't even wash your hair."_

"I'm not objecting," Light muttered sleepily.

"_You wouldn't… What are we going to do? I want things to go back to the way they should be and you want to stay like this."_

"Seeing as my body belongs to me I get to make the decisions."

"_Oh that's fair,"_ Kira muttered sarcastically.

Light opened his eyes at Kira who was scowling at Light's desk. "I'm going down stairs." Light got out of bed and walked to the door.

"_I thought you didn't want to see them right now."_

"I'm sure it's better than seeing you," Light said closing his bedroom door.

The house was actually kind of quiet now. There wasn't anyone talking or people conversing just silence. He walked down stairs and saw Sayu's back to him as she sat on the love seat watching some TV show. Light wasn't really interested with it, so he sat on the couch. There was a bunch of girls screaming about some guy.

Sayu turned the volume down when she saw Light and smiled, "Good afternoon. I'm sorry for falling asleep last night. I had some crazy dream, but I'm sorry if it made you bored or anything."

Light was confused about the whole apology, but smiled and said, "It's fine. I'm just happy that my little sister is okay."

She sighed, "Yeah… Ryuzaki told me about the accident. I'm so sorry I wasn't there for you, Light."

Light held up his hands and chuckled nervously, "It's okay. I'm fine, really." He looked around the room, "Where is Ryuzaki?"

"He's in the kitchen making tea."

Light nodded lying down and letting his head rest on the arm of the couch. He sighed watching some of the squealing girls jump excitedly as they started talking to this random guy with dark mahogany, brown hair. Light slowly started to close his eyes until he started hearing talking again.

"I don't know why he's so tired," Sayu said as L handed her a cup of tea.

Light slowly opened his eyes and saw L standing in front of him. He was muttering something to Sayu about Light's sleeping habits. Light tugged on L's pants leg and sat up so that L would sit next to him. L actually sat normally so that Light could lay his head back down. He pet Light's hair making Light make some sort of purring noise.

"Did you sleep well?" L had been sure he'd gotten both himself and Light to bed at a decent hour. Even though they had had sex, he would always make sure that they went to bed after their "bath" and not anything else.

Light rubbed his eyes looking up at L who was sipping his tea. "Yeah, I just had a headache that gave me a lot of trouble."

"Are you alright," Sayu asked.

He gave her a half smile, "Yeah, I'm fine."

Sayu sat back on the couch slowly, "Well I thought we could do something today, but if you're tired then—"

Light bolted up and jumped in the seat next to Sayu. He squeezed her shoulder gently. "Really I'm fine. I want to spend as much time with you as possible."

Sayu was a little surprised, but laughed. "All right where do you want to go?"

"What's around here?" Light smiled brightly at her, his eyes flickering in excitement.

"Well there's the museum and the aquarium… We have a zoo."

Light tilted his heard to the side, "A zoo?"

"A place where people watch animals in cages," L muttered taking slight interest in the television.

"Can we go?" Light asked intrigued by the idea.

Sayu smiled standing up, "Of course we can. I just need to get ready." Sayu ran upstairs to change clothes and put on here make up.

"Is that alright, Ryuzaki," Light asked turning to L when Sayu was gone.

"It's fine," L said sounding uninterested and pulling his knees back to his chest.

"You don't like zoos?" Light asked crawling closer to L.

"They're not my favorite. Quite frankly I don't find it appealing to see creatures being looked up and used for the enjoyment of others."

"Should I tell Sayu to go somewhere else?"

L sighed, "No. You should at least enjoy yourself while you're here. Besides you'll get to be with Sayu."

Light smiled, "Yeah."

"Well, I guess we better go," Sayu chimed running down the stairs. She grabbed her keys as L and Light rose off the couch.

Sayu locked the door to the house and let everyone get into her car. L sat in the back while Light sat up front beside Sayu. Light could feel L watching him which only made him nervous.

"I'm really glad we get to see each other again like this. I haven't been to the zoo in years!" Sayu smiled starting her car and pulling out into the street.

They got the zoo faster than expected. Light got out of the car staring curiously at the inside of its gates. Sayu paid for them and Light dragged L towards a gate where a large black and white bear was eating long stocks of bamboo in its pen.

"Ryuzaki look!" Light pointed running up to the Panda's pen leaning over the rail. "Wow, so that's what a real one looks like!"

L walked over to Light staring amusingly at him. "Why are you getting so excited about this?"

Light smiled happily at the bear, "Because it reminds me of Ryuzaki."

Ryuzaki blushed slightly as some families gave them sharp glares and others smiled at them. Sayu came in between them smiling at the panda. "Aw. He's so cute," She didn't say it in a prissy, girly voice. She spoke almost like a happy mother, or at least a mature woman.

They spent the entire day there. L was becoming more amused by Light's different reactions to the animals. Sayu was having fun with her older brother. Light felt like he was in some type of wonderland filled with all the animals. He didn't want it to end, but at the same time it felt… wrong. Not being with Sayu and L, but there was something else. He shoved the negativity away for that afternoon. He didn't want to worry anyone.

"How about we go for ice cream?" Sayu asked as she started up her car.

Light nodded not thinking his smile could get any wider, "Yeah!"

Sayu drove from the zoo to the ice cream shop in less than two minutes. She got a vanilla cane, Light got a strawberry scoop cone and L got pistachio. Light smiled brightly licking his ice cream then giving the rest to L when he was finished.

Sayu started playing some upbeat music on the radio. She smiled singing along and bobbing her head to the beat of the song. She smiled looking at Light then turning her attention back to the street and slammed on breaks.

Two cars collided with each other in front of them. Sayu's heart was pounding as she got pale staring at the wreck. She sighed in relief rubbing her temples together. "Are you two alright?" She asked after she felt her heart stop pounding as hard as it was.

L's arm was holding Light back in his chair. He was shaking slightly, but not as bad as Light. Light was holding L's arm as he trembled from the terrible exhilaration. L searched Light's face as he stared blankly out the window.

Light saw him. He always saw him. He was the only one who did. He was smirking as he stood leading against the street light post on the side of the road. His scarlet eyes glistened with blood lust as his gaze darted to Light as he laughed disappearing into thin air after Light blinked.

Light grit his teeth snarling under his breath, "Damn bastard."

**TBC**

**Okay... Kira's basically a poltergeist now. lolz. I hope to write somemore soon. THANK YOU!**

**Oh yeah. Kira doesn't write names his self b/c if Light were to write names he'd get his memories back ;)**

**cute moments I shortened them cuz I went past 10 pages. srry. enjoy.**


	14. Chapter 14

"What is it, Light? Are you alright?" L asked nuzzling Light's neck.

Light turned his head away from where Kira was standing. He rubbed his cheek against the top of L's head, "I'm fine. Don't worry."

* * *

Light through the front door of Sayu's house and ran up stairs to his room locking himself inside it. "Where are you?"

_"That's different… Light-o actually wants to see me?" _Kira chuckled to himself. _"What is it you want?"_ He said standing at the foot of Light's bed.

"You know exactly! What was that? Y-you killed—"

_"I didn't kill anyone."_

"But that car crash—"

"—_was an accident," _Kira interrupted as Light fell to his knees. "_Seriously Light, what would I gain by killing innocent bi-standers? That's not how I work."_

"And yet you want me to kill Ryuzaki," Light lowered his eyes to the floor angrily.

"_Because he was trying to kill you. 'Once is once' as he always said, and I agree completely." _Kira smiled standing in front of Light. _"What is it, Light? Why are you getting scared all of a sudden?"_

Light sighed leaning back against the door staring into his copy's crimson eyes. "You were serious last night, weren't you?"

Kira thought for a moment, _"If you're talking about Sayu, yes. I wouldn't ask if I wasn't sure."_

Light drew in a shaky breath of air, "If you want her dead then why don't you just kill her? It's not like you need me to move around for you."

"_Are you saying I'm allowed to kill her?" _Kira chuckled lightly.

"What? No! I would never want that for my sister." Light glared at Kira who was leaning over him smiling madly. "I'm just saying if you're able to move things then why ask me to do it?"

Kira rolled his eyes, _"You don't listen to a word that comes out of my mouth, do you?" _Kira sighed,_ "No matter… Light, you know there is one goal that both me and your subconscious wish to achieve… getting your memories back." _Kira brushed Light's bangs behind his ear, _"You know that."_

Light felt uneasy feeling Kira's cold fingers fluttering in his hair. "I'm not hurting Sayu," He had a pained expression on his face.

"_Is my Light confused again?" _Kira asked squatting down beside Light so that they were eye level.

"No," Light muttered feeling tears prickling his eyes. "It's just that something inside me is telling me to listen to you, and it's getting harder and harder to fight." Light felt tears run down his face.

"_Why are you crying?" _Kira asked wiping the tears away with his hand.

"I-I don't know," Light said staring wide eyed at his hands. "Why do you care?"

"_I don't really care. It was just a question."_

"Well thanks for the sympathy," Light scoffed hugging his knees to his chest. He slowly scanned his room. He got up and unlocked his door, "I guess I better go back and make sure Ryuzaki is okay."

Kira outstretched his right arm closing the door when Light opened it. "Light…" Light was surprised by how loud he was. Kira's bangs hid his solemn expression.

"What are you doing? Let me out, Kira." Light tugged on the door again, but it remained closed. "Kira," Light glared at the figure that was becoming clearer and clearer with each passing moment.

Kira stood up leaning against the door.

"Kira, move," Light growled.

Kira smirked at him, "No."

Light pushed him causing no effect. Kira's smile grew at Light's efforts till he was chuckling_. "You're actually really weak, ya know?"_ He laughed as Light tried to move him.

Light pulled back scowling at him, "Why won't you move?"

"I want to spend some time with my Light," Kira muttered running his fingers through Light's hair. "Ryuzaki keeps getting in the way."

Light jerked away from Kira's hand which pressed his legs against his bed. "What are you talking about?"

Kira stepped towards him only making Light step back falling onto his bed. Kira pinned Light's wrists beside his head as he crawled over him. "Everything is Ryuzaki. I'm tired of Ryuzaki. I want to have some fun, Light."

Light tried to move his wrists that were held firmly in place by Kira's hands. He jerked up making his chest shoot up in an awkward way. He hoped it would surprise Kira enough to get him to move. Kira straddled Light's hips smirking as he stretched his entire body over Light. Light struggled to move, but failed miserably.

"Let go of me Kira!" Light growled at him.

"I don't think I will. I've been watching from the sidelines for quite some time, Light. I'm actually getting very curious." Kira tilted his head to one side. "What is it that you want most?"

Light stared at him in fear and curiosity. "I-I want to be with Ryuzaki." His chest started moving rapidly as his breathing accelerated.

"But you want to have your memories back, right?"

Light breathed searching for some type of answer inside himself. He was silent for a while. "I don't know."

"I think you do. You just don't want to fess up to it."

"Kira get off of me! I don't want to talk about this right now. I can't talk to you about this anyway."

"And why not?"

"You're not real! Y-you're just my former self."

"Wrong Light. I'm more than just a figment of your imagination. I'm also your past memories. Right now I'm actually physical, which means that I'm getting stronger. Light, you're the one who's making me stronger. I need you to do this for me in order to save both me and you."

Light bit his bottom lip thinking for a moment, "I can't kill Sayu."

Kira nuzzled Light's neck, "Please?"

Light was surprised. Was Kira actually begging? "I can't kill my own sister."

"I could help you do it."

"I-it's not a matter of physically not being able to do it. I can't kill my sister. I know I just met her and I barely know anything about her, but she's the only thing I have left. I can learn more about who I was from her…"

Kira smirked, "You wouldn't have to if you would just kill her. Then all your memories would return to you."

Light flinched a little when he felt Kira's lips trace his clavicle. "W-why does it have to be her?" Light asked quietly.

"It's not like you'd kill anyone else. She's in our way, Light."

"Please," Light begged almost whimpering. "I-I don't want to be a murderer…"

Kira tilted his head curiously to the right staring down at Light. "Light, I—"

"Are you alri—" L started as he enter Light's room. He saw Light being pinned down by… Light? No. The Light on top had scarlet gleaming eyes. Kira.

"Ryuzaki…" Light whispered quietly.

"Light," L nodded towards him. Then he glared at the red eyed figure, "Kira."

Kira chuckled, "Guess he got me. Bye Light," Kira smiled toothily at Light before disappearing.

L rushed over to Light, "Are you alright, Light?"

"I'm fine," He smiled sitting up.

"He didn't do anything to you, did he?"

Light chuckled half heartedly, "Nothing too terrible. C'mon let's go see Sayu."

* * *

Light fell asleep rather quickly. He was pretty much questioned by L the entire night or being probed by L's eyes. Light really didn't want to talk about Kira. He just wanted to sleep.

Sayu made them a giant Japanese feast filled with all types of cuisine that Light- to his knowledge- was unfamiliar with. They sat in the living room afterwards chatting and laughing at each other.

Light really loved Sayu. He built a familiar bond with the small brunette he'd met only a day ago. Light's eyes got wide. Two days ago, right? That means tomorrow is… Oh great.

"I hope they don't go all out," Light muttered quietly to himself closing his eyes. It _was _his birthday after all. His mind swirled with thoughts of all the possibilities. Light sighed sinking back down into the sheets smiling.

Light woke up to hear chuckling. He lowered his eyes in the dark looking at his clock. **24:47**.

"You're up early," Light snarled rubbing under his eyes.

"_I've been busy,"_ Kira smiled chuckling madly again.

Light cocked one of his eyebrows as he moved to get out of bed. He spotted something lying on the ground beside him making him stop dead in his tracks.

**L Lolliay**

**L Lawlié **

**Elle lawliette**

**L Lawliette**

**Ele Lawliet**

**L Lawliet**

**Sayu Yaga**

**Sayu Yagami**

"You didn't," Light asked in both surprise and dread.

"Oh I didn't. You did," Kira smiled.

Light looked at the pen in his right hand. How had he not felt that? He dropped it immediately rushing out of his room. "Sayu!"

**This chapter is super short! lolz. I didn't write anythis weekend cuz a friend and I switched flashdrives last weekend sooo... yeah!**

**Here's where I explain L's name, since I didn't last time.**

**I'm not sure if you pronounce Lawliet as (Lolli-ay) or (Lolli-ette) so if some1 could tell me the correct way to put it its greatly appretiated. **

**Man I felt a major Kingdom Hearts moment going on. 'You have to make my memories appart of you to fully awaken, Light."**

**I halfheartedly shouted, "No SORA!"**

**XDXDXD**

**Anyway super short, but really sad. :'( SAYU WHAT'S GOING TO HAPPEN TO YOU? (if you havent already figured it out)**


	15. Chapter 15

"Sayu," Light yelled running down the hallway. "Sayu!" He had tears streaming down his face. He quickly entered his sister's room seeing her sleeping softly in bed.

Sayu shifted slightly rubbing her eyes. "Light? Are you okay?"

Light ran over to Sayu quickly falling to his knees as he got to Sayu's bed. He searched Sayu's eyes then sighed in relief. "I am now…" He gripped her arm nuzzling it slightly and entwining his fingers with hers.

"Light, what are you—" Sayu clenched Light's hand feeling a great pain in her chest. Her breathing heightened as she felt a sharp pain in her chest. She winced arching her back and holding back coughs. She sucked in a breath of air only to feel it being cut off quickly. Her warm, brown eyes widened revealing every emotion in the colored iris. She felt cold and empty as she fell back on her pillow. Her eyes were slowly fading as they continued to stare widely at Light.

Light felt Sayu go limp. He clenched her hand, "S-Sayu." He could sense his tears returning look at his sisters now pale face. Her entire face was now emotionless. Light buried his head into Sayu's sheets letting them absorb his tears. "I'm so sorry, Sayu…"

"_You make it sound like it's a bad thing_," Kira whispered into Light's ear.

Light glared at his double wishing he could kill him himself. His sadness was being suppressed by his rage. "Why? Why did you do that?"

Kira shrugged, "_I told you I—"_

"You know what I mean, Kira. You manipulated me. Y-you made me write her name down and… and—"

"—_and you killed her."_

"No! I would never…" Light looked to both sides of him. "Where's Ryuzaki?" The question was more of a statement than a question. He was worried Kira might've done something to Ryuzaki. He'd noticed some sort of change, and with Sayu dead. Who knows what had become of him?

"_Out on some type of business. He got a call sometime in the night and left."_

Light sighed in relief at that and stroked his sister's hair. "…She looks scared." Light wiped his eyes sniffling as he did so.

"_Light I'm starting to fade,"_ Kira muttered making Light look at him.

In truth that's what was happening. Kira no longer had clear features. He'd become a shadow almost. His entire outline was getting harder and harder to see.

"_I'm almost gone…" _Kira smile knowing it was unreadable to Light.

Light stared at him with a dazed expression over his face. He watched as Kira slowly faded away and then Light realized it. He was alone. Aside from his dead sister Light was alone in that room. He felt the overpowering sadness wash over him again and he started soaking his sister's sheets again with his tears. It was the only thing he could think of doing at a time like this.

**THUD!**

Light turned his head swiftly to see what had made the noise. The sound made him jump. A few feet behind him in the center of Sayu's room was a thin, black notebook. It was leather bound and looked like any other notebook.

"That's strange," Light said quietly wiping his eyes. "I don't remember that being there before…"

Light stared curiously at the notebook. He stretched across the floor reaching for the notebook. He ignored the shouts in his head telling him to stop.

Light gripped the leather binding and instantly felt something awaken inside of him. He stared blankly at the ceiling as his eyes rolled back in his head. His head pulsed from the feeling of knowledge being forced into his mind. Light started screaming at the top of his lungs as he felt something inside his mind burst.

Light calmed himself momentarily. He blinked letting his eyes adjust to the new dimly lit room. Light smirked as he picked up the notebook flipping through the blank pages. He looked up and smiled, "It's been a while, Ryuk." Light slammed the book shut tracing the white words that spelled out **Death Note **on the cover.

A creature with a clown like face chuckled looking down at Light. He had a white face stretched over his high cheekbones. His eyes were a curious yellow with a red pupil. His mouth was always stretched in a grin had the familiar razor teeth sticking out of it from all directions.

Ryuk stretched out one of his spider like fingers, "I was about to think you'd forgotten me completely."

"How someone could forget a face like that I'll never know," Light said standing upright. He looked solemnly at his sister before looking back at his shinigami. "I really wish that was avoidable."

Ryuk shrugged, "She was gonna die anyway. Light-o do you have anything for me?" Ryuk's eyes danced greedily.

Light rolled his eyes, "Damn Shinigami. Is that all you can think about at a time like this?"

"I haven't tasted apples in over a year and you ask me something like that?" Ryuk gave him a knowing look.

Light sighed, "C'mon. I'll see if we have any."

Light walked down the stairs feeling Ryuk hovering behind him. He walked into the kitchen and saw a basket of apples pushed against the refrigerator on the counter. He motioned towards them as Ryuk pounced on them gobbling them up greedily.

Light leaned against the counter looking rather bored at the shinigami. "I'm surprised you didn't kill me Ryuk. I never would've suspected you'd hold out this long."

Ryuk talked between moments where he chewed up the apples. "Mmm… Yeah. I was going to…. But something more interesting happened." He wiped his mouth after finishing the apples. "And, plus, who else would I have gotten my beloved apples from?"

Light smirked while rolling his eyes, "Well at least I know I'm only heightening your addiction."

"Mmm, but what about yours?" Ryuk gave Light a toothy grin.

Light arched one of his eyebrows, "What are you talking about?"

It was Ryuk's turn to arch one of his eyebrows, "Huh? You mean you don't remember anything that happened after you lost your memories?"

Light shrugged, "It's a little hazy, but honestly no. I don't really care, though. I mean that happen after I lost my memories, and it was only a year, right? It's not like that much can change in a year."

Ryuk chuckled sinisterly, "Yeah, I guess you're right."

Light looked at the Death Note, he carried it down stairs with him. "So whose notebook was it this time?"

"I guess you could say I found it."

Light smiled, "Hopefully we won't be interrupted this time."

"I can't promise anything."

Light grinned at the possibility. He flipped through the blank pages aimlessly. "So who do you think should be first?" Light looked over at Ryuk who was scanning the kitchen for more apples.

"…Don't you know?" Ryuk was surprised by Light's lack of focus.

"Hmm… Well I didn't want to kill Near unless I had to. However, he did almost kill me. I guess he should be first."

"You don't think L would suspect you?"

Light thought for a moment. "I'm not exactly sure. He might. I guess we'll have to wait and see." Light smirked picking up the notebook and walking out of the kitchen.

He walked up to his room sitting at his desk. He pulled out a pen, but thought before actually writing anything. "I can't remember anyone else's name except for Stephen Loud and Halle Bullook. However, Mello and Matt are still alive…"

Ryuk shrugged, "It's not like I'm going to tell you their names."

Light glared at the shinigami then turned back to his notebook. He thought for a long moment before actually writing anything. "There!" Light sighed when he was finished.

**Nate River**

**Shot by one of his peers who goes crazy before shooting all of the other witnesses in the area including themselves. **

Light reclined back in his chair. "That ought to be enough to actually calm my nerves for now, and if anyone survives I can just kill them easily." Light looked at his clock. **2:57**.

"I guess I better go to sleep," Light sighed smiling to himself.

"What are you gonna do about Sayu?" Ryuk asked looking at the door.

"I'll take care of it tomorrow. I'm tired," Light said curling up in his sheet and sighing softly as he closed his eyes.

Ryuk chuckled as he thought; _I guess he really doesn't remember a thing about Ryuzaki and him. I wonder what's going to happen when Ryuzaki comes home… This is going to be interesting._

**Probably one of the shortest chapers I've done, but one of the most important. I'm tired... lolz**

**Light gained his memores (Yay!)**

**But Light can't (or doesn't choose to) remember anything that happened AFTER he lost his memories (DAMN IT ANIMANGA-LOVER)**

**Ryuk's back (whoot)**

**But he's not giving out info (Damn)**

**Guess you're gonna hafta wait Mwuahahahaha!**

**;3**


	16. Chapter 16

L really didn't know how to react. Near was dead. Gevanni was dead. Matt was shot. It wasn't exactly a bright and cheerful evening.

Near and Gevanni were having some type of argument. Matt had been with them all day and was telling L about some inferiority complex Gevanni was having. Then there was the position they both were in with Linder, who is currently in America.

He got a call from Mello at about 11 o'clock (24:00) to come and check out some of the local crime rates in Japan. They ended up leaving the investigation room to go out and buy some things for everyone in the room.

Mello got some chocolate, L bought a cake, they bought Matt a new packet of cigarettes and they got Near some puzzles to occupy his time. Matt stayed behind because he kept on going on and on about how he was about to defeat Xion and everything.

L and Matt returned to the Teito Hotel. As soon they entered the building Matt sent out a distress signal to them. Mello ran up to the room at full speed as panic swept through him. L followed behind him feeling Mello's distress. Matt wasn't one to ask for help unless it was dire. They ran up the stairs (elevator would've made Mello even more worried and it was too slow anyway) and burst into the room.

Blood wash slashed across the multiple computer screens. Gevanni was lying on the ground with his head blown open and a gun placed in his right hand. Near's frail body was laying over one of his large Lego structures with a dump truck under his right hand. He was the most disturbing sight.

Near's pale body made the dark red blood shine along his almost white skin. His white pajamas were blood soaked and wet. His white hair stuck to his skin as he eyes stared widely in shock and horror. The sight almost made L sick.

They heard a small whimper come from behind the couch. Mello ran towards the noise already feeling tears pierce his eyes. He held them back when he saw Matt. Matt had been shot in his side. His striped shirt was damp from both sweat and blood. However, Matt was still breathing. He was struggling to breath and he was holding his tears back in his orange goggles.

L immediately called for an ambulance. It wasn't like they could get Matt to the hospital in time on foot. Mello cradled Matt to his chest as he stroked his hair. "God please don't let him die. Please oh please don't let him die," Mello muttered as he kissed Matt's hair.

Matt was taken to the ambulance, but it was too late for Near and Gevanni. They both were dead, but there was a chance Matt would survive. The doctors put him on a ventilator and gave him some drugs to go to dull the pain.

L handed Mello Matt's DS that was slightly stained with blood. Mello opened it and smiled slightly. "_I watch you fast asleep, All I fear means nothing…" _Mello stared sobbing and laughing when the familiar started playing. _"In you and I there's a new land…"_

Mello wiped his tears away, "I… guess Matt finished his game…" He stared at the screen before sinking down and crying loudly. He gripped his head painfully. Mello never cried. L sank down next to him whispering words of comfort that Mello didn't hear thanks to his cries. He just sat there like that clutching his rosary.

They were out in the middle of the hallway of a hospital. The doctors were working on Matt in the next room. Mello was shaking his head back and forth saying silent prayers for Matt's survival. The doctors let the room talking amongst themselves paying no attention to Mello and L.

A nurse walked into Matt's room for a short moment. She was a short, petite woman with light brown hair and eyes. She left Matt's room quickly looking at her clip board then to the two males sitting outside Matt's door.

"Are you relatives?" She asked after gaining his information.

"I'm his father," L stated bluntly.

"I'm his brother," Mello almost shouted. He wanted to see Matt. That's all.

The nurse stared apprehensively at L who looked like he was Matt's age. "Adoptive father," L added.

The nurse nodded, "Alright well I need you to sign a few things and then you should go home. There's no chance he'll wake up tonight, so—"

"No," Mello cut her off. He gave her a threatening death glared with his cold blue eyes. "I'm. not. leaving."

The nurse shivered avoiding Mello's eyes. "V-very well." She opened the door and let them inside.

Matt was lying in his bed in the dark room. His mouth was covered by an oxygen mask. He was breathing shallowly, but he was breathing. His eyes were closed, but his goggles weren't in sight.

"Where are his goggles?" Mello asked as he leaned over the sleeping Matt.

"Oh we took those off of him since—"

"Where are his fucking goggles?" Mello yelled making the nurse jump.

The small woman grabbed the goggles off the counter holding them out to Mello who grabbed them. He cradled Matt's goggles close to him. The nurse quickly left.

"You know, she was only trying to help," L muttered after she was gone.

"Like I fucking care," Mello said.

L placed his hand on Mello's shoulder. "He'll be fine. Matt's strong."

Mello nodded incredulously. He was holding back more tears. "You better go. I'm staying here tonight."

L nodded already walking towards the door. "If Mello wants I can come visit him tomorrow?"

Mello shook his head, "No you don't have to… Tell Light I say, 'Happy birthday' okay?"

L nodded as he left. He muttered his thanks to the nurse from before and left the hospital. And now here he was walking mindlessly down the street not knowing how to react to the deaths of his collogues… no, err… family.

There was something missing. He felt different, but he didn't exactly know how or why. Something about his mind seemed different. Something was _missing._

L walked back to the Teito Hotel. He walked up to their room, which Near and Gevanni had been taken out of. L scanned the area. There was still blood everywhere. L walked into the room in a daze, but also in confusion. He looked around the room and saw one thing stand out to him.

One of the drawers were open. That was strange in itself. Near had always kept to himself, but Gevanni always made sure everything was perfect. L walked over to drawer and opened it slightly. There was the imprint of a rectangle there that looked at curiously. L closed the drawer and looked at the clock, **4:38**. L shook his head lightly, "I should get back to Light."

* * *

L stretched as he crawled into bed and curled his arms around Light's waist. Light yawned muttering incoherently in his sleep. L smiled solemnly, _If there is a god, please let Matt be safe. _

L continued his soft prayers until his eyes feel on the notebook that was lying open on Light's desk. L was actually curious to see if Light had written anymore in his notebook. He slowly lifted himself out of Light's bed and crossed over to his desk. He picked up the notebook and immediately felt his memories of the Death Note enter him.

L closed the notebook and rand his fingers, curiously over the cover. D-E-A-T-H N-O-T-E. His index finger traced the words out. L froze when he heard Ryuk chuckling. Light turned in his bed making a low groan, "Shut up, Ryuk…"

L looked back at Light with a worried look. He walked out of the room and stepped into the bathroom. After he closed the door behind him, he let the lights flicker on. His heart pounded louder when it was the Death Note in his now trembling hands. He opened the cover.

**Nate River**

**Shot by one of his peers who goes crazy before shooting all of the other witnesses in the area including themselves. **

L almost dropped the notebook. He gazed in some astonished wonder. Light had gotten all of his memories back. He killed Near. But what possessed him to write in it in the first place?

"He he. It's good to see you again, L," Ryuk chuckled behind L.

L lowered his eyes at the Shinigami in the mirror. He bit his thumb slightly. "I've reached a dilemma haven't I?"

Ryuk continued to laugh, "I'll say. Light doesn't remember anything that happened between you two. He thinks it's... irrelevant."

L tilted his head to one side, "Why are you telling me this?"

Ryuk shrugged, "I don't know. I just want see what you're going to do."

L thought for another long moment before stuffing his hands in his pockets. He touched something cold and smooth. He pulled out some familiar _items_. He looked at them nervously then sighed. "I guess I'll have to improvise."

**URGH! SO SHORT. I promise the next chapter will be longer. I'm sorry it took me so long to post this chapter, but I've had a VERY busy week. more family issues, which are for my problems not urs. please enjoy.**

**BTW you get a virtually cupcake if you can guess what _items _L has in his pocket. I'll give you a hint. They're all the same thing.**

**Lol hope you enjoyed TBC!**


	17. Chapter 17

17

Light yawned stretching as he turned over, or at least tried to turn over. He looked up at the head board tugging at his arms. There were steel handcuffs holding him in place on the bed. _What the hell?_ Light thought to himself as he continued to pull at his arms.

Ryuk laughed as he watched Light struggling. "Finally awake?"

Light scowled at the amused shinigami, "Ryuk, what's going on? Did you do this?"

"Hardly," He chuckled biting into an apple he seemed to pull out of nowhere.

"Where'd you get apples? I thought you ate them all last night."

Ryuk hummed to himself ignoring Light. Light growled at him, "You are so dead when I get out of these!" He made an effort to sit up, but failed. He violently pulled at the handcuffs.

"You can't kill a shinigami that easily, Light," Ryuk laugh swallowing the apple.

Light fell back on the headboard,"Damn Shinigami."

There were two knocks at the door and L entered the room. "You shouldn't pull on those," He said noticing Light's struggle. "You could hurt yourself."

"W-what are you doing here Ryuzaki?" Light's eyes grew wide when he saw the detective. "You can't come into my house like this. It's illegal!"

"It's not illegal when Sayu gave me the spare key," L said taking it out of his pocket and showing it to Light. "That being said, I think you don't have the right to call someone evil, Kira. "

Light smiled sinisterly, "Touché… So what now? I know you're not going to kill me since you didn't when you had the chance. Are you going to burn that Death Note as well and make me forget again? "

L sighed pulling out the notebook that was stuffed in the front of his jeans. "If I burn the notebook we'll both loose our memories and I retain mine if I'm constantly touching the notebook. You should know that much."

Light arched one of his eyebrows, "What do you mean 'that much'?"

L sat on the edge of Light's bed, "You know Gevanni shot Matt? Mello is really upset right now… I don't believe I've ever seen him cry like that…"

Light gave L a confused look. The names and some of the faces were familiar, but he really didn't care that Matt was dying.

"When you lost your memory, Mello and you were the best of friends and—"

"I don't care about what happened back then. It doesn't matter. It's stupid to rely on the past when I couldn't remember anything." Light didn't meet L's eyes that were staring intently at him.

"Are you afraid?"

"Of what? I don't anything to be scared of. I just think it's pointless to rely on something that's nothing but a lie."

"That's ironic. Seeing as how you lie all the time."

"Don't give me that! You could tell the truth if your life depended on it." Light felt strange. There was a familiar tension between them, but it wasn't hostile. It was more like friendly or a joke.

"I tell the truth to you," L said starting straight into Light's eyes.

Light blushed slightly, "W-what are you doing here, Ryuzaki? Are you the one who put me in these handcuffs? Why did you—"

"You still talk way too much," L said shaking his head slowly.

Light immediately shut up. He studied L who seemed to be more sad than usual. "Is something wrong, Ryuzaki?"

L thought for a moment looking down at his lap, "No… I'm fine. You should get some sleep."

"Ryuzaki—" Light started to protest.

"Good afternoon," L bowed leaving the room.

"RYUZAKI," Light yelled at the top of his lungs. He pulled hard on the handcuffs. He fell back hard against his mattress. He was already sweating and panting heavily. He angrily slammed his eyes shut. He wasn't tired. He just knew if he had to do something sleeping would pass time.

* * *

_Why am I so scared? I don't understand what's going on. Ryuzaki is pulling me in a direction, but I'm not sure what he's going to do? Where are we going?_

_Ryuzaki turns to face me. I stay where I am feeling my nervousness overwhelm me. What's going on?_

_Ryuzaki brushes my cheeks softly placing a kiss on my forehead. He places his forehead where he kissed me so he could stare into my eyes. "So is Light saying he is homosexual?"_

_What? I'm not—"O-only if it's Ryuzaki," I stammered out. What?_

_Ryuzaki tilted his head to the side, "Only me? You say you'll only be happy with me?"_

_Like hell I will! I nodded nervously. What the hell? Why am I not doing what I'm thinking?_

_Ryuzaki raised a corner of his mouth slightly so that it didn't look like a gesture of any kind. He pressed his lips softly against Light's ever so slowly. He stepped back and whispered, "Me too…" _

_No. No. No. Oh hell no! I'm not doing this. I can't be having a freaking wet dream and with Ryuzaki? When did—How did this happen? It's not like THAT much could've changed during the past year. For one thing I'm not—What's he doing?_

_Ryuzaki brushed his hands slowly against my pants tugging at the buttons. I didn't move away. Why am I not moving away? His hands are actually inside my pants now and they're… Oh God that feels good. No! I can't believe I'm doing this! I need to wake up! _

_Go away! Run away! Run far away! Ryuzaki stared at me with his usual panda eyes. How had I not recognized how big his eyes are? That's probably from all the sugar he eats. I wonder how he—Ryuzaki gripped my cock tightly and twisted slightly making me moan. I have to get away from here. This has gone way too far…_

* * *

Light's eyes shot open. He was panting rapidly and sweating. Ryuk was across the room staring humorously at Light. Light's arms felt heavy and burned. They felt limp from being held over his head. He felt back sighing in relief. "…Ryuk, I don't think I'll like what I'll find when I look back on the past year."

"Does that mean you're actually going to remember everything?"

"I guess I have to. Something came up that I can't ignore…"

"I thought that was an inconvenience," Ryuk chuckled.

"Oh believe me, it is. I just feel like something happened and if I neglect to look back on everything that happened this time it might hurt me later."

Ryuk laughed heartily, "I hope you like what you're looking for."

Light fought the urge to growl, but he knew Ryuk meant well. He sat back on his bed and stared at the ceiling remembering back to the day he lost his memories.

_"… You and your family were out for a drive and a car ran a stop sign. He slammed right into you. You suffered with some head injuries, but your family didn't make it. I'm Ryuzaki, your friend…"_

"_Ryuzaki, look! It's raining. It's so beautiful!"_

"_What are they doing?"_

_"Why not? We love each other don't we?"_

"_I love you, Ryuzaki!"_

Light cursed under his breath. "This is going to be difficult, Ryuk."

"What is, Light-Kun?" L asked making Light jump.

Light sighed making his heart slow. He stared back at L who was sitting beside his bed in a chair. His eyes looked somewhat swollen. "Have you been crying Ryuzaki?"

L seemed hesitant to answer Light's question. He coughed a little, "What I do in private is none of your concern."

Light gave him a small concerned smile then shook it off remembering his dream. "You came back here?"

"It's not like I'm going to leave you here by yourself," L muttered stabbing his cake with his fork.

"That's not very nice," Ryuk replied sarcastically. "I'll be here."

"You'd leave in about ten minutes considering you don't have any apples," L shot back not looking at the shinigami.

Ryuk nodded, "True…"

"Oh so you're going to let me go?" Light inquired already knowing the answer.

"No, but I do have important reasons for being here." L looked square into Light's eyes then pulled up his lips into a creepy grin stretched across his face. "Otanjou-bi Omedetou Gozaimasu. Happy birthday, Light."

Light arched one of his eyebrows. "You stayed to tell me that?"

"That's one of the reasons," L said licking his cake. He turned around extending one of his arms to Light's dresser. He picked up another plate with a fork and set it on Light's stomach. "I brought you a piece as well."

"Um… thank you? Why did you—"

"You can't have a birthday without cake," L noted stabbing at his own cake again and raising it to his mouth. "…Besides you must be hungry. Just eat it. I made it myself."

Light was feeling hungry, but not exactly starving. He had eaten the day before. It wasn't like he'd been this way for days or weeks. "How do you expect me to eat it?" Light asked noting his bound hands.

L stabbed Light's cake with his fork and held it in front of Light's lips. Light focused hard on the sugar mass giving it a look of disgust. "I was just kidding, Ryuzaki. You know I don't like sweets."

L didn't move. Light rolled his eyes and forced the cake into his mouth. Light chewed trying not to- and failing- make a face. He swallowed the sugary mass and coughed. "That's too sweet!" He continued coughing until he settled back against the headboard.

"This is hardly anything, Light," L said eating more of his cake.

"Easy for you to say. You eat like this all the time. How is it that you don't have diabetes or something?"

"What if I told you I was a boarder-line diabetic?" L asked arching his eyebrows at Light.

"I'd say that's complete bullshit."

L frowned at Light's language. "You don't gain or lose anything if you use your brain."

Light rolled his eyes frowning in silence. He closed his eyes and listened to only L's chewing and breathing.

"So Light," L said pulling Light out of his thoughts, "have you remembered anything?"

Light sighed, "I know about everything that happened, I just… don't know if I want to believe it or not."

"What parts are you having trouble believing?" L placed his empty plate on the floor then took the cake that was on Light's stomach.

Light blushed slightly not meeting L's eyes, "L-like I'd tell you!"

Ryuk chuckled while realizing Light's insecurity. His eyes danced amongst the two males as he watched the scene intently. He really wasn't interested in the lovey dovey moments between them, but he was curious to see what L would do. L definitely wasn't as submissive as he was without memories, so what now?

"That's strange since you used to tell me a lot of things…"

Light actually got angry at this comment. "That wasn't me."

"Really? Then who was it?" Light's repeated response was making L angry too. He didn't mean to make his question as smug as it sounded.

"I didn't know what I was doing at that time, so don't you dare blame me! It's your fault. Y-you could've said something. You could've stopped—"

L jumped on top of Light pinning him down underneath him. He rarely got angry, but he hated how Light was acting. "Light, you know everything that happened wasn't my fault. _You _were the one who asked me to do everything. I'm not the one to blame here. You are."

Light gave him a terrified look. His eyes darted from every direction searching L's face. "But that's—that can't be right! You were the one who—"

"You asked me, Light. You practically begged me for some kind of physical contact." L tilted his head to one side, "I tried to avoid you, but you're a very curious person Light. Even when I told you the truth and that I lied to you. I thought that'd push you away and that you'd hate me. However, you seemed to hate yourself even more! I didn't want to see you like that! It hurt me, Light… And then when you were put in the hospital I thought, 'Don't make me lose him.' I—you know I've loved you. I told you I did. Before you tried to kill me… I tried to hold back when you lost your memories _because_ it was like you were a different person. I didn't want your memories to return everything go back to the way it was. I didn't want to hurt like that again." L gave Light a pleading look. His heart ached as he tried to steady himself.

Light studied L for about three seconds. "So you want _me _to apologize?"

L shook his head, "I just want you to know my intentions before you start accusing me of something."

Light chuckled that time, "Now you know how I feel."

L stared at Light somewhat confused then he remembered all the moments with Light being Kira and how L accused him. It almost made him smile. "Yes, I suppose that's true," L muttered before he pressed his lips on Light's. He missed the feeling of Light's warm, soft lips, since they hadn't kissed all morning like they usually did. However, the kiss only lasted for about three seconds.

"What are you doing?" Light said quickly turning away and glaring at L. "I don't care what happened in the past. I'm not gay. I don't want you kissing me and feeling me up every chance you get!" Even though in the back of his mind he thought L's lips felt soft and tasted sweet.

L tried to hide himself from smirking, "You're in no position to talk." He stared up at Light's hands that were secured on the bed post. He kissed Light's again, but not forcibly. He placed soft little kisses along Light jaw as Light tried to move.

Ryuk was chuckling behind them, "Ryuzaki never seemed like the type of person to use force."

L turned his head slightly so that he was looking at Ryuk. "I'm not forcing anything. It's just kissing, and if you don't mind I'd rather not have commentary about everything that Light and I do. There's a small grocery store on the next street, Ryuk. If you want you can eat as much apples as you want," L cursed himself for promoting the shinigami to steal, but he really didn't care at the moment.

Ryuk's eyes sparkled almost like a child's as he ran out the door yelling, "APPLES!"

"No Ryuk," Light called, "He's just bribing you!"

"I'll take any type of bribery if it involves apples," Ryuk yelled continuing down the hall.

"But what about me Ryuk? You have to save me!"

"Screw you. I'm going to go get some apples!"

"RYUK," Light yelled after Ryuk was already gone.

L stared back at Light with an amused expression in his eyes. "I have to wonder Light. Did you miss me?" He laid beside resting his head on Light's chest.

Light blushed wildly, "O-of course, Ryuzaki."

L looked back into Light's eyes, "Then let me do this." L rested his left hand on Light's cheek as he kissed Light's lips again. He nibbled Light's bottom Light making Light squirm, but he soon complied. L searched the Light he knew so well's mouth. This Light was much more aggressive than the old Light. He fought against L's tongue but soon relax at the feeling of L kissing him.

L tasted like strawberries and sugar. Light felt heated sparks in the kiss even when they pulled apart he felt it there. It was different than the dull sparks he had between Misa, which couldn't even be considered as sparks. He pushed the thoughts away staring blankly back at L, who was getting off Light's bed.

"Where are you going?" Light asked suddenly wanting the detective to stay longer.

"I'm not going to do anything too extreme to you, Light. You only just got your memories back, and as you said before; you were confused."

Light gulped slightly contemplating what he should say next. "Where are you going?"

"_We're_ going to the hospital," L said pulling a small, metal key out of his pocket. He unlocked Light's right hand from the bed, and unlocked the left handcuff that was attached to the bed. He left the left handcuff around Light's wrist and attached the other end to his own right wrist. "I'm sorry I don't have a longer pair of handcuffs, but I hope will suffice."

Light nodded, "If you think I need to be dragged around like this then by all means.

L walked to the door pulling the auburn man behind him. "I hope you don't mind walking. Watari isn't around to take me anywhere and I don't feel right taking your sister's car."

"By all means."

"Well… let's go."

**TBC**

**lol. I enjoyed writing this. It felt wierd, since light wasn't innocent as usual. :'( I miss u uke Light but u will return!**

**Uke Light: Really?**

**Me: idk maybe.**

**lolz I hope you enjoyed. next chapter they go to the hospital. you might be able to connect the dots from there. thank you for reading. This chapter was longer than the last ones Yay! ^^**


	18. Chapter 18

Light was anxious. Not because of the stares he got from the people on their way to the hospital, but because of what he'd have to go through since Mello would be waiting for them. He didn't like feeling afraid. That was rare for him and he hate Mello for making him feel this way. If he had the Death Note… no, if he even knew where it was. If he knew L, he hid it in a box, or something. However, L still knew about the Death Note so he must have it on him somewhere. Then again, L did remember everything when Light had lost his memories…

Anyway, they walked into the hospital receiving the familiar curious looks from the other nurses and doctors. They ignored them as they walked into Matt's room. Matt was still asleep, but he didn't look as bad as he did last night. Mello was leaning onto Matt's bed sleeping. He shot up when he heard footsteps behind him, "Is he alr—L, what are you doing here?"

"We're going to come until Matt's better," L said. "Uh, Mello, may I talk to you for a second? In private…"

Mello cocked one of his eyebrows, "Shouldn't you and L be celebrating or something?"

"Why would we be doing that?"

"It's Light's birthday…" Mello stared hard at them. Light seemed different. His expression was sterner and he held himself with more arrogant confidence. He noticed L and Light's stance and realized there were handcuffs attaching the two males together. "Are you guys playing a penalty game or something?"

L stared at the handcuff and sighed. He unlocked his wrist and attached Light to the rod that hung about a foot from Matt that was to hide anyone from seeing him changing or operating. Light glared at L as he tugged on his arm. "I'll be right back," L said.

"Like it matters," Light muttered. He wasn't going to be pulled into L's game. Something had to be going on in his head. L motioned for Mello to follow him and He left with L. Light looked up at his arm then at Matt. His thoughts began to roam…

_He DID oppose me. Shouldn't I at least try to kill him?_

_No! Uncle Matt didn't do anything. He doesn't deserve to be treated like this. It's wrong._

_Uncle? Where'd that come from? It doesn't matter whether it's wrong or not. Matt opposed me. Therefore, he should be punished._

_Matt opposed KIRA. I was nothing to him._

_Idiot. Kira and Light are one in the same. Go for it. L's not going to let Mello hurt you and Matt's going to be gone before you can do anything about it…_

Light smirked. His eyes flickered with a dark, red color. He looked at the iron pole that held him in place. He saw how loose it was in the wall. He tugged hard on the pole trying to keep himself from laughing as he pulled.

* * *

"What's up with him? You two fight or something?" Mello asked as they stepped out of the room.

"Has anyone else been here today?" L asked avoiding the question.

"Huh? Oh, Aizawa was here and Matsuda…Oh yeah, and so was Mogi. They all came after they heard about what happened. Ide would've come also, but he had some type of business trip." Mello shrugged, "They just came to offer condolences nothing big. What happened, L? You're avoiding my questions?"

L sat in a chair in one of the waiting rooms that was surprisingly empty. "Light got his memory back last night." He rested his head back on the wall feeling both relief and fear in his words.

"Really? So he didn't take to kindly to the fact that you two have been fucking each other?" Mello asked sitting in a chair beside L.

L growled at the use of Mello's language, "I don't think that's a very appropriate way of saying it, but yes. He wasn't too thrilled about that part, but there's more."

Mello leaned forward giving L a curious look, "What is it?"

L was reluctant to reveal this to Mello of all people, but he had to. Better now than regret it later. "Light wrote Sayu's name in the Death Note and got his memories back."

"What possessed him to write Sayu's name in the Death Note?"

L shook his head, "I don't know, but I think Kira was involved. Something about Light's memories re-emerging or something."

Mello nodded, "Sorry, that's gotta be tough. I hope everything works out for the better." Mello got up and started walking out of the waiting room.

L grit his teeth as Mello started walking. Did he really have to tell him EVERTHING? "Mello," Of course, "There's more."

Mello stopped dead in his tracks, "What do you mean 'there's more'?"

L gave him a solemn look, "I found the notebook when I got home… Near's death was staged," L tried to find something nicer than saying "Light killed Near and Gevanni, and is basically responsible for Matt being in the hospital."

"What are you saying, L? Are… you trying to tell me that that whole fight between them was fake?" Mello's eyes were a striking, evil, sapphire blue as he seemed to growl out the words.

L shrugged, "I'm not sure it's possible. However, Gevanni pulling out his gun was a manipulation brought upon by the Death Note."

Mello winced letting out his next sentence, "So you're telling me that Matt's in the hospital because of Light?"

There was an awkward silence in the waiting area as L contemplated his words. "…Yes…"

Mello clenched his fists looking back at Matt's room, which was across the hall, but the nurse's office stood in their way. Matt was in the hospital because of Light. Matt could've died because of Light. Mello started shaking angrily as he darted towards Matt's room.

L jumped out of his seat chasing after him, "Mello wait!"

Of course, Mello _was _an ex-mafia boss. You don't just become a mafia boss. You train and kill and work your way up to earn the right to be called "Boss". Mello was ten times faster than L and was filled with anger, a thing that fueled him.

The nurses gave the males an awkward look. Mello ran around the administrative desk while L just planned to run through it. He almost ran into a nurse, but dodged her and jumped over the desk so he could cut Mello off. He pushed Mello against a wall that was almost beside Matt's door.

"Mello, I know you're angry, but you can't just do things without thinking," L pretty much grunted everything he said since Mello was struggling to get away from him. "Listen to me Mello—" Mello elbowed L in the ribs making him stumble to the ground. Mello, not bothering to apologize, ran to Matt's room and ran into the room. He froze.

The iron pole that was once there to hold up that small curtain was now on the floor. Light was staring at Matt with some unknown expression on his face with his hands around Matt's neck. Light's red eyes sparkled with a foggy haze over them. Tears spilled out of his eyes as he continued to stay where he was. He tried to tighten his hands, but they stayed still. Light winced forcing himself to tighten his grip and failing.

He stared madly at his hands, removing them from Matt's neck. "I… can't do it," Light said incredulously. "Why can't I—"

"Light," L asked walking into the room holding his side.

Light's gaze flashed from his hands to L. His eyes filled with horror, "Why can't I kill him? I've done it so many times before, so why not now?" Light looked up at L and shouted, "What did you do to me?" Light fell to his knees staring at his hands. Mello rushed over to Matt who was breathing normally and unharmed. L started walking to Light who noticed this. "No! S-stay away from me," Light shifted trying to get away from L.

L caught Light by the shoulders, "What did you do?"

"Nothing!" Light started crying, "That's why I'm asking; what did you do? I've never been afraid to kill someone, so why now?"

L was slightly surprised by Light's outburst, but he was happy. He didn't want Matt to die and he certainly didn't want Light to be a killer again. He sighed and cradled Light who only struggled in his arms. "The more you struggled the tighter I'll hold you," L warned making Light calm down.

Mello sat by Matt's bed staring at L and Light. It was weird how Light was so opposed about being with him when it was obvious that he still had feelings for him. He reclined back in his chair, "So what are we gonna do, L?"

L shook his head pulling away from Light and just sat by the door. "I don't know," He replied honestly. He didn't plan for Light to try and kill Matt _physically._ He wasn't feeling very good about his new love. It's not like he'd have Light all to himself. What's more he'd have to face the power of the Death Note. It was obvious that he wasn't going to put Light in prison. If anything constant surveillance was his best option.

Mello was thinking up more gruesome things to do to him. He wanted him to pay for what he did to Matt. However, something held him back. He didn't know what it was, but he just felt like Light still had some innocence left.

"Oh my," A petite nurse came in examining the small room. "What happened here?"

Mello rolled his eyes. NOW someone seems to care. He sighed, "Maybe it was wrong to bring Light here. You should go home."

L felt terrible. He wanted to stay, but he knew Mello was right. L clasped his wrist back to Light's. Light felt alarmed by the fact that he couldn't kill Matt. Why? He could kill Near but not Matt? Why? Why? Why!

Everyone's mind was riddled with the same questions. L and Mello wanted to know what happened. Why was Light acting like this? Is he going to battle with Kira and suppress him (for more reasons unknown to them)? And if Light had any compassion or emotions towards L, what would happen if the time came that Kira told Light to kill L?

**XD This chapter sucked... I kind of blanked out and one night I was feeling like Mello and was like "IM GONNA FUCKING KILL YOU!" Then it's like in the middle of that I was like "huh, I'm not mad at you any more? No? Ok i'm just gonna sit down and forget about everything that just happened."**

**Yeah. Feel free to give me some ideas b/c I know how I'm going to end it, but I'm trying to lead up to it. IDK give me some inspiration, or don't. Thanks 4 reading and reviewing. BYE!**

**TBC**


	19. Chapter 19

L hated this. He hated everything about this. He wanted this to just be over. He'd been dragged down too far and was now overwhelmed. Of course, that was L. He always had a complex interior that contributed to his vast array of knowledge and ability to solve any kind of problem. It was in his nature to be overcome with more than one emotion at a time. It was also in his nature to conceal every emotion inside himself and build a barrier. He wasn't bothered by the problems of others and kept to himself. It was easier than being overwhelmed by all the different emotions inside of him. He would never get too involved.

Light was confused… and angry and scared. He couldn't understand what was happening to him. He was feeling grief, hatred, betrayal and a whole mixture of several different emotions. He was an intelligent and well-mannered young man who always had a plan. He didn't like surprises and always had a say in something. He was a master in the art of lying and could manipulate almost anyone to get what he wanted. Almost.

His mind was running around in circles. He was convulsing and twisting around on his bed trying to make sense of everything. The one thought running through his mind; he was trapped. He hadn't thought everything through and now he was trapped. What was he supposed to do? His mind was split in half. He didn't know whether he should just give in to everything and stay with Ryuzaki or kill everyone and continue with his plot to rule the Earth. That was his goal after all.

Light slumped over tugging at his wrists that were, of course secured in handcuffs. Of course L wasn't going to trust him enough to move around freely! Light was in trouble. He didn't understand any of the thoughts that were battling inside his head. He had many questions and memories that kept holing him back from saying anything. He shivered when L walked back into his room.

"I guess Ryuk won't be back anytime soon. He's been gone for quite a while, though." Light was silent as L sat down in the chair beside Light's bed. "Maybe he'll return soon… What do you think, Light?"

"What did you to Sayu?"

"I simply disposed of her body." Obvious answer.

"How is it that you were able to remember everything after you burned the Death Note?"

"I had a Death Note of my own," L rolled his eyes. Light wanted to ask questions. Great.

"Where'd you get a Death Note?"

"Remember when Near switched Mikami's notebook? We had that notebook and then yours."

Light nodded, "I'm sorry for all the sudden questions."

_No you're not, _L thought. He knew Light always had to know everything. He hated answering questions that Light already knew the answer of. He sighed. _At least he's speaking to me…_

"Ryuzaki, what am I going to do?"

"What are you talking about? Why would you ask me of all people about your plans?" L wasn't angry or necessarily surprised. He wasn't expecting Light's sudden question, though.

Light rolled his head on his pillow. "We used to talk about a lot of things. Hey Ryuzaki, am I still your first and only friend?" Light's eyes shined with the familiar innocent caramel sparkle L was familiar with as he looked up at L curiously.

"Light, you know that's not possible. I've many friends before I met you."

"Then why did you tell me that?"

"Because you were Kira."

Light shrunk a little at that statement. "It seems a lot of things have been happening because of Kira… Did you tell me anything else… because I was Kira?" Light slightly smirked at this comment.

L scowled, "Are you suggesting that I had something to do with you sleeping with me?"

"L I know you had to have had some part. I mean, it is sex. However, I was just thinking if I might have been influenced by your words in any way."

"I would never do that to an innocent person…"

Light winced and then screamed, "When will you understand we're the same people? I'll never forgive you for this, Ryuzaki!"

"That's very fair; since I've forgiven you about the times you've tried to kill me." That was true. Light had tried to kill L more than three times and he still forgave him.

"You have to twist my words around in some way so you can have the last say in everything."

"Well we all can not be as kind hearted as you."

"And then you're monotone like always. You always throw my word to me with some emotionless comment."

"Oh, so you want to see some emotions come out of me?" L almost stood up, but remained sitting.

"That would be appreciated."

L leaned forward slightly, "You're in no position to be mouthing off."

L was still monotone, but fear flashed through Light's eye as he stared up at his handcuffs. "You wouldn't…"

L sighed, "I would if I was pushed far enough. You need to learn how to accept facts." L reached in his pocket and unlocked Light's wrists. "I'm tired of this really. You usually handle information very well."

"Why'd you unlock my hands?" Light rubbed his wrists in response.

"I made dinner," L said pulling Light off of his bed. "Come on. It's still your birthday. I'm at least going to do something nice." L made Light follow him down stairs.

Light felt awkward. They were just fighting and now they're going to eat dinner? He hated it when people got bipolar like this, but he was grateful. He didn't like being in the handcuffs. "You really didn't have to do this."

"I know," L stated bluntly, "but I did. It's just curry rice, Light." L walked over to the table and sat at the end closest to the wall. Light followed and sat on the opposite side. L had already set the table with the colorful curry rice and some tea. Light was apprehensive knowing the detective's sweet tooth. L raised up his tea, "Itadakimasu."

"Huh?" Light stared up at L. "Oh, itadakimasu," He said taking his tea and drinking it. This all seemed very familiar, but very foreign at the same time. "Ah, thank you," Light said remembering his manners.

_You fool! Don't thank him!_ A loud angry voice shouted in the back of Light's mind.

L took about two bites and then gave the rest to Light. He got full actually very easily but always craved sweets. To Light's surprise the curry was savory and good. Now what was he supposed to do? It was awkward to be in the same room with Ryuzaki considering their… "brief past." He was torn between two different emotions.

He finished his portion very quickly, but didn't take L's. He also ate very little. L stood up and walked to the living room and started channel surfing. He was seriously bored. He started watching CSI, but solved the entire case before head watched five minutes of it. He ended up watching some anime about some high school girls, who looked like they were five, dance around in sailor uniforms.

Light stood up after eating and joined L on the couch. He laid his head on L's shoulder and closed his eyes.

"Light?" L said after a few moments of watching the show feeling utterly bored but suddenly craving cream puffs.

"Mmm…" Light said nodding his head, but not opening his eyes.

"Are you tired?"

"No…" Light muttered sitting up straight and crossing his arms. L shrugged and began channel surfing again. Light's head started bobbing up and down as he fell in and out of consciousness. He finally gave in and started sleeping.

L didn't take notice until Light fell on him. He analyzed the sleeping Male and sighed. He turned off the television and sank down underneath the other male. He played with Light's locks for a moment before getting bored and staring at the ceiling.

Light groaned for a brief second and rubbed his eyes. "Ryuzaki?"

"Yes," L asked coming back to reality.

"We need to go to sleep…"

"You were asleep."

"Really? Were you?" Light yawned laying his head on L's chest. He wasn't concerned with the whole homosexual death penalty relationship they had just formed. He was just tired.

"No."

"You should. It can't be healthy to stay up like that."

"Since when do you care about my health?"

Light smiled before falling back asleep…"R-Ryuzaki?"

"Hmm?" L muttered trying to figure if he was incoherent or not.

"You still remember me right?"

L sat up forcing Light to wake up slightly. "Come on. You should get some sleep," L supported Light on his shoulders. He helped Light up to his room and onto his bed. He left and slept in Light's parent's room. He sat on the bed and soon snuggled under the silk sheets. He could feel the moist droplets forming in his eyes and quickly shut them out. He wasn't going to cry at a time like this.

"Ryuzaki, you always sleep with me at night," L turned over and saw Light standing in the doorway. He rubbed his sleepy eyes and yawned. "Have you gotten tired of me?"

What was going on? A few hours ago Light was telling him to back off. Now he's getting upset for sleeping in a different bed alone? Unless Light's true nature and feelings come out when he's weak and tired like this… No that's completely insane! So why was he acting like this now? "I thought you'd want to sleep by yourself to night.

Light walked and got into the bed and snuggled close to L. "I like this much better… Oh, Ryuzaki, I have something to tell you that might help you." Light leaned over L's ear and whispered, "I'm sorry. Just give it some time. I'm sure he'll come around. Don't push yourself too hard. I don't want you to get hurt during all of this. So please if things don't go smoothly in the next few weeks kill me." L stared at Light with scared eyes. "I know it'll be hard, but if I do anything to cause anyone else pain or misery just kill me."

L shook his head, "I can't promise that…"

Light smiled and softly kissed L. "Then let's hope things work out for the best, ya?"

L woke up the next morning. He was alone and cold. He knew that something needed to be done. He needed to put an end to Kira. He still had time. And he was not going to lose Light. Not yet at least.

**TBC**

**Sorry 4 the wait. School's getting seriously hectic. This chapter was okay... I'm trying to lead it to a good part and I think I just got an idea for it. About this Light that comes in out of no where. I seriously just felt like putting him in here like some supernatural force. O.O Supernatural Uke Light XDXDXD Idk when the next chapter will be done. Soon I hope. You ppl are no help at all. I'm like "GIVE ME INSPIRATION!" And all of you are like "RAWR WRITE MORE!" lolz. I'm trying! It's hard to be a hard working honor student and a fanfiction writer at the same time! lol but thanks for the reviews I really appretiate them. I hope you've enjoyed it so far. Thanks!**


	20. Chapter 20

L walked down the hall and opened Light's door. He was asleep as usual. It's been three days since Light regained his memories, Matt was still in the hospital with no change and Ryuk had raided every single grocery store with in the area and had stolen all of their apples. L resumed his daily routine that was checking up on Light then going down stairs and making some tea. He usually made breakfast for Light, but he was feeling really sluggish and tired. He was supposed to be getting a call from Mello soon concerning Matt. That made L anxious.

After he made his tea he walked back into the living room and sat on the couch in the living room stirring his tea as he dropped in three cubes of sugar and watching them dissolve before adding in three more cubes. Behind him he heard the Shinigami panting heavily as he writhed on the table behind L. Ryuk had literally eaten every apple in the grocery stores in the area and was now going through his "withdrawal" symptoms. He was stretched across the table distorting his body into odd shapes. L was getting annoyed by it which was rare for him. "It's your own fault," L said.

Ryuk groaned, "Easy for you to say. Apples are different for you. What if you couldn't eat sugar anymore?"

"I've had to endure," L sipped his tea. "I had diabetes at one point… but I overcame it."

"Huh? You can't overcome diabetes it is incurable." Ryuk tilted his head to the side.

"You can get over such tragedies with the right brain power. Then one day I was told that I now was a borderline diabetic, so I ate as much sugar as possible and then discovered that if you—"

"You don't make any sense…"

"…That was supposed to be a joke, Ryuk."

"Could've fooled me," Ryuk chuckled then groaned as his body became a pretzel.

"I'm sure it would be hard to believe for some people." L said taking another sip of his tea.

Light yawned as he entered the living room rubbing his eyes. "Good morning…" He sighed as he stumbled into the room.

"Light would you believe me if I told you I was a borderline diabetic?"

Light paused. _Random question first thing in the morning._ "I'm sure it's possible, but I don't exactly believe it."

"It was a joke…" L scowled into his tea."

"You shouldn't joke about something like that, Ryuzaki. It's not fair to the people who have diabetes. Borderline or not."

L rolled his eyes, "You're right. Stupid little—"

"What was that?"

"What I didn't hear anything."

Light arched one of his eye brows, "Okay… Hey, what's for breakfast?"

"I didn't make anything… but you can make something if want to."

Light got cold and still. He gulped, but L didn't notice. "Umm… Yeah I'll make breakfast… and it'll be ten times better than that crap you make for me." He flinched. _Great Light, you've just created a challenge. You know you can't cook. _When Light lost his memories he really didn't know how to use a stove. However, Light really didn't know how to cook. Period. He knew he was in deep water when he challenged L.

"Oh really? Well go right ahead. I didn't know you were such a good cook. I'll just let you cook our meals from now on." L wasn't trying to sound smug. He wished Light actually had told him sooner. He hated cooking.

Light apprehensively walked into the kitchen. "D-do you want anything?"

L thought for a moment, "What are you making?"

"…Pancakes…"

L's eyes sparkled. Pancakes = syrup. Mmmm… "One please!"

Light started getting out ingredients. Ryuk turned back to L and chuckled, "What was that you said about anyone believing it?"

L turned and glared at him, "Shut up."

* * *

"What the fuck? Who the hell are you people? Get your fucking hands off of me!" The familiar red head said after he opened his eyes. He saw two men and three women in scrubs standing over him with clip boards in their hands. They pinned Matt down when he began to struggle. "Let go of me!"

Mello's ears perked up when he heard the familiar voices shouting in Matt's room. He was in the waiting room and he ran to Matt's door when he heard Matt's voice. "Mattie?"

Matt turned his head to who ever called him, "Mello?"

"Matt!" Mello ran pushing past the nurses and pouncing on Matt. He buried his head in Matt's neck and smiled fighting back tears. "Don't ever scare me like that again, Matt. Don't you dare."

"W-what's going on?"

"Matt," Mello cuddled closer to Matt remembering how warm he always was. "I missed you."

Matt arched one of his eyebrows and scanned the room. He noticed the doctors giving them funny looks and then the blood that was being pumped into his arm. "Wait. Why the hell am I in the hospital?"

Mello lifted his head up and smiled at him and whispered, "I almost lost you there, Mail Jeevas."

Matt blushed and whispered back, "I-I told you not to call me that, Mihael Keehl!"

Mello smirked, "I know." Mello kissed Matt letting his hands tangle in Matt's hair.

One of the doctors cleared his throat making both of them pause. Mello looked up at the doctors and nurses giving them curious looks. He heard one of the nurses whisper, "Aren't they brothers?" Mello's face turned bright red as he lifted himself off of Matt's bed.

"Uh… I'll explain everything when they leave. I gotta go for a little while."

Matt frowned but nodded, "Fine." He put his index finger on the bottom part of his left eye and pulled it down while sticking out his tongue.

Mello did the same thing as he left the room. He smiled. Matt was awake! Meaning he wasn't going to die! So what now? He growled under his breath as he waited for the doctors to leave. He wanted to see Matt…

* * *

_What's taking him so long? _L thought to himself as he stared at the clock. _He's been in the kitchen for almost forty five minutes. Pancakes only take about five to cook… _L sighed as he stood up from the couch. Ryuk didn't pay him any attention as he now slinked along the floor. He walked into the kitchen to check on Light.

Light was standing by a bowl mixing some ingredients together. He had some type of green mush cooking in a pan and it looked as if it would turn black at any moment. L rushed to turn off the stove. "What are you doing?" L yelled when he grabbed the mush off of the stove.

Light arched one of his eye brows. "I guess the eggs are done," He laughed nervously as he gave L a sheepish look.

L looked mortified as he stared back into the green mush. _Eggs?_ "Well, this is clearly inedible." L dumped the eggs into a trash can and placed the pan in the sink. He looked over Light's shoulder at the thick, white mixture in the mixing bowl. L dipped his finger and tasted it. He winced. It was bitter and dry and sticky. It felt like glue in his mouth. "W-what is this?"

"Pancake mix," Light said, "though I can't seem to make it thinner."

"No, I mean, what did you put in this?"

"Some flour and eggs and sugar…"

L could see a brown box beside Light that had a bag leaning against it. "Light, isn't this made from a box?"

"Yeah…" Light said looking at his feet.

"You know the only thing you put into a box made mix is water or milk right?"

"…Oh…" Light blushed slightly. He felt embarrassed because he had just made a fool of himself. "Uh… yeah I kind of lied when I told you I could cook."

L rolled his eyes, "Idiot… I know you hate feeling inferior to people, but don't challenge someone when you know you can't do something. You could have burnt down the house or gotten hurt or—"

"I know, L…"

L froze and blushed slightly remembering something. _I'll call you Lawliet when I'm mad at you, Ryuzaki is normal, and L when I'm happy or on holidays, okay?_ L walked over to the fridge and brushed off the memory. _Those days are long gone…_ L got a bottle of syrup out of the fridge. That was really the only reason why he wanted pancakes in the first place, but since Light messed them up…

L opened the top of the syrup and poured it into his mouth. Light arched one of his eyebrows and gave L a look of disgust. "Hey Ryuzaki, can I have some of that?" L tilted his head to one side but handed Light the syrup. Light chugged some of it, but grimaced, "Too sweet!" He smacked his lips and looked back at L. Light smiled, "Do you want it back?"

L nodded curiously.

Light help the bottle over L's head and let the sticky sugar fall on his hair. Light laughed cruelly, "There you go!"

L wiped the syrup out of his eyes. "Why did you do that?"

Light shrugged, "I was bored."

L scowled at him then looked to the bowl of (a failed attempt at) pancake mix. "Then allow me to return the sentiment." L picked up the bowl and dumped its contents over Light's head. The sticky what mess fell on Light's hair and rolled on his shoulders and down his back.

Light's eyes widened, "My hair! This is going to ruin my hair!"

"That's funny. You didn't even think about what syrup would do to my hair," L tugged at his bangs.

"That's different. You're hair always looks like crap. I take time on mine!"

L sighed leaning against the counter tops, "Well that raises my self esteem…"

"I have to get it out quick!" Light ran over to the sink and started running the water.

"Light, this is ridiculous! You can just take a shower." L turned off the sink and grabbed Light's arm, "C'mon…"

L led light up to the bathroom. He tugged at Light's arm, "Go on and get in. I'll be right back."

"Like hell you—"

"I'm just going to get you a towel, Light. I have no intensions of feeling you up this early in the morning…"

Light gaped at him blushing madly, "Don't say things like that you pervert."

"Oh, please Light… Now will you try to cooperate? I need to wash my hair too."

L left to go get two towels. One for him and one for Light, of course. He returned to pick up Light's clothes and put them into the washing machine. He discarded his own shirt into the machine. He walked back into the bathroom and contemplated his hair. It was thick and sticky. L frowned at his hair. He actually liked his hair, even though he never paid much attention to his hair. He still cared about it as much as the next guy.

Light stepped out of the shower and jumped when he saw L staring at him from the mirror. "R-Ryuzaki!" Light grabbed the shower curtain and hid himself. "W-why are you in here?"

L hid the smirk that was forming on his lips. He thought Light looked adorable when he acted modestly. "Light, you got that out faster than I thought you would." L started unbuckling his pants and slid his jeans down to his ankles.

Light turned dark red, "Y-you don't wear underwear?"

"From time to time." L said stepping out of his pants and walking over to Light and handed him his towel. "You should learn to respect your elders," L said inches from Light's face.

Light turned away, "J-just go take a shower…"

L nodded and started scrubbing the syrup out of his hair when he stepped into the shower. He got out quickly. At least until he was sure the syrup was out of his hair. He turned off the water and stepped out of the shower. Light was at the mirror fixing his hair. He had the white towel wrapped securely around his waist and he scowled when L came out of the shower. "Thank you for the warm greeting. Why are you still in here?"

"I'm trying to fix my hair…I can't believe you did that."

L picked up his towel and started drying off his hair.

"You could at least apologize…"

"If I remember correctly _you_ poured syrup on _me._" L replied wrapping up in his towel. "Therefore you should apologize."

Light fought the urge to growl at him. He turned and put on one of his best fake smiles, "You're right. I'm sorry."

L Glared at him, "Only say it if you mean it you liar."

Light frowned, "Fine, get dressed."

"You really should learn how to respect your elders. You're really going to start telling me what to do?"

Light didn't know why this was amusing him. He could tell they both were joking, but he wasn't supposed to feel this relaxed with L. He _was _trying to kill him, after all.

L's phone started ringing. L sighed picking up his jeans, that were still on the floor, and pulled his phone out of his pocket. "Hello?"

"Come to the hospital—"

L blinked. Random call, but he knew it was Mello just by his voice. L closed his cell phone. "Get dressed. We're going to the hospital."

"Huh? Why?" Light asked confused by L's abruptness.

"That was Mello. He said to come down there."

"Did he say how Matt was doing?"

"Oh so you care?"

"No!" Light lied crossing his arms.

"He didn't say anything about Matt. Now go get dressed!"

Light stomped out of the room and pretended to be angry, "Don't tell me what to do!"

L rolled his eyes. He could tell Light was putting on an act. He wished he'd just come out about his feelings. This was just getting annoying to see him like this and, as all people react, every time he saw Light he wanted to tackle him. He was going to have to hold back all his emotions if he was going to make any progress with Light.

Right now he focused all his attention on Matt. He hoped he was okay. L wasn't exactly clear about whether he'd woken up or not. He pulled on his jeans and ran back to Light's room in hopes to find more clothes.

**Mwahahahaahaha! TBC**

**OMG I can't believe I'm on chapter 20 already! Wow. I thank all of those who have reviewed, favorited, and read the story. lolz I hope to be posting soon. Thanks for everything! Hope you enjoyed. I'm getting to the lemons, but you have to wait ;P BYE!**


	21. Chapter 21

21

Light and L arrived at the hospital. There were no handcuffs; however L had an extra pair in his back pocket if he needed them. They walked in the hospital and saw Mello sulking by Matt's door. L walked up to Mello, "Mello?"

Mello looked up at them with red puffy eyes. "Matt's dead…"

Light's heart almost stopped. Instead it felt like it was going to burst from his chest. His reacted before he could speak. He ran away.

L knew he could catch up to Light. After all Light had nowhere to run, and he was sure Mello needed him a lot more than Light did at the moment. L placed his hand on Mello's shoulder, "Mello I am so sorry."

Mello's eyes sparkled before he broke into a fit of laughter. "Fooled you!" L tilted his head to one side as Mello burst into Matt's room, "They fell for it Mattie!" Mello gripped his sides as he and Matt burst into a fit of laughter.

L glared at Mello, "What kind of an idiot does that?" They both were silent. It was rare that L got mad, so they were surprised. "Matt could have died and yet you have the audacity to tell light and me something like that? Do you know how close we came to losing him? However, we should just act like everything is perfectly fine. After all, it's not like Matt could've died or anything!" L clenched his fists. He was now shaking from the anger flooding through his system. "Grow up, assholes." This surprised Matt and Mello. L never cursed unless he was seriously angry or frustrated in some way. L turned and headed off in the direction Light ran off in.

L scanned the hallways and rooms. He felt stupid for falling for Mello's trick. What's worse he felt stupid for letting Light run off. Who knows what must've been going through his mind?

* * *

_Matt died because of me…_ Light thought cradling his kneels while curled up in a ball on the bathroom floor. _If I hadn't tried to…_

_Why are you crying?_ A voice echoed in the back of Light's mind. _You wanted him to die, so what's the problem? Now all that's left is to kill Mello and Ryuzaki._

"Kill Ryuzaki…" Light thought for a moment. _Can I actually do that? I don't know if I can. I don't know why but there's something keeping me attached to him._

_And those feelings will die along with Ryuzaki._

_But if Ryuzaki dies then… what am I supposed to do?_

Light sat alone in the dark. He'd run into the bathroom and luckily no one was there. He startled slightly about the conversations he's had with his other self. He knew Kira was inside of him, but this was the first time they ever disagreed on something. Light started thinking for a moment.

_You're really going to have second thoughts about this? We've been planning this for years. You can't just change your mind after we've done this for so long._

_I know, but something inside of me is compelling me to stay with Ryuzaki… I'm not sure what I want to—_

"Get up," A gruff, angry voice shouted. Light looked around him. No one else seemed to be in the bathroom. Light slowly stood on his feet. "You are not going to abandon me like this!"

Light looked in the mirrors at his reflection. He shivered when he me the cold, red eyes. "H-how did you—"

"Shut up! You're just going to leave me while you go out gallivanting with some deranged detective that has an eating disorder?"

"Kira I—"

"I gave us everything and you're just going to blow me off? Where would you be without me? Some second rate office job where you sit and hear people complaining all day. You've got some nerve…" Kira paused glaring at the ground.

"…Kira I'm not abandoning you. I can't be me without you. I just thought that we could try something different."

"No…" Kira shook his head, "Not anymore. I've been tormented enough times. I don't want any part of him. He's already gotten us fighting."

"But he's taken care of us. He's been kind to us…"

"Shut up! If you want to go back to him then go! You're starting to sound more and more like him!" Kira turned away from Light.

"Like who?" Light arched one of his eyebrows staring sternly at Kira.

"Nothing. It seems I cannot erase the feelings you now posses of Ryuzaki." Kira muttered solemnly before fading away and leaving Light alone once more.

"Wait! Kira! Don't be mad. I'm not abandoning you! Please let's just give him a chance!" Light stood silently staring back at his own reflection. "Kira!"

"Light?" L said rushing into the bathroom. He thought he'd never find him. Light was clenching his fists against his sink. He turned towards L and felt water spill out onto his cheeks. L sighed in relief, "Are you alright?" L said stepping towards him after locking the door behind him.

Light felt his cheeks. Why was he crying? He pulled his fingers away and stared at the salty tears in surprise. "Light, why are you crying?" Light's eyes flashed to L. He shook his head slightly. He didn't know what to say.

Light felt two arms wrap around his shoulders and pull him into L's white T-shirt. L stroked Light's hair softly. Light's breath caught in his thought and tears started running down his face. He tried to bury himself down deeper into L's chest so that he wouldn't have to see what he looked like. L kissed Light's forehead, "Tell me what's wrong, Light."

Light breathed out a shaky breath and wiped his eyes on his sleeve. "… It's Kira… He feels like he's… being left behind…"

L tilted his head to one side, "Left behind?" L thought for a moment. "So he thinks you're leaving him for me?"

Light's eyes flashed open, "N-no way!" He pushed L away from him. "I Kira's apart of me! I can't leave him for you… and I-I don't love you." Light turned away from L and stared at his reflection.

L hugged Light from behind trailing his hands up and down Light's sides, "That's a shame because I love you." Light shivered feeling L's hot breath touch his neck. He was grinding into him slightly which was making Light wince.

"Ryuzaki, I'm sorry about earlier. I… didn't mean to cry like that," Light blushed trying to change the attitude.

"It's fine," L mutter nipping at Light's neck slightly.

Light yelped, "R-Ryuzaki stop!"

L looked at Light through the mirror. He looked confused and somewhat angry. L sighed but did not remove himself from Light. "Let me at least stay like this a little longer."

Light stiffened but nodded. L had already started to nuzzle back down into Light's neck. He inhaled some of Light's scent. "Light…" L traced his hands along Light's sides.

"Ryuzaki, I said you can stay like this, but I think you touching me just makes this awkward." L looped his fingers through Light's pants loops. "R-Ryuzaki…"

"Light…" L muttered turned Light towards him and crushed their lips together. L thoroughly started excavating the crevices of Light's mouth. Light stared in shock at L, but didn't move. He was trying to process what was going on. L moved back ever so slowly so that they weren't kissing anymore. "When were you this submissive?"

Light blushed slightly. "O-only when you force me to do things like this," Light growled.

L let Light go and just stared at him. That hurt that Light was thinking of this as L "forcing" him to do anything. L gave him a slight nod and walked out of the bathroom.

Light stared wide eyed at the door and fell to his knees. "What am I supposed to do?" Light whispered silently to himself.

"That's easy you take the sorry bastard back," Mello muttered from the other side of the bathroom wall. He stepped out and held up his hand as a greeting. "Hey doofus."

Light arched one of his eyebrows. Mello was acting… different. "Why are you here? I thought you'd be back in Matt's room grieving."

"Of course he didn't tell you," Mello muttered rolling his eyes. "Listen, I-Matt's not dead. We were just joking."

"What kind of a sick, twisted person make a joke about the person they love dying?"

Mello gave him a sheepish look, "This guy right here." Mello gave Light a half smile and helped him to his feet.

"We used to get along right? That's Ryuzaki told me."

Mello nodded, "Yeah … let's talk about this somewhere else. It stinks in here."

Light nodded and followed Mello to the hospital waiting area. They sat on opposite sides of the room. Light sat beside the window looking out at the parking lot and trees that stood everywhere. Mello sat by the exit because he had a clear view of Matt's room from it. "Light, I have to talk to you."

Light turned away from the window and stared back at Mello. "What is it Mello?" It felt weird talking to Mello because it wasn't like Light really understood where their friendship stood. Mello just seemed weird… to Light.

"Listen, I know you're going through a tough time right now, but you should stop being so selfish."

"Huh? I'm selfish?"

Mello nodded, "Do you not care about _his _feelings? I mean I heard everything you said with him. You said you and Kira were one and the same, so don't you think you're just being stubborn?"

Light sighed solemnly, "Mello, I can talk to you, right?" Mello nodded. "I-I feel like I'm being ripped in half. Every single time I see him half of me wants to leap into his arms, and the other half wants me to strangle him… I'm so confused."

"Because you love him…"

"No! I-I can't… I'm mean we're both guys and—"

"So? What do you think me and Matt are? What Near and Gevanni were?" Light flinched slightly. Mello's features softened, "Listen I'm sorry, but this is something you have to decide. If you don't I don't know how much more L can take."

Light arched one of his eyebrows, "What do you mean?"

Mello leaned forward, "You really are clueless aren't you?" Mello shook his head slightly, "L's crazy about you. He would die for you… and probably much more. You're not going to try and do anything for him."

Light thought for a moment, "You can tell that just by looking at him?"

Mello scoffed just a little, "I've known him my entire life. I know how L acts."

Light looked at his hands, "But what is it that I should do… I just feel like I'm… ah, forget it!"

Mello walked over to Light and placed a hand on his shoulder, "Don't worry. I know how you feel. You know I had to make these choices too."

"Really?"

"Well I don't have the split personality, but when I left Wammy's house I had to decide on what I was going to do… I guess I made the wrong choice," Mello gave him a sorrowful smile. "Not working with Near was probably my first bad choice, but I really couldn't stand Near back then. I joined the mafia and that really fucked my life up. Then when I blew the place up I was in a lot of pain. That actually was a pretty stupid thing to do. When I was under the rubble and everything around me was burning… I really thought I was going to die… Then Matt found me. He followed me after I left Wammy's and had been keeping tabs on me. I woke up in his apartment and he was trying to heal my wounds."

"So that's how you knew you loved Matt?"

Mello shook his head, "I was as dense as you… I wouldn't let him anywhere near me. I was hideous and in pain and I felt terrible. I was ready to just kill myself and actually tried a few times, but Matt found me. He was there for me when I needed him the most and when he told he loved me I didn't believe him."

"What would make you figure something like that if he was always there for you? Wouldn't you be able to tell if he loved you or not?"

Mello shrugged, "That was a long time ago… The important thing is that I realized it when I did."

"…So you think I should go back to L?"

Mello smiled as he stood up and walked out of the room. Light shook his head slightly, "This is… interesting…" Light thought for a moment._ So it's all up to me now, huh?_ Light stood up and walked into Matt's room. L and Mello were already there.

Light gave Matt a sheepish look. He wasn't sure if Matt would forgive him or not, but he was at least going to apologize. He held out his hand to Matt, "I'm sorry for being such a jerk."

Matt smiled at him and held out both of his arms, "I think we should be saying we're sorry." Light hugged Matt which made him feel even more awkward. He always imagined that if Mello was ever paired up with someone, he'd at least be threatening or hard core. Matt was just… Matt. He was friendly and emotional. Kind of weird, but was somewhat animated.

"So when do you plan on leaving?" L asked after they were talking for hours. It was getting late.

"Tomorrow hopefully," Mello said while sitting on the edge of Matt's bed.

"Yeah, I'm sure the doctors will be happy to have us gone," Matt smiled brightly.

"Especially someone as crazy as Mello," Light joked sitting across the room cradling his knees.

"Oh wait!" Mello jumped up and started rummaging around in his vest pockets. "The new Kingdom Hearts game came out." Mello pulled out the _Birth By Sleep_ case. "I thought you'd want all the games."

"Thanks Mello," Matt smiled.

"Oh yeah, and I found this" Mello pulled out a_ Legend of Zelda Alpha 3_ game.

"Zelda!" Matt muttered in a Death Metal voice! "Yes!" Mello handed the games to Matt then pulled out a black PSP from his pocket. Matt smiled and kissed Mello, "Have I ever told that I fuckin' love you?"

"You could say it more often," Mello smiled before helping Matt tear into his games.

Light smiled as he stared at them. They both looked so natural together. Could he ever act like that around L? He looked over at the detective who was sitting in a chair. He was casting quick glances between Matt and Mello and Light. Light concealed a smile, _It couldn't hurt to try…_

**I know this took 4ever to post! sorry me and Kami-sama334 switched flash drives, which we do on a weekly bases, and there was a 4 day weekend! I was so mad b/c I was supossed to publish this 2 weeks ago... lolz but then I had a book report so... yeah. HERE IT IS! yay! **

**so is Light finially coming around? idk... lolz Mello and Light finially had a conversation together I was waiting for this!**

**um... yeah you guys should read some of Kami-sama334's stories... well she only has 1 up right now, but like me she's working on many different stories at once. I hope I can post the one we're writing together up soon! ;) **

**TBC... I no it's longer than I thought it was going to be... lolz thanks for reading!**


	22. Chapter 22

"I guess we should get going," Light said to Matt and Mello as he stood up from where he was sitting. He was actually having fun with the group of males. He thought something must've been going on his head. Light gave both Matt and Mello hugs before he walked over to L who was still sitting in the chair by Matt's hospital bed. "Is that alright, Ryuzaki?"

L nodded getting up. "Good night Matt, Mello." L made a slight bow and started towards the door. "Oh, and Mello try to act like somebody while I'm gone."

Mello smirked at him, "Don't count on it."

L rolled his eyes, "Of course."

Light and L left after that and walked out of the hospital. "The moon looks so big tonight," Light muttered. There was a full moon out tonight. It shined brightly over his cheeks and highlighted every feature about him.

L looked at the sky, "It is unusually close…"

Light looked at L, "You don't think that could mean something, do you?"

L arched one of his eyebrows, "What do you mean?"

"N-never mind," Light muttered shaking his head. They continued to walk home in silence. "It's late," Light analyzed.

L nodded.

Light looked at his watch, "It's almost midnight."

L's heart leapt when he saw the watch. After all, he had given it to him. It was nice to see him actually use it instead of trying to burn it or something.

"Uh… L," Light muttered, "Me and Mello were talking today…"

"Oh really? What about?" L wasn't really interested, but he never remembered Light and Mello leaving to go talk to each other.

"Uh—L, w-what are your feelings are your feelings about me?"

L tilted his head slightly, "What do you mean?"

"Would… you die for me?"

L stopped and looked at the sky, "…Possibly. I'm not sure. Maybe. Why?"

"It was something Mello said," Light said shaking his head.

L shrugged, "I'm happy you and him are starting to get along better." _Even though it's different with me…_ L started walking again.

"Uh… L" Light voice squeaked slightly which made L's ears perk up as he turned to face Light. Light cleared his throat, "I wanted to say I'm… sorry… about this afternoon…"

"That's nothing to apologize for, Light. I was simply being too hasty in my actions."

"No… I mean, I don't really know what I'm doing. This really isn't easy for me."

"I think I understand..." L sighed.

"I-I've never really had feelings like this towards people and I don't really know how to say it and not come across as a complete moron."

"Oh, believe me Light, the last thing you are is a moron." _At times,_ L thought in the back of his mind.

Light gave him sort of a half smile, "I guess you could say I'm being torn apart… I… feel like part of me is accepting this and the other part is in denial."

"Are you being split diagonally or vertically or horizontally?" L muttered with wide eyes as he bit down on his thumb.

"L, this is hardly the time to be making jokes."

"Light, I'm being quite serious," L tilted his head to the side.

"I guess you could say vertically… but that's beside the point! I'm confused… I'm—"

"I already know that Light. Why else would you be telling me this?" L looked up at the moon, "You and Kira are battling things out, right? I already knew that…"

"L, I don't know what I'm supposed to do. I mean we're both guys. We've both tried to kill each other in the past. We have different tastes, different backgrounds, different interests…"

"Yes, but we both want justice and peace in the world, we both will stop at nothing to get what we want, we are both childish and hate to lose. You can't base everything on differences."

"That's true… L, I still don't know how I'm feeling about this, but… I'm willing to go along with it. At least until I've made up my mind."

"So you mean I'm an experiment for you…"

"No! I mean… That's not what I meant. I don't want this to be like an experiment. I want to see if this is worth getting into."

L sighed, "But you'll be experimenting with me until you find your result."

"But…"

"Don't worry… it's okay…" L lied turning and walking ahead, "We should go home."

Light gulped as he ran to catch up with L. He was literally beating himself up inside his head. What kind of a person doesn't know how they feel about someone? What's worse, what kind of person tells that someone they want to… experiment with it? Light was silently cursing L for agreeing to it, but he mainly blamed himself. He felt terrible.

Light and L ran into the cabin-like house. Light rubbed his hands together and breathed on them so he could get warm. "It's freezing out there!" Light's face had gotten pale and his cheeks and nose were pink. L physically remained the same, which unnerved Light.

"Are you alright," L asked feeling Light's cheeks after closing the door. "You are cold… I'll make you some tea."

Light nodded and took a seat on the couch while L went into the kitchen. Light felt like an idiot for not saying anything to L about earlier. He felt terrible, like he was lying to L in some way. It wouldn't have been the first time… but part of him wanted to find out if this really was… real. If he really had feelings for L. He sighed when L appeared before him with one cup of tea.

"No sugar just the way you like it," L said putting the cup in Light's hands. L sat beside L afterwards.

"Thank you," Light said blowing off his tea. He drank for a few moments. "Aren't you going to have some?"

"I'm not thirsty…"

Then he resumed. It wasn't until he drank all of his tea, which took about ten minutes, before he spoke again. "Uh… about this afternoon—"

"It's fine, Light," L sighed rolling his eyes.

"And what I said before… I don't want this to be like some kind of experiment. That would be too cruel and I don't want to do that to you."

"Light, I already told you it is fine. I never said anything against your decision so just drop it." L wasn't exactly annoyed. However, he wasn't exactly enjoying himself either.

"But this is important."

L leaned closer to Light and kissed his cheek, "I know." L knew that would at least get Light off the subject of experimenting and apologizing. "You don't have to repeat yourself. I'm right here, Light."

Light gulped blushing wildly, "Uh… L-Ryuzaki…" Light muttered scooting back in his seat.

"What is it?" L asked tilting his head to the side he looked almost like a concerned kitten or puppy. Light couldn't distinguish between the two.

"W-What are you doing?"

"Well it's hard to be in a relationship without some physical interaction," L said looking slyly up at Light. "Do you think it's time I showed you?" Light gulped as L moved closer to him. He pushed Light down so he was lying on the couch. He stretched across Light so that their bodies were touching. "Don't you think this is better?" L muttered nibbling one of Light's ears.

Light shivered slightly, but let L continue. His heart was pounding fast. He felt like it would rip out of his chest. L looked at Light curiously to see what Light's response would be. He couldn't exactly just leave the detective waiting so Light followed L's lead. He kissed along L's jaw line soft and nervously. L took that as a good sign and started to kiss Light. He moved his tongue inside Light's mouth without requesting entrance. He'd been waiting for this for a long time.

Light was actually surprised. This wasn't that different from kissing a girl. Yeah they'd kissed before, but Light wasn't really paying much attention to the likeness. He hated being treated like the girl, but he would endure it… tonight. It wasn't like he wouldn't fight back once in a while. He responsively gripped the back of L's shirt and he finally realized he'd been bucking into L when the detective moaned loudly and pulled away from their kiss.

What had gotten in him? He'd never been like this when L had attacked him before, so what made this any different? Light didn't think about it long because they started kissing again, but it was rougher this time. L started unbuttoning Light's shirt and feeling the skin he'd soiled many times.

L was surprised by how much he'd wanted this. He wasn't a beggar. The only thing he'd ever wanted more of was sugar, but Light seemed to replace that. Light gasped for air after a few moments of L brushing against his skin. L adored that sound and kissed Light's neck in place of his mouth, which only made Light cry out even more.

Light didn't understand what he was feeling, but at the moment he really didn't care. He just wanted everything to stay like this. With L. Just like this in pure bliss. Light tugged on L's shirt which he soon was able to pull off by himself. Light's hands darted out feeling every area on the detective's chest. It was all new to him. Like mapping out a new building or piece of land. Then something happened that made both of them stop.

Light's hands had trailed down to L's stomach and his fingers entwined around something familiar. A leather bound notebook. L looked down at his stomach and saw the notebook. He'd forgotten that he'd put it there. Light's eyes sparkled brightly at the soft, nostalgic longing that was now in his trembling hands.

**DEATH NOTE**

Light was lost in his thoughts when L grabbed the notebook from Light. He scowled at the hellish reality he was in all because of the stupid notebook. His eyes softened when he looked at Light. Light had fear, longing, hatred, curiosity and love written all over his face. L shook his head in disgust and left the room. He wandered up to Light's parent's room (A.K.A. his room) and locked the door behind him. He threw the Death Note across the room before he sank to his knees with clenched fists.

"Damn it," L and Light muttered into the night…

**This took longer than expected too... stupid school! Why can't we bring laptops to school so I can just type between notes? I know this one's short, but it was originally supposed to be ten times shorter! So...**

**What did you think? I liked this chapter. now all that's lefted to do is fix the whole L & Light relationship and then... the Death Note... O.O lolz Thank you for reading so far! I'll try to post soon! stupid school... Please review ;)**

**TBC**

**ok... here is where I promote my friends... if you like Naruto then read some of Kami-sama334's stories. Her latest one... Switched... is one I like. **

**It's kind of a competition we started with our fanfictions. We write a story with our favorite pairings and we're going to post them. She posted hers first... **

**Of course my switched is about L and Light. Her switched is about Neji and Tenten. They both have to do with these characters switching bodies because of some freak accident and then they try to get back into their original forms and fall in love on the way... trying to summarize it simply. Mine's not up yet, but her's is and it's REALLY good! she wants some more reviews too. So please. if the idea sound interesting to you. please go to Kami-sama334 's profile. Thank you!**


	23. Chapter 23

23

L had remained in the same place when daylight broke. His head throbbed slightly as he forced himself to stand up. He had stayed up the previous night staring at the think binding of the familiar notebook that was now becoming one of the sources for his never-ending nightmares.

If he were to discard the notebook he'd forget everything about it. If he kept it on his person there would be another chance that Light would find it. L sighed placing the notebook in a drawer in the nightstand by Light's parent's bed.

Suddenly L got a strange feeling. What had happened last night? He remembered he was kissing Light and now suddenly he was in Light's parent's bedroom? L walked around the room scanning over every inch of the room. Nothing…

L walked out of the bedroom and scanned the hallway. "Ryuzaki!" Light was sitting by the door asleep while he was waiting for L to appear. "I'm so sorry! I didn't mean to… I mean after all that happened yesterday I'm sure you were expecting something from me. "

L tilted his head to open side and helped Light to his feet only to slam him against the wall closest to him. L started kissing Light's neck giving it small nips and pecks.

"Ughn…. R-Ryuzaki," Light said trying to squirm out from Ryuzaki's boxed in hold. "S-stop… How can you be this rambunctious? Especially a-after what ha-happened last night…"

L pulled away from Light's neck and stared him down with big black eyes. They looked hungrily into Light's, who seemed to be frozen in fear and waiting. "Let's have a continuation of last night," L said capturing Light's lips with his own.

Light was fighting slightly. He wasn't expecting this from L. Usually L wouldn't just blow off something like he was doing now. L started fumbling with the buttons on Light's shirt, "No!" Light cut both of them off. He covered his mouth giving L a terrified look as he walked into his parents' bedroom and locking the door behind him.

L sighed sinking to the floor, "You know I was hoping this would get easier after you got used to it." L scooted closer so that his cheek rested against the door. "Light… do you know how hard this is?" L wasn't lying. He was beginning to feel his own pressure build up from the lack of physical contact. L now realized how much of a need that was for humans. "Light, do you know humans have three main wants? Food, water and… sexual desire…"

L could hear Light gulp at that last bit. "I-I know that, Ryuzaki… I just think that we should wait because of what happened last night…" L couldn't even remember what happened last night.

L sighed, "I don't care about—"

"Well I do! And until I get some closure on this, you can do it yourself!"

L paused at Light's words, "If that is what you wish…" L moved to the wall facing the door. He stared a hole into the door as he started unzipping his jeans link by link. L quickly grabbed hold of his quivering member. His sudden touch earned a long awaited moan to pass his lips. He hadn't remembered the last time he'd actually felt physical pleasure. He could imagine Light pumping his hardened cock smirking as he received the helpless moans from L. L let his free hand graze along his nipples slowly rolling them so they turn into hardened, pink nubs.

"Ah… Light…" L cried feeling Light's hand grind his erection slowly. He let a finger travel from his slit allowing pre-cum to coat his finger. That earned a strangled cry from L, but it still wasn't enough to send him off the edge.

L imagined Light inches from his, "_What do you want me to do, love?"_ The image seemed so real to L.

L craned his head back moaning in pain and pleasure feeling his vision being blurred with lust. Saliva trickled out of the corner of the detective's mouth as he imagined him and his lover sharing a sloppy kiss. When he imagined it was over he could already feel the need for release. "…Light… please…"

At this moment Light swung open the door seeing the messy sight of L. His pants unbuttoned, his erection in full view, his nipples sparkling with sweat. Light almost drooled at the sight. It really surprised him that his own member was twitching from the beautiful sounds that had already been made by the detective.

Light got on all fours and crawled over to L looking hungrily in his eyes. Light lowered his mouth down to L's cock and immersed it into the warmth of his mouth. The bitter-sweet flavor made Light gag, but he continued sucking and nibbling on L's member. L made some pleasurable moans placing one of his hands on Light's head.

Light paused to gasp for air and let his teeth graze on the base of L's cock. Right now was all will power for L. Everything felt like sheer bliss. He didn't want this moment to be interrupted. Light licked around the slit and slightly grazed his teeth there before slightly sucking.

"Light!" L yelled as Light shoved all of L into his mouth as he released. Light was slightly unprepared for the intake and coughed after swallowing some of L's cum. Part of which was now on his chin and lips.

L was panting wait for his foggy vision to leave him. Light was gasping and choking still at the rather unpleasant taste he'd just swallowed. "…Are… you happy… now, L?" Light breathed falling forward slightly. L rested Light's head under his neck.

"That was the first time you've done something like that for me," L muttered half surprised and half satisfied. L stroked Light's hair as Light slipped in and out of consciousness. "You're already ready to quit?" L asked somewhat disappointed.

"Well what do you expect? I told you it's too early to be doing stuff like this…" Light yawned settling into the detectives arms. They felt so warm and safe. How could he not be swept away by the raven haired man?

"Let me do something for you, Light…" L whispered in Light's ear.

Light squirmed slightly his eyes still closed. "…Just…stay here," Light muttered drifting off to sleep. L cradled the sleeping killer and traced his features with a finger. L knew wasn't going anywhere. He wanted to see how things would play out when Light woke up.

L looked from one room to the other. Light's room or Light's parent's room? That would be tricky. He already ruled Sayu's room out because:

1) It was made for a girl (but you'd be surprised at what L found after digging through her room).

2) Sayu died in that room (Kind of hard to make love knowing that fact)

3) Sayu was Light's **SISTER** (But wouldn't that rule out Light's parent's room?).

L thought the situation over. He picked Light up and carried him bridal style and started walking.

* * *

"Heh heh," Ryuk chuckled after watching Light collapse in L's arms. _I wonder what Kira must be planning… _He wasn't a fan of watching stuff like this. Of course he'd watched when Light and Misa were together… which made him wonder. How was Light and L supposed to…

He hadn't been watching his roommate constantly from the shinigami realm. He had to take a few lives too, so maybe he missed that little bit of information. It made him slightly curious. However, Ryuk wasn't fascinated with the sexual performances of humans because shinigami couldn't do things like that.

Ryuk was just surprised that Kira would allow something like this to happen. He wouldn't usually let Light do things that would stray from their actual goal. Unless Kira was warming up to L… No that wouldn't happen. Kira can't love. So what was it?

Ryuk phased through the wall and walked into Light's parent's bedroom. It was empty, but Ryuk could sense the Death Note was in this room. He turned and walked into Light's room. Well, not really "walked into Light's room". Light was always self conscious about Ryuk watching him doing… "that stuff" so Ryuk hid in the closet and peeked out through the folds on the door.

L had placed Light in bed and was stroking his hair gently. He looked up at the posts and then felt his pockets. The handcuffs were still right where he left them. Light stirred curling up into a comfortable ball. L scanned over the sleeping lamb before nuzzling his neck.

"…Ugh… Ryuzaki…" Light muttered turning his face to L.

L licked Light's ear which made Light settle back on his pillow. "Light… can I kiss you?" Light didn't respond he remained the same. He was probably surprised by L's politeness. L licked his lips before he placed them on Light's. Light was awake now, but only realized what was actually happening when he felt L's lips part his own. Light gripped L's shirt half pushing L away and half pulling him in closer.

L's skilled hands unbuttoned the rest of Light's shirt fully exposing his tanned chest. L unwilling pulled away from the kiss to graze his teeth along a tantalizing nipple. Light's cries went straight to L's member that was slowly growing with each moan.

Light's breath hitched as L helped him remove the last of his shirt. L ran his hands along every curve and detail of his lover's body giving slight nips to the different areas of sensitive skin. Light shivered at the touch of L's cold hands. L went back to abusing the second nipple with his mouth and slowly turning the other with his fingers.

Finally Light's rationality kicked in, "R-Ryuzaki, I… told you, it's too early to be—" but he was cut off by L's lips. L licked the bridge of Light's mouth making Light groan. L slowly pushing himself deeper and deeper into Light's lips.

"Light… please call me 'L'," The detective muttered after pulling away a second time.

Light knew there was no turning back. He raised himself up ever so that his lips slightly brushed against L's ear. "…L…" Light replied breathlessly. L shivered at the sound of light's shaky breath. He force Light back down crushing their lips together one last time.

L sat up and pulled the handcuffs out of his back pocket. "Would you like me to continue?"

**TBC... OF COURSE!**

**I know some of you probably hate me for stoping right here... The reason for that? ...I didn't want to have more than one lemon in the same chapter. lolz. This was actually easier to write... hee-hee Light has no will power... come to think of it... neither does L... lol and Ryuk's just watching all this go down XD**

**of course he is!**

**So I have one question for all of you...**

**"Would you like L to continue?" XD**


	24. Chapter 24

**Until you get to the page break it's Ryuk's POV that's in italics...**

L sat up and pulled the handcuffs out of his back pocket. "Would you like me to continue?"

Light's eyes flashed in some childlike wonder as he stared at the handcuffs. "You're not going to…"

"What? You don't want me to?" L asked almost smirking.

"N-no… I-I mean," Light blushed slightly, "…o-only if you do it."

L was actually surprised by how submissive Light was being. He wasn't expecting this from Light… at least not this early into his game. He attached one of Light's wrists to an end of the handcuffs while sliding the other through the rails on Light's bedpost and attached the other handcuff to Light's other wrist.

_What kind of mating ritual is this?_ Ryuk thought to himself watching the two boys intently. He'd never seen anything like this before.

Light analyzed the handcuffs and his wrists. He thought that maybe it wouldn't be so bad. They're only handcuffs…

L gave Light quick kisses that were trailed up and down his body. Light squirmed slightly. He felt…nervous about what was about to happen. Even if they'd done stuff like this before this was still almost like his first time.

L sat up briefly scanning over Light and planning out his next few actions. Light closed his eyes expecting the worst. He discarded his own shirt on the floor, Light's hands twitched at the sight of L's skin. Maybe handcuffs weren't the best idea… L thought for a moment and then jumped off of the bed and ran out of the room.

Light waited for a moment his eyes still shut. He opened one eye and saw that L wasn't there, "What the hell? Where did you go, L?" Light yelled pulling at his arms. "What kind of sick joke is this?"

_So is this what males get for pleasure tying up other males and running off? It seems kind of strange. I mean, what they were doing out in the hall seemed a lot more… interesting…_

L , slightly disappointed, returned after three minutes with a long can in his hand. "One day we need to go out and buy some strawberries." L shook up the can, opened the top and sprayed the sweet, white cream in his mouth.

"You left me here for whip cream?"

"It has a purpose."

Light stared at him incredulously. "I'm not following you."

L rolled his eyes and sprayed some of the cream on Light stomach. He got back on Light and sucked off the cream. "Now are you _following_ me?"

Light's eyes widened when L started unbuttoning his pants. "No way! You're not doing that to my—"

"I'm afraid you have no say in the matter, since you're the one tied up and I'm seme."

Light cursed himself under his breath. THAT's why L wanted to use handcuffs…So that Light couldn't do anything to reject or stop the raven haired detective. "Cheeky pervert…" Light whispered, but L still managed to hear him.

L slipped his hand in Light's boxers and started stroking his member. "You call me a pervert and yet you're the one reacting to this."

"You're a pervert for doing things like that!" Light clenched his teeth, but eventually let out a moan. "And who wouldn't react when you're doing something like that?"

L smirked leaning in close to Light's ear, "Does it feel good, Light?" L sped up the motion of his hand.

"…Ah!... y-yes…" Light blushed slightly feeling even more aroused when L lighted his ear.

"I'm about to make it feel even better," L smirked slinking down to Light's pants and pulling off both his boxer's and pants. L spread Light's legs open and spread the whip cream along his inner thighs. L immediately began licking, sucking and biting along Light's inner thighs.

Light wiggled and squirmed underneath L, but he couldn't do anything (movement wise) thanks to the handcuffs. He wasn't going to deny that the male's mouth did make him feel better. He let out small cries and moans as the ravens tongue moved in all kinds of directions along his skin. It ended way too quickly though. L crawled up and laid on Light's chest. He licked hips lips while leaving kisses on his lover's body. Light made a face, "that's disgusting."

L arched one of his eyebrows, "What is?"

"You just licked my… well _down there_ and now you intend to kiss me."

L smirked, "That didn't seem to stop you when kissed me after doing a lot more than just licking _down there_." L stuck out his tongue playfully. He breathed in Light's scent. "…I'm surprised at how skilled you were, though."

"What are you talking about?"

L looked up at Light, "Well you've never given me a blow job before and if that was your first time then you have a very skilled mouth. It makes me wonder 'am I really Light's first?' "

Light rolled his eyes, "Is that what this is about? C'mon L please let's just get this over with!"

"Am I?" L arched one of his eyebrows.

Light blushed slightly and whispered, "yes."

"I'm just telling you this… It's a compliment… And excuse me for taking my bloody time!"

Light was blushing madly. "Fine then…"

_Just get freaking on with it!_ Ryuk was actually getting impatient. No worse, he was getting bored. _What's up with this crappy foreplay? I'm sure you don't talk this much during whatever kind of lame mating ritual this is!_

"AH!" Light yelled as L entered two wet fingers into his entrance.

_What's happening? What did I miss? What's going on! _Ryuk cursed himself for getting so worked up that he'd missed part of this awkward learning experience.

"Sorry Light, was that too fast?" L asked curiously enjoying the facial expressions Light was making.

"I-it's fine… It just hurt that's all…" Light winced slightly.

"Do you want me to stop?"

Light shook his head, "No…"

L added a third finger. Light grit his teeth slightly. He couldn't twist his body because L was holding him down. His arms ached for the sudden urge to grip something just for the sake of his own relief. "Eh… L," Light groaned slightly while L scissored his fingers inside of Light.

L removed his fingers and wiggled his was out of his jeans. He positioned Light's legs so that they hung over his shoulders. "Light this is going to hurt… a lot."

Light nodded bracing himself. L spit in his hand and thoroughly coated his own member with his saliva. Once he was sure enough of himself he pushed the head of his member into Light entrance.

"Shi—" Light's breath caught before he could finish the word.

"…Tight…as usual," L muttered also gritting his teeth before letting out a low moan that he didn't want Light to hear. L sunk down deeper and deeper feeling Light's inner walls close in around him. L pulled out then slammed back down hard.

"Fuck fuck fuck!" Light whined feeling nothing but pain out of this.

L thought to himself for a moment. He remembered when they used to do this he'd move up slightly…

Light made a moan of pure, utter pleasure.

L commended himself for his memory and hit that spot continuously as he began stroking Light's member. Light continued to call out for L, which wasn't doing much good for L. Light's arms felt brutal agony for being held in one place for so long while L was… torturing him in one of the best, and worst, ways possible.

L continued to thrust himself into Light faster and faster until they both released. L came in Light's entrance while Light left his essence across L's chest.

Ryuk nodded taking the scene in, _So that's how male mate with each other… It seems painful, but it must be pleasurable if other males do it together all the time. They were talking about strawberries earlier… can you use food during mating rituals? I wonder what would happen if they tried using apples? Wouldn't that hurt? Or do you just eat them off of the other person? Hmmm… maybe I should talk to Light about getting some apples._

L fell on top of Light breathing heavily and covered in sweat. Light, instantly forgetting about his arms, fell asleep.

* * *

"_So now you've had your fun. Can we get back on track?" Red eyes stared back at Light._

_"I don't think L will help us, Kira. He wants justice to be done correctly."_

_"Oh and we're not doing justice a favor? This is what needs to be done Light…" Light turned away from Kira. "…Are you sure that L won't help us because of the way we view justice, or the way _he_ views justice?"_

_Light jumped at Kira, "Kira, you know that's not true."_

_"Of course it's true! You just don't want to believe it's true."_

_"No…" Light sighed falling to his knees, "…I'm just tired."_

_Kira hovered over Light, "Why? Because your boyfriend just fucked you in the ass?"_

_Light flinched, "No. I'm tired of all this. Fighting. Hatred. Being torn in half. Loving someone I should hate. It's just… shitty really."_

_"You think your life's shit? How do you think I feel? I'm the only who has to be with you. I'm the one who feels violated!"_

_Light looked up at Kira. This was the first time he'd actually considered what Kira might've been feeling. What he must have been feeling after Light and L made love. Kira was Light. Light was Kira. But they each had their own personalities and interests. "I'm sorry."_

_"heh… no you're not," Kira scoffed. "If you were sorry you'd stop being with him!"_

_"But—" Light reached towards Kira._

_Kira pushed Light back, "No! I don't want excuses from you anymore. Just tell me the truth because now you have to choose sides."_

_Light tilted his head, "What are you talking about?"_

_"You know exactly what I'm talking about!"_

_Light held up his hands defensively, "Calm down and tell me what you want me to decide."_

_Kira panted falling to his knees and letting his own tears fall on the ground. His tears turned into fits of chuckles. His chuckles became wild, cruel laughter. _

_Light watched with terrified eyes as he watched his mirrored self go completely and utterly mad. He shuddered when Kira's cold red eyes gazed into his own. Kira lifted Light's chin so that he was forced to stare into his eyes. Kira gave him a sinister, hateful grin. "Choose Light. Me or L?"_

**TBC**

**yeah... last chapter is Light's dream if you couldn't tell. sorry this took so long... why it did I have no idea... I think it's because I had to write a story entirely in French for my teacher, so I researched and studied a lot so I could write it. But here it is. Chapter 24. What side would you choose? L or Kira? I don't know really... That's pretty terrible cuz I should know, but I don't know...**

**LoLz you guyz are pervs. I ask "would you like L to continue?" and you all said yes. So :**

_**LoveDN**_

_**CocoBunni96**_

_**OneAquaintedWithTheNight**_

_**Natikan**_

_**Death Kai**_

_**Lucky Kuro Neko**_

_**and some anonyumous reviewer**_

**Congradulations you're all pervs!**

**the one exception is _icywarm_ because she is the only one who said "I think L should countinue, but it would be more interesting if L had to stop in the middle of it b/c of some unknown reason." And for that she gets the YOU"RE NOT AS MUCH OF A PERV AS YOU COULD'VE BEEN AWARD! _this means you have the most self control _;)**

**And I'm not thanking all of my reviewers yet b/c I am very greatful to all of you. I want to make that chapter special *stares off into the distance hopefully* :3 I hope you enjoyed! thanks for reading now I shall start on the next chapter!**


	25. Chapter 25

First thing that needed that needed to be done was to remove Light's wrists from the handcuffs. After that… L took a shower and started washing their clothes. Once he finished cleaning his body, he searched in Light's parent's room for some clothes. He knew he'd brought more than just one pair of jeans.

L opened the nightstand after searching in every possible area in the room. There were jeans! ...Underneath a notebook. L picked up the thick, black book and instantly felt his memory pour back into him. "Well that was an interesting morning…" L put on his clothes and went back into Light's room.

Light was still lying with his arms over his head. L smiled to himself before hearing a chuckle come from behind him. L walked to the closet, tilting his head slightly, and opened the door, "Having an interesting time in there, Ryuk?"

Ryuk gave chuckled, "You're one to talk, L. You seemed to be in a chipper mood… I wonder what caused that," Ryuk muttered sarcastically.

"You should know…_ you_ watched us," L teased the shinigami.

Ryuk would have blushed if he could. He gave L a sheepish look, "I don't… I didn't… it wasn't—"

"L…"

L and Ryuk were called away from their joking when Light turned in his bed. L tiptoed over to Light's bed and scanned over his beloved who was now curled up in ball still asleep. L blushed slightly seeing Light's familiar innocence brought back in that one moment.

"…wait… him…love…sorry…"

L cocked one of his eyebrows hearing Light's incoherent pattern of speech. "I wonder what he's dreaming about…"

* * *

_"…L…" Light muttered faintly, but his double still heard him. Kira glared at Light and started walking away. "Wait! You knew I would choose him! Kira, we both love him."_

_Kira turned feeling the anger rising to his face, "Don't you dare say I love that vile, disgusting, useless piece of human existence!"_

_Light looked down, "I'm sorry." Light looked back at Kira who seemed to be processing Light. "Why are you making me choose? What's it matter? You should know that better than I do."_

_"I have no idea what you're talking about, but it's clear to me that you've gotten slack. This was our dream and now… and now you're just blowing off everything we worked for. Everything YOU worked for." _

_Light stood up and looked around the empty space they were in. "Kira…"_

_Kira paused looking at Light. His caramel eyes were glazed over with tears. Kira sighed walking over to Light. "I just…feel…weird." Kira embraced Light, which surprised both of the males. "I want everything like it used to be. Just me, you and Ryuk. Everything was simple like that…"_

_"Nothing's ever simple. You have to work for everything you do in life."_

_"Yeah, but don't you ever just want to go back?"_

_Light looked up at Kira curiously. His face looked concerned, but beneath the red in his eye there was something else… "What's wrong Kira?"_

_Kira shook his head, "Nothing… I just want to know what you think. Is that such a bad thing?"_

_"No… I-I guess it wouldn't be too bad to go back. I mean, I miss my family and friends but…"_

_Kira stepped back slightly, "What if I told you I could take you back to where it all started?"_

* * *

"Tadaima! " The two boys said in unison as L opened the door.

"O-okaeri…" L muttered staring at the blonde and red head.

They entered the home studying the area critically. "So…" Mello started, "Where's Light?"

"He's still sleeping," L said. "Do you want any tea?"

The two males shook their heads, "We'd hate to impose!"

_Then why are you here?_ L thought to himself. "It's fine. I'm glad you got out of the hospital safely."

Matt smiled fixing his goggles, "Thanks. We wanted to come over and… kind of celebrate, but if Light's still asleep then we can leave."

Mello was disappointed by the thought of them leaving, "But Matt—"

"We'd hate to impose, remember?"

L nodded, "No it's fine. He'll probably be up soon anyway…"

* * *

_"What are you talking about?" Light asked backing away from Kira._

_Kira smiled, "I can make all the confusion go away."_

_"H-how?"_

_Kira stepped closer to Light, "By making you mine… You won't have to worry about decisions, hurting others or L ever again."_

_"M-making me y-yours?" Light gulped at the sound of that. He didn't understand exactly what Kira meant by this, but he didn't expect anything good to come from it._

_Kira ran his fingers through Light's auburn locks. "Don't you just want to leave all of this behind? You're tired of this, so why not let me try?"_

_Light paused. His heart was pounding. He stared at Kira, petrified."Wh-wha-what are you doing?"_

_Kira's face was inches from Light's face. "I'm taking us back to where we started…"_

* * *

L arched one of his eye brows. Light had been asleep for a while. He was becoming curious. "I'm going upstairs for a while."

Mello was sitting on the couch and Matt was lying against him playing his PSP. They nodded as L left the room.

L slowly approached Light's room and slowly peaked inside. Light turned violently in his bed. He was still asleep, but he was making faces. He looked… frustrated and scared. He was mumbling and groaning in his sleep. L was concerned, so he sat beside him on his bed.

Ryuk was still there watching Light. "He's having a nightmare," Ryuk muttered curiously.

L smoothed out Light's hair, "Light…" L tilted his head to the side. "Do you know what it's about?"

Ryuk chuckled, "Kira…"

L sighed and pulled Light close to him. "Light," L whispered quietly.

Light groaned for a second. "Mmm… Stop…"

L shook Light slightly, "Light, get up."

"…Wait…"

"Light, wake up…"

"Ah… stop!"

L shook Light again, "Light—"

"No! Stop! Stop! Stop!" Light curled up gripping his head.

L tightened his grip on Light, "Light, wake up!"

Light convulsed slightly as his breathing quickened. He started crying and muttered something unknown. L was curious about what Light was dreaming. Finally, Light woke up after a few short minutes.

"Are you okay?" L asked still holding to him, but still talking in his usual monotone voice.

Light breathed hugging L tightly, "I… I don't know…"

L kissed Light's forehead, "What did Kira do?"

Light buried his face in L's chest and shook his head. "Nothing… I woke up before he did anything."

L paused trying to process Light words, "What do you mean?"

"Nothing… seriously nothing…"

"Light…"

"Please, L. Let's just… I don't know go somewhere or something."

L petted Light head, leaning back so they were just lying there. "I'm completely content being right here."

Light didn't protest, "My head hurts…"

"You had a rough morning. Do you want me to get you some medicine?"

Light shook his head. He thought it was funny how L could remain monotone during all of this. "My stomach hurts too…"

"Do you want me to make you something to eat?"

Light shook his head.

"Did you have a nightmare?" Ryuk asked senselessly.

L shot him a glare. "It doesn't matter what Kira did. I'm not going to let him hurt you. So don't worry."

Light sighed, "It won't matter. Kira's still gonna be here and he's still gonna harass me. I just can't stand it!"

"Light, it's alrig—"

"Yeah you're right. As long as you've got Kira to deal with this is just going to keep going on and on." Ryuk interrupted.

Before L could comment on Ryuk's rude interruption, Light jumped up, "I know! It's your fault anyway!"

"Huh? Me? What did I do?" Ryuk pointed a finger at his self.

"You're the one who dropped the fucking notebook in the first place! If it wasn't for you then I wouldn't be in this situation!" Light settled back down on onto his sheets, "Sometimes I wish I never found that notebook…"

"Light—" L started.

"Sometimes I wish I never was Kira!"

**TBC**

**I d k what to write until just now. lolz it's actually weird I wanted to post tuesday but I didn't like what I wrote so I re-wrote it. kk I hope you enjoy. trying to get some inspiration... this is weird... O.O OMG! I FORGOT TO TELL U GUYZ HAPPY THANKSGIVING! **

**I wanna tell you guys thank you for the reviews and for reading! hope u had a great holiday and ate a TON of food!**


	26. Chapter 26

26

"Sometimes I wish I never was Kira!"

That statement hurt L deeply. Not because of what Kira was doing to Light. He wasn't as hateful towards Kira as Light was. They met while he was Kira, and while he does hate him. There was just something that made it impossible for him to _fully _hate him. Now he knew what it was.

It was Light.

He couldn't fully hate Kira because Kira was still apart of Light in some way…

L got up and let Light and Ryuk talk. Though Light called for him, L started walking down stairs.

Matt was sitting up on Mello's lap straddling his hips in the process. "You need to lighten up Mells… Oh hey L!" Matt waved at L who simply nodded. "Is Light up?" L nodded. "Why do you seem so sad then?" L shook his head and walked into the kitchen.

Matt and Mello exchanged worried looks and ran into the kitchen. "What's wrong, L?" Mello asked as L got out a few cooking utensils.

"It's nothing that should concern you," L said quickly to avoid the two boys.

"C'mon. What kind of BS answer is that?"

L scowled at Mello then sighed knowing he wouldn't win this battle. "It's Light…"

"Well we kind of figured that…"

L sighed yet again, "I don't know what to do."

"That's a first." Matt said helping L crack a few eggs. "What happened?"

"Kira's kind of… annoying him."

"Oh so that's what the night mare was?"

L nodded.

"Well what's the problem?" Mello asked. "Light's always been annoyed by Kira."

"… It seems that Light wants Kira gone."

"What do you mean? So He wants Kira to die. Big deal! Don't we all?"

"Mello," Matt scolded shaking his head.

"I want to help him but… I don't know how."

"We'll help you L," Matt said placing a hand on L's shoulder, "right Mello?"

"Course," Mello smiled. "What are you doing anyway?"

L looked down "… I was making breakfast…"

"What are you _making?_"

"Pancakes."

"Since when did pancakes have celery in them… or flowers?" Mello gave him a look of disgust. "It's a sad day when L himself doesn't know how to make cake properly."

"It might not be that bad," Matt looked at the mixture, "as long as there's no dirt in it." Green stalks stuck out of the top of the bowl and little specks of purple were scattered through the batter. "…Where'd you get flowers from anyway?"

L shrugged before he threw the batter in the trash. "Can I do anything right?"

"Stop being so hard on yourself," Mello comforted. "I'm sure the flowers would have been wonderful."

"It's not about the flowers…" L muttered sadly before throwing the bowl into the sink and walking out of the room.

Matt frowned at Mello who ran out of the room to see L sit on the couch. "I've never seen you this upset, L…" Matt sat beside him shaking his shoulder slightly. "You can talk to us. We should at least plan something."

"It's not that simple Mello. We're messing with the laws of God."

Mello froze clutching his rosary. "Wh-why would this mess with any l-laws?"

"Because we're cheating death if we do anything and if we don't Light might kill himself…"

"L!" Matt stomped over to him, "What would make—how can you say something so terrible?"

"Because it's true," L said emotionlessly. "I don't think you should involve yourself because if I miscalculate in any way… I could die."

Mello wasn't going to take this, "B-but you can't die! Y-you just can't!" Mello was attached to L in so many ways. In some way L could be like his father or older brother. He looked up to L.

L turned and said formally, "We can't live forever, Mello."

Mello sank back on the couch. He knew this was true, but something inside of him wanted to scream "LIAR!" at him. Matt ran over to Mello and wrapped his arms around him. He knew what Mello was going through. That statement was like a good slap in the face. Fast and to the point.

"But… but…" Mello whispered staring dumbfounded at L.

Matt scowled both of them, "We're not gonna get anything done if we just make each other feel bad. Now stop acting like children. L, you shouldn't be putting Mello down. He's only trying to help. Mello, you should try to act respectful to L. He's your elder, after all. I don't want to hear you two fight anymore. We've got enough drama going on!"

L settled back looking bored. Mello scowled slightly and crossed his arms.

"L… you know we'll help you with anything you need to do. Even at the risk of our very lives." Matt gave L a half smile.

L nodded, but didn't say anything.

"Ryuzaki…" Everyone turned and saw Light limping down the stairs rubbing his eyes. Only L saw Ryuk behind him. "Ryuzaki why'd you leave like that? I was trying to tell you tha—" Light paused taking the whole scene in.

There was Matt and Mello sitting on the couch beside L. Light scanned himself. He knew he looked pretty rough. His hair was messy and matted and his eyes sagged sleepily. On top of all that, he was naked… well not completely naked, but he was wrapped in a blanket without clothes on. He was too lazy and sore to think about getting dressed. However, seeing Matt and Mello there made him feel uneasy. Especially since Ryuk started chuckling behind him.

"Oh… Matt… Mello… what are you doing here?"

Matt and Mello scanned Light critically then gave each other knowing looks. Mello smirked slightly and Matt frowned. They turned to L raising their eyebrows.

L sighed rolling his eyes at the two males. "Go back upstairs, Light. I'll come back in just a moment."

Light chewed on the bottom of his lip but nodded. He turned and quickly left the room. Ryuk stared at them chuckling at L, who was the only one who could see him. "So, how's it been, L?"

L scowled. It seemed like the shinigami knew what he was thinking. Almost as if he knew what his plan was. L took out the note book and motioned it to Matt and Mello. "Touch it."

Matt and Mello looked curiously and touched the black notebook. Matt and Mello's eyes widened ever so slightly. Matt looked appalled by the creature. He was intrigued and slight shocked at the shinigami that was now before him. Mello's eyes danced along Ryuk's body curiously. He wasn't exactly scared just interested. He'd forgotten his workings with the shinigami Sidoh, so this was the first time he'd laid eyes that type of creature.

L placed the notebook that in his lap. "This is just so that if I do happen to talk to you, shinigami, they'll be able to know who I'm speaking to."

Ryuk's smile widened, "I would think you'd have other plans with that type of knowledge." He chuckled sinisterly.

L pondered just how much Ryuk knew about his planning. He'd thought of a plan to stop Light from being Kira and purging the world of all the notebooks. However, he was considering the risks and if Ryuk knew of even one of those risks… He'd be in big trouble.

Ryuk stopped chuckling for only a moment, "You're probably curious as to how I know so much. L, I know you're smart and it's obvious that you want to help Light." L cursed himself, but he knew those were obvious truths. "And I also know that your intellect is on the same level, if not higher, than Light's… So it's pretty simple. I am a _God_ of Death. Therefore, I know all."

L hated the way he strained the word 'god'. He knew that was a term used with Shinigami, but he was certain Shinigami couldn't determine the future. Otherwise, Ryuk would be very bored, so with that last line L knew Ryuk was bluffing.

"I doubt you have to worry about me," L said. "I wouldn't dream of challenging my life in a battle with a shinigami." L knew that was a lie. He'd challenged his life every day. Why should today be any different?

Ryuk chuckled again, "Well I suppose I should leave you to your visitors…" He turned and ascended up the staircase.

When they were certain Ryuk was gone Matt and Mello turned to L. "What was that about?" Mello asked.

L sighed, "I think he knows what I've been planning."

"What have you been planning?" Matt inquired sitting on the edge of the couch.

"It was just something I thought would help Light destroy his Kira half…"

"Well tell us!" Matt chimed.

"Yeah. We'll help you," Mello nodded.

L shook his head, "I don't want to put your lives at jeopardy—"

"Damn it L! Just tell us what to do and we'll help you!" Mello yelled. "You know either one of us is willing to give up our lives for you, so tell us."

Matt nodded, "He has a point you know. We all have been willing to die for you up till this point."

L frowned, sighed then nodded. "Well I want to kelp Light. I know he doesn't want to have anything to do with Kira anymore. He loathes Kira with all his being."

"Well that's kind of obvious," Mello muttered.

"Even when Light lost his memory Kira remained on this earth. Do you know why?" Matt and Mello shook their heads. L held up the Death Note, "Because this was still here."

"The notebook?" Matt questioned, "But even if the notebook was still left in the world. Light relinquished ownership."

L shook his head, "He never relinquished ownership. _I _forced him to forget when _I _burned the notebook." L looked at the Death Note. "Now I know how to make things right."

"What are we going to do?" Mello asked finally getting into the conversation.

L ignored the 'we' comment and continued. "There are officially two notebooks in the human world. Those two notebooks have to be destroyed so that Light can be saved and to reassure that no one else gets involved with these notebooks." L gave them a grim look, "We have to destroy those notebooks to achieve this."

Mello and Matt nodded. "Okay so the first notebook is in your lap, correct," Matt asked and L nodded, "so where is the other one?"

"Attached to Ryuk's belt…" L replied emotionlessly.

* * *

**TBC**

**GOMEN! (sorry)**

**I had a complete and total mind block. I'm sorry! lolz so I uploaded today because I remembered what I wanted to do. Yep hope you enjoyed! Thank you for all the reviews and I hoped all of you enjoyed your Christmas... well, if you celebrate Christmas ;) hoping to post soon!**


	27. Chapter 27

27

"What?" Mello jumped up. "Are you suicidal or something?" L remained motionless and looking straight ahead. "I mean… I can understand getting Light's notebook BUT RYUK'S? What are we supposed to do just waltz up and ask him for the notebook? What kind of a stupid plan is that?"

"So what is your plan?" Matt asked as Mello continued ranting in the background.

"We need some sort of stealth or distraction…" L muttered quietly. He casually bit his thumb, "A distraction…"

Matt thought for a moment. "Hmmm… I got it!" He turned to Mello who was still going over his shock of Ryuk's Death Note. "Mello…"

"I mean Death Gods… Death… GODS! We don't stand—"

"MELLO!" Mello looked up from his ranting. "Now shut up and give me your wallet."

Mello arched one of his eyebrows, "What do you need my wallet for?"

"I'll tell you after you give me your wallet…" Mello raised his eyebrows but handed Matt his wallet. Matt snatched Mello's wallet from him and walked to the door. He bowed politely, "Thank you very much!" and left.

"Wait Ma—" Mello said when Matt slammed the door. "What the hell is he up to?"

L thought for a moment, "Just being Matt I guess…"

* * *

Matt smiled happily twirling Mello's wallet around. He was half skipping with a high expression on his face and a cigarette dangling from his lips. He hummed some foreign tune. He knocked on the door of Light's house. L stood in the doorway looking at Matt trying to probe his mind. "You've been out for quite some time Matt…"

Matt smiled, "It was a big order they had 2 fill…"

L arched one of his eyebrows, "Who is they?"

"Mattie?" Mello asked interrupting the two. Matt threw Mello his wallet. Mello caught it with ease. "Where'd you go?"

"It'll be easier to show you…" Matt left the house and motioned for L and Mello to follow him.

L and Mello walked onto the porch and saw a big, red truck pull into the driveway. Mello arched his eyebrows, "What did you…"

Matt smiled, "Mello, you wanna help me out?"

Mello looked at L then back at Matt. Matt smirked at him raising his eyebrows and licking his lips. Mello gulped but walked over to Matt. Matt wrapped one of his arms around Mello's waist Mello returned the action. "L," Matt yelled, "bring Ryuk down here when we get in the back of this truck. Make him look under this mat," Matt pointed to the mat that covered the back of the truck.

L nodded, "What now?"

"Go inside and keep watch till no one's around this truck." Matt looked at the guy driving the truck. "Okay except for that guy. I paid him for delivery."

L nodded, "Okay I'll go check on Light." With that L turned around and went inside the house.

Matt smirked pushing Mello against the truck and crushing their lips together. "You know… I'm glad you told them that lie about me being seme."

Mello somehow maneuvered Matt around that he was the one being forced against the truck, "So you're saying you wanna try being the dominant one now?"

Matt shook his head, "Not a chance." Matt heard a cough and looked up at the driver of the truck. He was in his mid thirties and was gaping at the two males. Matt pushed against Mello's chest while Mello worked his lips around Matt's ear. "Mello…" Matt muttered, which Mello mistook for a moan. He bit Matt's ear and started grinding into him fiercely. Matt's breath hitched, "M-Mello… t-the driver…"

Mello paused and looked up. He glared at the man staring at them in the truck. Mello rolled his eyes, "I can't stand miserable, nosy bastards…"

Matt couldn't help but pull a grin onto his lips. "Well c'mon we have to set this plan in motion. L's expecting us to." Mello frowned slightly. Matt pecked his lips, "Don't worry I'll make up for all the horny details later." That seemed to excite Mello enough that a sly grin spread across his face.

Matt walked to the end of the truck and pulled up the mat, "Now… get in…"

Mello walked over to the end of the truck and looked inside. His smile grew wider, "You clever bastard…"

"Hey L… are you feeling okay?" Light asked sitting on his bed. L was sitting in his normal position, by the window and biting his thumb. "I… I guess I should apologize for my actions…"

L arched one of his eyebrows and turned his attention to Light, "Why are you apologizing? What did you do?"

Light blushed slightly, "… umm… About earlier…"

L thought for a moment, "I'm not sorry…"

Light looked at L in surprise, "What?"

L sighed, "It's exactly as it sounds… I'm not sorry…"

Light was silent for a moment. He didn't know how to respond to the strange detective. His mouth hung open but no sound came out of it. Ryuk smirked next to him. He thought of the fun game he'd developed for the detective. In actuality, Ryuk had no idea what l was planning. He just liked to mess with the detective. Also, telling L that he knew his next actions helped him keep L away from him. He knew L was afraid of anything he didn't know existed, like Shinigami.

L looked back out of the window and watched Matt and Mello lower themselves into the back of the truck. He arched one of his eyebrows as they shut the mat back on the back of the truck. L nibbled his thumb in frustration. Light recognized L's frustration and said, "What is it L?"

L turned to Light, "There's a truck in your yard…"

Light jumped off of his bed and walked over to the window. "Huh?" He said audibly, "What the hell…"

Ryuk tilted his head to the side, "Would you look at that…"

Light got up and ran out of his room. L was slightly surprised by this but followed Light downstairs. Light stomped up to the driver of the truck. "Can I help you?"

The driver was somewhat shaken by the young man especially after seeing the two males from before. God only knows what they could've been doing in the back of his truck. He was in his late twenties with dark brown hair and eyes and you could say he wasn't the luckiest guy in the whole world. "I-I'm only making a delivery…"

"I didn't order anything!" Light yelled. He hated when people showed up unexpectedly. "If you don't mind I would like you to leave."

"Light don't you think we should see what it is?" Ryuk muttered curiously…

"Yes I'm curious as well," L muttered biting his index finger.

Light sighed staring at the mat. After a moment he muttered a small, "Fine…" and let L lift up the mat on the truck. When Light saw what it was he rolled his eyes, "Yes that is for us…"

L held back a smirk and instead shook his head. _I love you Matt… even though this is one of the stupidest and most ingenious things I've seen you attempt,_ L thought to himself.

Ryuk almost fell over. His giant red eyes sparkled in glee as he eyed the inside of the truck. He licked his lips greedily, "Can I have them, Light?"

Light shrugged, "Well I'm not going to eat them…"

Ryuk chuckled as he dived happily into the pool of never ending apples. He immediately started stuffing his face with apples like the addictive Shinigami he was. L watched the Shinigami eating the apples like they were the last apples on the face of the earth. Then it hit him. Matt and Mello were in the pit of apples along with Ryuk. What would happen when Ryuk finished all the apples and there was Matt and Mello with him?

L actually felt somewhat worried for their safety, "Ryuk you shouldn't eat all those apples at once… that's not good for you."

Light laughed, "Coming from the man who eats nothing but sugar…" L gave Light a look that told him that he knew he was wrong but he needed help. "Oh… uh… Ryuk you really shouldn't eat all of those apples at one time. C'mon! L and I will load the apples out of the car so the driver can leave and you can eat your apples inside." L gave Light a look of gratitude. Light smiled in response.

"You won't… have to… ha!... worry… about the driver…. NOM!" Ryuk said in muffled gasps.

L and Light looked at the driver who had fainted. Anyone probably would faint seeing an apple floating in midair and being consumed by some invisible force…

Light slapped his forehead, "URGH! Ryuk get out of the truck I'll get you your apples after we help this man." Ryuk frown and took two apples with him as Light opened the truck. "I'm such an idiot! I forgot that people who haven't touched the Death Note can't see Ryuk."

L walked up from behind Light and helped him take the man out of the truck. "You're not stupid Light and I think the result would have been even worse if this man could actually see Ryuk."

Light and L carried the man inside and laid him on the couch. Ryuk watch him while nibbling on the two apples he took earlier from the truck. Light and L ran to the kitchen and tried to find a box big enough to put all the apples in. Light sighed, "This is going to be impossible…"

L bit his nail for a moment, "I have two thoughts on this matter."

"Let me hear them."

"Okay. We can either empty all the drawers in here and use them to put the apples i—"

"No way! What about the stuff in them?"

"Put them in the sink and wash them later…"

"What's the other option?"

"We dump all the apples on the floor and let Ryuk have his way with them. We could just pile them in the middle of the floor and—"

Before L could finish Light was dumping the contents in a drawer by the stove and dumped all the contents, i.e. silverware, into the sink. "No way there's going to be a giant mess in the middle of me living room."

"I had a feeling you would say something like that…" L muttered happily seeing Light like his normal self. Who else would obsess about how neat a room is?

L grabbed a drawer and copied Light's actions by tossing its insides in the sink. "Well let's go…" Light turned and started walking. "Wait," L said thinking for a moment. Light looked at L giving him a questioning look. "Um… I'll go bring in the apples… You should empty the drawers here since we'll need more than two."

Light thought for a moment, "Yeah… you're right! Good idea but… I'll get the apples."

"No I insist besides… I'm stronger than you."

Light could tell there was more behind this statement and made that known by blushing. "A-are not!"

L couldn't help but be amused by this but he kept that in the back of his mind. He left the kitchen and house to get to the truck. He set the box (drawer) on the ground and looked inside the truck. "Matt? Mello?"

A mound of apples lifted up and rolled off of Matt as he sat up, pulled his goggles on top of his head and rubbed his eyes. "That actually suffocates you… It's like being in a ball pit at one of those lame play areas for kids except… it's with apples instead of balls…" L reached out to Matt. "Wait… Where's Mello? Mello?"

L looked along the apples trying to see if anything looked like Mello. "Mello? What pile of apples looks bigger?"

"Mello where are you?" Matt yelled looking around for the cocky blonde.

"What's with all the yelling, Mattie?" Mello asked smirking at him from behind.

Matt paused then whipped around glaring at Mello, "Mihael Keehl! What was that?"

Mello laughed clutching his ribs, "That was fast. You get angry too easily."

Matt glared at him, "You're one to talk Mr. Shoot- anyone- crosses- me."

Mello stuck out his tongue, "So sue me…I just thought it would be cute to see you worry about me."

Matt scowled, "You jerk I was seriously worried about you!"

Mello gave him a sheepish look, "Sorry Mattie. Forgive me?"

"Idiot! Of course I do!" Matt yelled pulling Mello into a hug.

"Man if this is how you treat people when you're mad at them I should break your Laptop or break your video games…"

Matt pulled away from him, "You do that and you die…"

Mello smirked and turned to L, "So L, what's up?"

L hated how these two could act like… like absolute children sometimes. "I need to get some apples but I'll be back." L filled the box up with apples and when back into the house. When he returned Matt was whispering to Mello about something. L placed a different box on the ground. "Are you okay?"

"Yeah…" Matt said glumly.

"What is it?" L muttered looking at Matt and Mello curiously.

"Listen L… about the Death Note…"

L paused, "You didn't get it?"

Matt shook his head. "It was harder to move around than I thought it would be… I miscalculated L… I'm sorry."

L shook his head, "No it's not your fault… We'll just have to think of a different plan in order to steal Ryuk's Death Note."

"No we won't!" Mello jumped up. He unzipped his leather vest and pulled out a black notebook. "Mattie boy may not've delivered, but I sure as hell did!"

L took the notebook in his hands letting his eyes scan the cover. He nodded to them giving them a thankful glance. He stuffed the notebook under his shirt with the other one. "We'll talk about this later…"

Matt and Mello jumped out of the truck, "No problem…"

* * *

"Okay… Light's supervising Ryuk," L said sitting on the couch.

"Cool, so how much time do we have?" Mello was stretched across Matt who was sitting in an armchair close to L.

"I would say about an hour but it wouldn't surprise me if we had less time than that." Mello and Matt nodded. L leaned forward slightly. "Alright I'm sure you know why I wished to speak with you."

"I think I do…" Matt muttered.

"Yeah… You wanna test it right? To see if it's real?"

L nodded.

"Why do we have to test it?" Matt asked. "Why would a Shinigami carry around a fake notebook?"

L shrugged, "Maybe Light told him to do it a long time ago… Maybe he thought it would make things interesting…"

"Well how are we supposed to test it?" L gave Matt a grave but firm look. "Oh NO! You are not killing anyone. WE aren't!"

"Well how else are we supposed to do it Mattie?" Mello said as if this was a dumb response.

Matt frowned, "W-well who are we gonna kill?"

**TBC**

**hehe... it snowed... I lost power... I got pissed off cuz my story got deleted... hehe**

**... snow...**

**so who should I kill? I have a TON of options but idk... have any opinion?**

**Thank you very much for the reviews and I hope to be posting soon. I hope you enjoyed!**

**Now I have 2 think about who's gonna die...**


	28. Chapter 28

28

"Kill me…" L muttered blankly looking at the notebook.

Mello and Matt both sat up, "No you idiot!"

L flinched slightly at the two. "How else do you suggest we test it?"

"We sho—"

"No more Ryuk!" Light yelled. He walked into the living area. L quickly put the notebooks under his shirt.

Ryuk sprawled out on the floor. He twitched slightly, "…Apples… apples… apples…"

Light rolled his eyes, "You've had enough."

"No such thing…"

"You're not getting any…"

"D…damn you…"

Light walked up to L, "I'm going to take a shower then I'm going to bed."

L nodded, "Alright. I'll be in your room when you're done."

Light tried to hide the fact that he was blushing, "W-why don't you sleep in Mom and Dad's room?"

Mello hopped off of Matt, "Because we're spending the night." He smirked getting somewhat closer to Light.

Light rolled his eyes at the blonde, "You're gay you can sleep together in Sayu's room."

"Two things, Goldilocks," Mello muttered. "One. You're gay too, so stop trying to act like you're a straight bastard." Light turned bright red. "Two. We're not sleeping in the same room where your sitter was killed in." Light flinched slightly.

He cleared his throat slightly, "O-okay…"

* * *

"Hey Light," L said as Light crawled into bed.

"I'm really tired, L…" Light muttered turning his back to L.

"I know…" L looked at the back of Light's head. He ran his fingers through Light's hair hoping it would make Light calmer towards him. "You know Mello's just kidding when he teases you like that…"

Light sighed and turned around to see L's face. He didn't know it was that close to him, so he blushed looking at L nervously, "I- I know… I just hate it when he's right."

L went to stroking Light's cheek instead of his hair, "Does this make you uncomfortable?"

Light thought for a moment… "Well It's not laying here like this because I've slept with you before… It just pisses me off when Mello's right…"

"Right about what?" L asked arching one of his eyebrows.

Light's blush deepened as he placed a shaky kiss on L's lips. It was a small peck but it sent sparks through both of the male's bodies. Light pulled away from the kiss but scooted closer to him afterwards so that he was cuddled against his chest. "So there… Whenever I'm being difficult you can hold that against me…"

L was surprised. That gay comment must have really affected him, but… it made L happy to have Light cuddled against him. He didn't like fighting him. He kissed the top of Light's head, "I'll remember that."

L watched Light as he slowly drifted off to sleep. He looked peaceful and content as he gripped L tighter. He had a small smile over his lips.

* * *

"What are you doing?" Mello asked Matt, who was leaving the room.

"I'm dying for a smoke," Matt whispered.

"You shouldn't smoke at this time of night." Mello muttered stretching and rolling out of bed.

Matt sighed, "Fine… I guess I'll go to bed…"

"You're not gonna fight me anymore?" Mello smirked as Matt walked over to him.

"Mmmm… can't… I'm too tired…" Matt wrapped his arms around his lover's shoulders. He gently nuzzled his neck breathing in Mello's sweet scent.

Mello ran his hands up and down Matt's spine, "And here I was getting used to this dominance phase…"

Matt chuckled softly, "If I have to worry about anyone else dying I need you to be there for me."

Mello frowned, "I'm always here for you Mattie."

Matt squeezed Mello, "I know… but today… I thought if you left me… I'd die Mello…"

Mello's eyes widened and he hugged Matt's hips closer to him, "I'm not gonna leave you Matt. That would never happen."

Matt smiled and kissed Mello's lips. "'Kay I'm gonna go for a smoke." Matt said getting ready to walk off.

"Didn't I just tell you you shouldn't be smoking at this time of night," Mello said raising his eye brows.

Matt chuckled slightly, "Sorry I just can't stop thinking about that. I haven't had a good smoke in forever…"

Mello pulled Matt closer to him. "Not tonight okay?" Matt chewed on his bottom lip but nodded. Mello smiled kissing the top of Matt's head. "I wanted to talk to you anyway."

Matt arched one of his eyebrows, "About today?"

"About testing the Death Note. L said he would die, but of course that can't happen." Mello's arms wrapped securely around Matt's waist. "Well what if I died?" Mello was lost in thought but Matt's eyes were wide. "You could test the notebook by writing my na—"

"—Idiot!" Matt yelled pushing Mello away from him. His vision getting hazy from the tears stinging his eyes. The force Matt used to push Mello sent the red head to the ground unable to control the tears that were running down his cheeks. "Y-you really th- think that's gonna solve anything!" Matt's hair and goggles shielded his eyes, but Mello could tell he was crying. "What about being L's successor? What about all we've worked for? What about all _you've_ worked for Mello?" Matt balled up his hands into fists. "You think we won't need you? …And me. You're just gonna leave me? You don't think I'll miss you?"

Mello stood there surprised by Matt's sudden outburst, but for some reason it made him happy and sad. Happy because Matt cared so much about him. Sad because he'd made his lover cry. Mello fell to his knees and pulled Matt into his chest. It was then when Matt completely lost it. He squeezed Mello while sobbing into his chest. Mello removed Matt's goggles and began stroking his hair. "I'm sorry, Mattie. I wasn't thinking about what you would go through."

Matt clutched his lover for dear life. His watery Emerald eyes met Mello's sapphire ones. The shear sight of Matt made Mello's heart ache. "Mello…" Matt muttered, "I need you. I want you. If you died on me… I- I wouldn't be able to take it. I would die Mello. I would…" Matt's voice cracked at that moment.

Mello licked Matt's tears and gave him light kisses along his cheeks. "I'm sorry," Mello whispered.

"I love you so much Mello," Matt said truthfully.

"I love you too Mattie," Mello said hugging Matt tightly. Mello looked into Matt's eyes feeling the love that was in them. "Kiss me…" Matt was somewhat surprised by Mello's request. However, he was going to please him so he placed a small kiss on Mello's lips.

Mello smiled into the kiss when he felt Matt nibbling on his bottom lip. After the conversation at Christmas, Matt was surprising him with his little bursts of dominance. Matt sucked on Mello's lip requesting entrance, which Mello allowed. However, Mello wasn't about to be dominated so easily.

Their tongues clashed wrestling each other for dominance. Matt moaned wrestling each other for dominance. Matt moaned himself weakened when Mello took control of his entire mouth. Mello massaged Matt's tongue with his own shivering every time Matt moaned into the kiss, which only made Mello deepen their kiss. They pulled away only a string of saliva connecting them as they panted heavily. Mello leaned his forehead on Matt's so they could stare into each other's lust filled eyes.

"Matt…" Mello said trying to catch his breath. "I want you so bad right now."

Matt wrapped his arms around Mello's neck, "I do too but… I think Light would be mad if we messed up his parent's sheets."

Mello kissed Matt again, "Don't worry. I promise we won't mess them up too badly…"

* * *

Light squirmed slightly, "L…" He sighed feeling himself wake up. L was watching him, which didn't surprise Light. "L, why don't you ate me?"

L wasn't expecting Light's question, "Why would you ask me that?"

Light flinched slightly, "I… I just wanted to know. I'm a murderer, L."

"You are not a murderer Light!" L couldn't allow Light to condemn himself. "I know your intensions and I know you regret being Kira. Light, I love you and could never hate you."

Light's heart pounded in his ears. "W-why?"

L said Kissing Light softly. "I love you because you're you. You're my best friend, Light. We both have similarities and differences that make us perfect for each other."

Light smiled sadly. He was truly happy to be loved by the detective. He just wished they could have met in a way other than Kira. "L… I-I lo.. I lo…" Light gulped his pride and kissed the detectives lips. "I love you…"

L felt so happy. His heart was pounding as Light's lips hovered over his own. He washed up the hot feeling he got when Light's shaky breath hit his lips. L sighed filling the empty space between them. Not needing to request entrance L tangled their tongues into a sloppy, wet kiss. L pushed dominating him. Light gasped feeling his lover on top of him. "L…" He breathed out his name.

L pushed away from Light. He stroked Light's cheek while brushing his fingers in his hair. "Light… you should get some sleep…"

Light frowned, "But I—"

L placed his hand over Light's mouth, "Later…"

"What is it?" Light asked when L laid down his back to Light. L was silent. Light wrapped his arms around L's shoulders. He tried to look at his face but failed. "L?"

* * *

"M-M-M-Mello!" Matt stammered when he felt the blonde insert a third well-lubed finger into him.

Mello gasped looking at the handy work he'd just given Matt's neck, "What… is it Mattie?" Mello asked when he started spreading Matt's entrance.

Matt grit his teeth. "It hurts…" He whimpered.

"You know it always feels better when I'm inside you," Mello said not stopping his scissoring fingers.

Matt leaned his head all the way back gripping the sheets underneath him. He bit his lip to suppress the strangled cries that wanted to be released. When Mello's fingers stopped their motion Matt looked up, "Then do it… already… Quit making me… wait…"

Mello only needed that motivation. Mello positioned himself under Matt. "You ready?"

Matt nodded feeling his mind already beginning to fog over. "Ready…"

Mello slowly pushed himself inside Matt. He moaned feeling Matt's inner walls close around his erection. Matt pulled his right hand to his mouth and bit down till he tasted blood. Tears pricked his eyes but Mello quickly licked them away. "Matt…" Mello breathed. "Matt I want to hear you…" Mello pulled out of Matt slowly.

Matt took his hand out of his mouth. "W-what if they hear?"

Mello kissed Matt's bloody hand. "Let them hear," Mello said before slamming inside of Matt. The red head screamed at the painful pleasure that was inside him. Mello kissed Matt as Matt wrapped his legs around Mello's waist. Mello groaned at the beautiful sounds his lover was making.

Mello raised Matt's hips slightly before jerking his hips forward. Matt made a high pitched yelp. "Fuck Mello! R-right there! Please!" Mello groaned while they began to thrust in time with each other. Their breaths mixed together before crushing their lips together. This kiss was intoxicating and uncoordinated. They were too preoccupied with their thrusting to care…

* * *

L's ears cocked when he heard the scream. Light leaned forward and whispered, "What was that?"

L listened out for more sounds when he heard, "Fuck Mello! R-right there! Please!" L's eyes widened as he turned to Light.

"Are they…"Light trailed off in mid sentence.

L shook his head, "Those boys…"

Light snuggled closer to L, "I-I guess it's fine…"

L sighed turning to hug Light close to his chest, "Thank you for putting up with those two."

"It's no problem…" L said breathing in L's warm, sweet scent. He felt love and security rolling off the detective. He was relaxed. "How could I have ever tried to hurt you?" Light whispered before falling asleep.

* * *

"Mello!" Matt cried curling his toes when he came spilling his essence across the blonde's chest. Mello pushed himself deeper inside Matt still hearing his moans. His thrusting began to quicken before he released coating Matt's inner walls with his seed.

Mello fell forward pulling out of Matt. Matt curled up against Mello's body feeling his eyes droop slightly. "Matt…" Mello breathed trying to recover his breath. "We haven't done that… in so long…"

"Yeah…" Matt agreed snuggling closer to his seme.

"We should do that more often," Mello said regaining his breath.

"Yeah…" Matt muttered not listening.

"Matt…"

"Hmmm….?"

"Let's have sex."

"We just did…"

"So? Let's do it again! Let's change it up a bit. I'll let you be on top."

Matt finally opened his eyes, "You never let me be on top."

"Really? What about that one time in L's kitchen?"

"I sat on you…"

"But you were on top…"

"You still entered me," Matt said closing his eyes once and for all.

Mello cradled Matt's fragile body as if it were made of glass. He couldn't imagine what it would be like to lose Matt. "I love you Mail…" He said kissing Matt's forehead.

"I love you too Mihael…"

The two males fell asleep in each other's arms.

* * *

L looked at Light who was sleeping peacefully beside him. He brushed through Light's hair with his fingers. Halfway through his brushing he stopped. Ryuk wasn't there. Was he still downstairs? Was he eating apples? The detective thought about this thoroughly. Then he felt a familiar feeling enter him. The feeling he got years ago when he and Watari had to fake their deaths in order to catch Kira and solve the case. A feeling of sorrow and grief. A feeling of death. A feeling that reminded him of his past.

"I hear the bell…"

**TBC**

**hehe tons of breaks. whoot a lemon. **

**and yeah expect a flash back ;)**

**don't expect the worst! the bell has many meanings. I just had to lead up to it with the bell. **

**XD I wasn't even thinking about what to write. I was at school and just though "I'm gonna let my mind lead me to what I should write."**

**apparently when I let my mind take over I write lemons XD**

**that made me sound like a perv...**

**anyway ty 4 reading.**

**quick message to CocoBunni96**

**O_O That was the fastest review I've ever gotten. it was like 5 minutes... dude... not that that's weird tho I love ur randomness ;)**

**kk ty 4 reading and reviewing etc.**


	29. Chapter 29

29

"_What are you doing standing out there by yourself?"L heard the teen, but looked listlessly at the skyline of Tokyo. Rain pelted him making his clothes cling to his frame. Looked at Light and held up a hand to his ear. Light repeated his question and L just held the hand to his ear with a big grin on his face. Light shielded his eyes with his right arm. He approached the raven with ease and said, "What are you doing Ryuzaki?"_

"_Oh nothing… it's just…," L looked at his feet, "I hear the bell…"_

"_Bell?" Light asked looking around and put a hand to his ear._

"_Yes. I wonder if it's for a wedding or school or…" L trailed off thinking of the last thing it could be for. He would not utter such grave phrases._

"_I don't hear anything."_

"_Really?" L said turning to Light. "You can't hear them? They've been ringing loudly all morning." Light gave L a curious look but he knew better than anyone that L's deductive abilities were superior to a normal humans. _

_L knew what was coming. He was going to die. Kira was going to kill him. He wasn't exactly ready to die. He still had to persecute for being Kira. He needed to denounce his friend and bring peace to the people of the world. _

_He started rambling to Light about something. At first he wasn't sure what to say, but then he asked Light a question about the truth and got an answer he was expecting. Light encouraged him to come back inside because Light thought L would get sick if L stayed outside too long. 'Not that Light would care,' L thought to himself. It didn't matter. He was going to die._

_They went inside and got some towel to dry off. L wasn't particularly interested in drying off so his towel laid limply over his head. L watched Light scrub his hair in hopes of getting dry. He was sitting on the stairs that lead to the investigation center._

_L shrugged taking the towel from his head and crouching beside Light taking one of his feet in his hands. "W-what are you doing?" Light asking in surprise. _

_L was silent for a moment, "You were so busy wiping yourself off I thought I'd help you out…" _

"_That's okay Ryuzaki. Really I'm—"_

"_I can give you a massage if you'd like? I'm actually pretty good at this." L paused looking solemnly at Light, "I have to do something in order to atone for my sins."_

_Light gulped but nodded. L looked at Light's foot letting the water from his hair fall on Light's skin. He just stared._

"_Ryuzaki what's wrong?" Light asked. The detective seemed depressed for some reason. "You look like you're about to cry…"_

_L shook his head, "It's nothing. It's just… You and I will be parting ways soon…" L almost whispered this. At this point all of his pride had left him. He was at the feet of his killer conspicuously telling him "I know I'm going to die. I know you're going to kill me and I know it will be soon."_

"_Ryuzaki…" Light muttered sadly as he reached forward to dry the detective's hair._

_L's phone went off and broke the moment between the two males. Light looked into the helpless eyes of his friend. He wished things didn't have to end this way. L was his perfect equal. He didn't want that to end. Something inside his chest had bubbled and bloomed for the raven haired detective. No matter their differences and thoughts. They were perfect together._

_Light watched as L left saying he needed to go find Watari. Light watched the dark detective leave him. _

_The Shinigami Rem appeared to Light, "Light I know what you are planning… You intend for me to risk my life to save Misa's life by killing Ryuzaki."_

_Light shook his head and gave Rem a sharp look, "Don't you dare kill Ryuzaki…"_

_Rem arched one of her eyebrows. "What are you talking about Light Yagami?" The shinigami continued, "I thought this whole time you wanted me to kill Ryuzaki…?"_

"_No! Idiot… I want Ryuzaki alive. Now, go back to Misa!" Light brushed off the creature and continued drying his hair. 'This is a big decision…' Light thought, 'Do I keep Ryuzaki alive or not?' The thoughts littered his mind; however it was obvious Ryuzaki wasn't dying today. He'd already made it clear to Rem that he did not want the detective dead._

* * *

"_Ryuzaki…"Watari asked the depressed child while he typed away at his computer. "Why are you so apathetic today?"_

"_Watari I'm going to die and I feel it will be soon…" L's hair fell in front of his eyes. _

_Watari turned away from his work, "I see… come here."_

_L walked to the man that he considered a father and received a hand brushing through his hair. "Don't worry… I have a plan just give me a few minutes…"_

_L nodded solemnly and started to leave "—Wait." He whipped his head around to see the elder deleting all data from the files of the super computer._

"_What are you doing?" L asked._

_After a few flashes of his keys Watari started on a transmission while typing he point to the screen where the video feed of the other task force members was being played._

"_All data deletion?" Aizawa muttered reading the screen, "What the hell is this? Did we get hacked? Matsuda did you touch something?"_

"_N-no!" Matsuda jumped, "This just happened. I don't know what's happening chief."_

"_I'm not your chief," Soichiro muttered. _

"_What's going on?" Light yelled in surprise. "Matsuda, what did you do?"_

"_Nothing!" Matsuda whined._

"_Light," Soichiro asked, "did you see Ryuzaki?"_

"_He went to Watari about something. Dad, I'm really worried about him. He's not acting like himself."_

"_I'm sure he's fine, but what are we going to do about this?"_

_Light scanned the screens for a second then walked over to the computer that he and Ryuzaki shared. He began to enter his masterful hacking mindset and started typing. After a few second a message was displaying its self across the white screen._

_**My friends,**_

_**Having been waiting and with my knowledge of this case I've been preparing for this for quite some time, so do not be alarmed. I am dead if you're reading this. The files have been deleted as a precaution that in the event that someone in the task force was Kira they would not obtain information. Watari shall take care of my body and will be returning to our home in England. I would like for all of you to return to your regular lives; however having known you I know you shall continue in your quest for Kira. It was a pleasure working with you all. I guess I wasn't able to change the world after all. I hope Kira's future sees a Near end.**_

_**That is all…**_

_The screen lit up white._

_The entire task force silently stared in surprise at the screen. Light made the first move. _

_The teen's eyes filled with tears and he slammed his fists on the desk and started crying violently. Matsuda soon fallowed after with tears streaming down his cheeks. Soichiro's eyes even filled with tears, but he didn't let them fall. Mori and Aizawa gave each other stern looks and bowed their heads._

"_Damn you," Light growled, "Where are shinigami? You knew this was gonna happen didn't you?"_

_L watched in surprise as Light started to lose his sanity. Light got up and started looking around the room yelling at something that wasn't there. _

_Soichiro pulled his son into his arms. Light soaked his father's chest in his salt tears and held him tightly. "Dad… what… what are we gonna do… without Ryuzaki…?"_

_12. 14. 2009_

_"Why would they leave him alone?" L asked Watari in annoyance._

_"They're visiting Light's Father's grave." Watari responded watching the TV screen for changes in Light's behavior. _

_"Li~ight, were finally alone," The peppy, blonde Misa smiled._

_Light sighed in annoyance, "Not now Misa…"_

_Misa frowned sitting on the sofa behind Light, "You know, ever since Ryuzaki died you've been so cold…"_

_Light spun his chair violently. "Don't. Ever. Say his name," Light spit the venom in Misa's face. His eyes were glowing bright red._

_"Why not?" Misa jumped to her feet. "He's dead Light! D-E-A-D! Remember? You wanted him dead!"_

_Light jumped to his feet too, "Don't say that! Don't ever say that! I never wanted Ryuzaki dead! Not now not ever!"_

_"Why are you lying like that? He was nothing but a nuisance! He… he would have ruined everything Light!"_

_"Shut up!" Light yelled slapping Misa's cheek and sending her to her knees._

_Misa felt her cheek in disbelief then let the hot tears stream down her cheeks. "You… you loved him didn't you? That's why you're acting like this… You loved Ryuzaki…"_

_Light had his own look of surprise on his face before his legs gave way and he fell back into his chair. He gripped his head on both sides whispering, "Just shut up bitch…" over and over._

_Misa jumped to her feet glaring at Light's crumpled form worrying about her own tears. "You loved him… I… I knew it." Misa turned and ran out of the room and locked herself up in her own room. It didn't matter though. Light wasn't going after her._

_Light sighed and reclined in his chair. He wiped the tears hanging in his eyes. "Who would've thought Misa was actually capable of deducing that… eh, Ryuzaki?" He stared up at the ceiling then smiled to himself. "What am I doing?" He sighed, "Ryuzaki's dead…. I can't do anything about it. He's dead…" After a few minutes of thinking he said, "Then… why do I feel like I'm still battling him…?"_

_L stared blankly at the screen. Had Light actually loved him? He could feel himself blushing._

_"We need to contact Near," L said out of the blue. "We've obtained enough information to convict Light as Kira. All we need is Near to carry out the deed…"_

_L typed in a few codes and hacked into the white haired detective's computer._

_**Ryuzaki: Hello?**_

_**N: Who is this?**_

_**Ryuzaki: Near it's L. I have a plan…**_

_01.28. 10_

"_He's getting away!" Gevanni shouted as Light opened the door of the Yellow Box Warehouse. _

_Light left in a hurry with blood staining every inch of his body. He held his arm where Matsuda shot him. His breathing was sporadic and fast. He felt dizzy and defeated. He saw his entire life flashing before him. His life would have been perfect had he not found that notebook. _

_He was now sitting on the stairs of an abandoned factory. Maybe he would die there. He hoped so. Maybe they would find him before he had the pleasure of dying. He wanted death more than being sent to prison. The thought of jail terrified him. _

"_Well Light it seems you lost…"_

_Light's eyes fluttered open when he heard the monotone voice. The pale detective stood before him in a white, long-sleeved shirt and baggy, blue jeans. "Ryuzaki…" Light smiled, "…either I'm dead… or I'm going crazy…"_

_L crouched down to Light's feet. "You're neither of those things. It's really me."_

"_It's b-been a while…. Someone must love me up there… or they have a sense of humor," He chuckled nervously._

"_Light, you're not going to die."_

"_But you're here Ryuzaki," Light said not listening to L. He brushed L's hair out of his eyes and rested his hand on L's cheek. "I'm so glad you're here. I know you probably hate me right now and I'm the last person you want to see, but I have to tell you something." Light gulped, "I'm sorry. I didn't want you gone. I have no right to say this, but… can we start over? I never want to leave your side Ryuzaki," Light felt his eyes stinging, "because at least I can have you in the afterlife. Please forgive me." Light forced himself to sit up and slowly brushed his lips against L's. L's eyes widened and he blushed slightly. He thought Light might try to do that, but not when he was so seriously injured. Had he really missed him that much? L must have because he involuntarily kissed Light back. He desired the kiss between them. He wanted more, but Light was injured so he managed a simple peck on the lips like Light had done. Light smiled sleepily, "I… love you Ryuzaki…" He managed to say before falling on L's chest and passing out._

_In seconds the Japanese task force entered the building. "R-Ryuzaki?" They yelled in amazement. "You're still alive?"_

_Light's blood was slashed across L's face like red crimson. He held Light's helpless body tightly. "Please… help him." He said quietly. He didn't want Light to die. Not after what had happened. "Please!" His eyes swam with some terrified emotion that startled all of the members. The small breaths that were hitting his lean neck were the only things that calmed him down._

_Everyone was asking questions but L was silent. Until the ambulance came he said nothing. He helped load Light into the ambulance, turned to everyone and said, "I'll explain everything later." Then he left._

_He wasn't sure why he felt this way. He should hate Light. But… after seeing him in this condition… One thing was clear… L would stay by his side._

* * *

L opened his eyes sleepily. Why had he dreamed that? What was the point? He looked over at the sleeping Light who's hair was in his face. L leaned over and brushed Light's hair back and kissed Light's forehead. "Good morning, Light…" He said smiling to himself…

**TBC**

**IM ALIVE! why am I so late? Chemistry :3**

**guess what?**

**I suck at chemistry :3 I suck at MATH! too much drama and school I didn't know how to escape from it all then I thought, "Hey I need to finish Sleeping Death!"**

**so here's 29. its a flash back/ dream of L's about little clips of there past. I wanted to put a masturbation scene in here but i didn't :( poor lemon loving fan girls. but i didnt want L to have a wet dream. should i have put 1 in? idk I'll let u b the judge of that. who knows I might :3**

**but I hope u enjoyed. again srry about the delay. ty for everything**

**now...**

**R & R! (please. man pushy...)**


	30. Chapter 30

30

"Good morning, Light…" L said kissing Lights auburn hair. He was curious about his dream. L stroked Light's cheek which made the youth stir underneath him. He stretched out then squinted his eyes. "Good morning, Light," L repeated the greeting.

Light studied L then buried his face in the elder's chest. "Hmmm," He muttered in response.

L rolled his eyes, "C'mon Light." He shifted back only to have Light reach out and pull him closer. Light let out a small growl warning L to stay where he was. L wasn't amused. "Get up Light." Light wasn't moving. He was far too comfortable. His arms were around L's waist and his head was resting on L's soft, warm chest. "Light. Yagami. Get up!"

"Mmm…" Light didn't move but muttered, "Not feeling very submissive this morning…" L could hear the smirk in Lights voice. His hands were resting on the small of L's back but L could feel them travelling southward.

"And suddenly you suddenly think I am? No. Get up it's almost noon." Light frowned reestablishing his strong hold on L. "Now Light!"

"I don't wanna get up," Light whined in an almost childlike voice.

"We have things to do today…"

"C'mon L… you know we don't have anything to do today."

"You don't know that…"

"I can tell when you're lying," Light lifted himself up and kissed L's chin. "I can think of something we can do though," He smirked slyly.

L rolled his eyes, "This early in the morning?"

"Well you wouldn't do it last night," Light retorted.

"We did it yesterday morning," L countered, "That's why. You hardly had enough energy as it was!"

Light looked in L's eyes raising his eyebrows, "So… is that a yes?" L scowled. "A definite maybe?"

L rolled his eyes but stroked Light's hair gingerly, "What am I going to do with you…"

"Well… I'm kind of spelling that out for you but if you need me to be specific I can—" L pushed Light out of bed.

"Get your mind out of the trash heap, Light."

Light rubbed his head and sat up, "Ow!" L chuckled and kissed the top of Light's head where he was rubbing. Light stared at him for a moment then cringed. "Ow! I think I hit my lips when I fell too!"

L rolled his eyes but complied with Light's wishes and kissed him. He didn't use tongue, though, with good reason. L also had a sense of humor. "I wouldn't want to kiss you too hard since your lips are oh so injured." L stood up and stretched his back. "Get up we have to go…"

"Where are we going?" Light asked.

"I want to go outside for a little bit."

Light nodded slowly, "Okay…" He stood up and removed his clothes then started getting ready. He pulled on some briefs and black slacks. While buttoning his pants he noticed the detective's eyes on him. "What are you doing?" Light asked.

"Nothing…" L shrugged as he bit his thumb. "I was just admiring the way Light puts on clothes…"

Light blushed madly, "Shu-shut up…" He went to find a shirt in his closet. After a few short moments he slung a collared, white shirt over his shoulders and inserted his arms through the holes.

"Allow me," L said quickly jumping at the chance to button Light's shirt. Or, better yet, run his hands down his lover's chest. Light's face turned beat red when he felt L's hands move across his chest. L rested his hands on Light's nipples giving them small massages and squeezing them.

Light moaned into L's touches. "L…" He whimpered gripping L's arms.

L smirked at the handy work he'd given Light's nipples. He nibbled Light's ear then said, "Let's get going, shall we?"

Light groaned, "After all that you expect to just come with you? After just doing that?"

L frowned, "Oh so you don't like me doing that?"

"No nononononono!" Light's eyes got a little frantic. He slid off his shirt and stepped so close that his chest was now touching L's chest. "I want you to do more…"

L liked it when Light was this submissive. He stroked Light's hair softly. However, he hated the recent mood changes he was having to endure, but he loved making Light happy. He loved to give Light what he wanted… L pushed Light back on the bed where he quickly took advantage of devouring the youth's nipples. He adored the sounds Light made… that he could get Light to make by just using his tongue and his teeth. He clamped his teeth around one of Light's hardened nubs while massaging the other nipple with his hand. Then he sucked hard making Light's chest heave as he arched his back and let out a loud cry. Light's breathing hitched. He ran his fingers though the elder's hair pleading, "L…"

L looked up detaching himself from Light's nipple. He could see the lust and want in Light's pleading eyes. Light cupped L's cheek in one of his hands. L immediately flashed back to the memory of Light confessing to him after his serious injury of being shot. L reacted before Light could and kissed Light's lips passionately. Letting their tongues wrestle each other for dominance, one circling around other. Light moaned giving in to the kiss, now letting L take full advantage of his mouth.

There was a knock at the door that neither of them heard. L just pressed the kiss deeper while he rubbed his body against Light's. Light moaned into the kiss tugging at L's shirt moving it up L's chest so he could have better contact with the thin frame of the detective.

Mello opened the door rubbing his head, "L do you have any aspirin—what the fuck?"

L and Light turned their heads breaking their kiss and staring at the blonde. L and Light gave him apologetic looks but on the inside they were scowling at him.

Mello rubbed his temples and sighed, "Must you have sex every time you're left alone together?"

"That wasn't sex," L said sitting up. "And you're one to talk after what you and Matt did last night."

Mello froze blushing deeply. "Y-you heard us?"

"I'd be surprised if all of Japan didn't hear you!"

Mello looked at his hands shamefully. "S-sorry…"

L was now rubbing his temples and falling beside Light. "Aspirins are in the cupboard in the bathroom," He muttered into his pillow.

Mello nodded, "Thanks!" He smiled before closing the door behind him.

Light looked at the door then L. "L?" There was silence. "L, is something wrong?"

"No…" L sighed rolling over. "No nothing's wrong. Just a little… disappointed…"

Light smiled crawling up L's body and straddling his hips. "Why would you of all people be disappointed?"

L was surprised at how good Light was at turning him on. Light was so good at adding pressure because he moaned at the contact. Light's eyes sparkled in fascination at the detective's reaction. He began to move his hips more and gained some more beautiful sounds by both him and the raven haired man beneath him.

L loved the sudden dominance that came forth sprang forth within Light. He being pleasured by his lover, but he liked pleasuring his lover even more. He flipped Light over and started attacking Light's mouth passionately like before.

"Hey Light do you think you'd mind if I hacked into…" The red head trailed off seeing the two males in bed. L turned scowling at the striped gamer. "What. Is it. Mail?"

Matt stepped back feeling the demonic aura rolling off of L. "S-sorry… I'll ask later…" Matt turned and limped off.

L sighed and stood up. Light watched curiously as L removed his shirt and walked to the door. "What are you doing?" Light asked propping himself up on his elbow.

"What do you thing?" L said closing the door and locking it in place. He walked back towards the bed, "Now we shouldn't have any more interruptions…" L fell back on top of Light making Light squeek in satisfaction. L went back to kissing along Light's neck line then back to Light's mouth. He rubbed their naked chests together creating friction. L to his surprise could feel his desire prematurely swelling up. He gripped Light's thighs roughly trying to spread the youth's legs. Light was mewling and groaning when L traced his fingers around the waistline of Light's pants.

"Hey Light," Ryuk said making both of them groan in disapproval. The shinigami had fazed through the wall and was hovering over the two males. "Light you hid my apples didn't you?"

Light sighed rubbing his temples, "What of it?"

"GET ME SOME APPLES!"

"You ate over half of them already!"

"Get. Me. Some. Apples…"

L and Light both growled at the Death God. Light pushed L away from him and jumped out of bed. L could feel the anger radiating from Light's shoulders. Light snatched his shirt off of the floor and jerked it on violently. He, then, stomped over to the door whipping it open.

"Where are you going?" L asked curiously.

Light turned and scowled, "To get some fucking apples for that damn shinigami!" Light slammed the door and stomped down the hallway.

Mello's ears perked up then turned to see Light angrily making his way down the hall. "Hey Light I wa—"

"Go to hell you fucking bastard," Light said cutting Mello off.

Mello looked shocked, "Excuse me? Who the fuck do you think you're talking to?"

Light walked past the pissed off blonde and flipped him off then walked downstairs. Mello was bewildered but broke away from his haze to look back and see the insomniac detective staring down the hall. His hair was a mess as usual and his white baggy shirt was messy and tattered.

"His mood swings are almost as bad as yours, Mello," L muttered breaking the silence.

Mello was about to make a comment but decided to hold his tongue. "You better go make sure he's alright…" L was already walking down the stairs before Mello finished.

"You've overstayed your visit," L heard Light yell.

"B-b-but you st-still haven't p-payed m-m-me," A smaller terrified voice replied.

"Get the fuck out of my house!" L was sure he heard something brake then ran down stairs to see the front door wide open, a bowl shattered on the floor and Light pacing back and forth pulling his hair out. L was worried about his lover's distraught behavior. "Light…" L muttered received a glance from the youth. "Light just calm down…"

"How can I calm down when nothing in this house is calm?" L could see the strain on Light's face.

"You're just being stressed," L said coming up from behind and wrapped his arms around the younger man's waist. Light stopped and felt the anger drained from his body. He held L's arms while L kissed the back of Light's head. "Just relax…"

Light leaned into L's embrace and sighed, "I'm sorry… I guess I was tired of being interrupted and just sort of … snapped."

L nodded and nuzzled Light's head, "I know… I hate it too."

Before anything else could happen Matt limped downstairs playing his DS. He looked up and paused, "Oh you're down here. I wanted to apologize for Mello and my… behavior last night." Matt did a small bow then pulled out his DS, "Now I wanna see if I can get to level 99 by nightfall!"

"Shouldn't you still be in bed Matt?" Light asked. "After last night and everything…"

"Oh I'm fine I'm used to getting up early after having rough nights with Mello. The Mafia wasn't very gay friendly so we had to do everything underhandedly."

Light frowned and gripped L's arms tighter. "Hey L, let's go outside." He tugged at L's sleeve.

"What about me Light-o," They heard the rasping shinigami chuckle.

Light rolled his eyes. "All the apples you want are in the pantry." Ryuk made a sound of joy and grinned before disappearing from the room.

Light sighed in relief and tugged at L's sleeve till he had dragged the detective outside. Light leaned over the porch taking in a deep breath and smiled at the fresh scent. L settled into a chair angled slightly behind Light watching Light's content expression. Light flashed a few glances at L then said, "Hey L… what are you thinking about?"

"I was thinking about out our past… About the time we met and when you confessed to me… and… when you lost your memories…" L trailed off thinking up all the times he'd encountered with Light.

Light thought for a moment, "Do… do you prefer me not having my memory…?"

"Of course not, Light! I just wanted you to be safe. I wanted nothing more than for you to be happy."

Light felt himself blush slightly then said, "I… I guess we had some good times… and some…" Light trailed off before finishing the last bit. "Hey L, What if… what if every day we lived like this?"

"Lived like what, Light?"

"Just… Just like if the two of us lived in the middle of nowhere together. No people. No distractions. It's just… us…"

L blinked, "You're saying you actually want to stay with me?"

Light nodded turning completely around to face L, "Of course I do!" He sighed, "Listen L, I know I haven't been quite up front about everything and I know my emotions have been a little bipolar… L I… I want to be with you. I realize I can't be without you. I've been thinking about it and… you're all I have, L. Without you I am nothing. I… I…" Light gulped, "I love you, L…"

L was surprised by Light's speech but he could feel his heart pounding. "I… am… glad to hear that Light." Light smiled brightly which only managed to increase L's heart rate and making the detective blush.

They stared at each other for a moment in silence, thinking deeply. Light was making a last minute decision. Did he really want to be with L? He'd tried to kill him for so long… but the more he looked at the panda like detective the more his heart reached out to him. He loved him. He wasn't going to let that change.

L was so happy. His mind though flashed to the Death Note. He'd asked Matt and Mello to kill him, he knew it was impossible because the Death Note couldn't kill him yet, but he'd said it nonetheless. He really didn't want to die though. He wanted to stay with Light.

He needed to think. He couldn't die, but he couldn't underestimate the power of the Death Note. It was a tool used to corrupt humanity. It caused nothing but pain. The worst part about thinking about this? He realized he was running out of time…

L drew his mind away from his thoughts when Light pulled his legs into a normal sitting position. Light crawled into L's lap and wrapped his arm around L's neck resting his head under L's chin. "Thank you, L…" Light nuzzled L's chin giving him small kisses along his neck and jaw line.

L held Light contently stroking his soft hair. "Don't worry Light. You don't need to thank me for anything."

Light smiled breathing in L's scent. He smelled like strawberries. It comforted him. L was happy with the male cuddled in his arms. He felt like he was comforting a small child. He was undeniably happy.

L had a thought then smirked, "First you want sex, then you're cussing me out, now we're cuddling."

Light smiled sheepishly, "Sorry…" He smiled kissing L's soft lips. "I'll try to act more… disciplined."

"No," L said kissing Light back. "Just be yourself. I love your true self." Light nodded and kissed L's neck again while he drew small circles in L's chest. L felt so warm and safe…

"Get out here Mail Jeevas!"Mello yelled walking in on the heart touching moment.

"Mello…!" Matt whined stomping out of the house. He looked at L and Light and smiled happily. "You always walk in at the worst times."

Mello rolled his eyes and pulled Matt into his arms smiling. He looked at L, "L, we're leaving for a little while."

L raised an invisible eyebrow, "To where?"

"Just back home and then to headquarters…" Mello kissed Matt softly. "We should be getting home anyway." He smiled brightly pulling Matt along with him. "We'll be back though. That's a promise!"

L sighed and nodded as Matt and Mello hoped on their motorcycle. Okay… Mello's red motorcycle that was practically his baby. Mello revved the engine then without hesitation sped off with Matt gripping his sides tightly. L and Light said a silent prayer of thanks then sighed, "Alone at last…"

**TBC**

**haha Im faster this time :3 and I smell lemons in the air oddly enough... I wonder y... :3**

**Light Bipolar enough for you? yeah. I thought so too. But I'm happy with it. It's just so awkward writing Lemons in school .**

**Anyway... Ty for the reviews I'm very happy with them.**

**hope u enjoyed so far...**

**R & R please.**


	31. Chapter 31

**I wrote this 3 times! it started out as a lemon... Then I thought about Linder... Then I re wrote it... Then I redid that 1! Sorry for the wait!**

31

"Mattie, we need to talk…" Mello said to the red head, who was sitting on the couch completely immersed in his 3DS. His orange shield blocked his eyes as he smoked blindly on a cigarette. "Now Mail," Mello growled in annoyance.

Matt sighed, saving his game and putting out his cigarette in the ashtray on the small table beside him. "What is it Mello?" Matt wasn't particularly in the mood to talk, but Mello seemed adamant about something.

They'd arrived at their shabby, one bedroom apartment about three hours earlier. Matt spent his time playing video games on their faded, yellow couch. Mello, on the other hand, was in the kitchen (which was directly behind Matt). He'd raided his chocolate stash and was thinking critically. He wasn't going to interrupt Matt (at first), but he was getting impatient.

Mello fell onto the sofa and rested his head on the gamer's lap. Matt's hand instantly brushed the blonde's silky locks. Mello felt waves of stress rolling off of him at the simple action. He closed his eyes, sighing in contentment. He groaned and sat up, unzipping his vest and revealing the two Death Notes waiting there.

Matt sucked in a breath, "So you did take them…"

Mello scratched the back of his head then set the notebooks on his lap, "We've gotta destroy 'em Mattie."

"Ya' think I don't know that?"Matt asked sarcastically as he pulled a cigarette to his lips and lighting it.

Mello scowled a little but shook it off. "But then wouldn't we lose our memories?"

Matt shook his head and took a long drag from his cigarette. "Any regular human would lose all knowledge of the Death Note, but an owner would lose all knowledge completely."

Mello blinked and looked at the notebooks. "So this one is Lights," He said pointing at one notebook. He looked at Ryuk's notebook and thought back on all that had happened so far. His eyes widened when he realized who the owner was…

* * *

L was perplexed. He was sure he'd put the Death Note in the nightstand located in Light's parent's bedroom. He frowned when he saw the empty drawer almost mocking him. He knew Mello had something to do with this.

Before L could react, his cell phone rang and the detective picked the device out of the pocket of his jeans with his thumb and index finger. "This is L," He answered.

"L? It's me, Linder," He heard the female say. "Do…" She was trying not to sound flustered. "Do you know where Near is?"

L paused for a moment then bluntly stated, "Near is dead."

Linder's breath caught, "H—how?"

"Near and Gevanni were having an argument and Gevanni shot Near then himself," L stated simply not wanting to mention Light's name.

Linder finally let some of her emotions seep to her surface. "B-but that's… that's impossible! Gevannai loved Near and was Loyal to him. He'd never shoot him! Why would he? What was he—"

"L…?" Light muttered in the doorway. He was holding a large tray, "Oh sorry… I didn't know you were on the phone."

L motioned for Light to come in and continued talking. "Linder calm down. I'm sorry you weren't informed sooner but—"

"—It was him wasn't it?" Linder said cutting L off. "Light killed Gevanni and Near…"

"Light did nothing of the sort," L replied honestly. Kira killed Near. Not Light.

"Don't protect him, L!" Linder yelled, "I'm not an idiot! Light killed Near. I know it! L… I'll kill him. I'll kill him!" With that Linder hung up on the detective.

L looked glumly at the phone as he put it back in his pocket. "I take it that wasn't a good call?" Light asked from behind L. He was now sitting on the bed.

L shook his head and sat on the opposite side of the bed. "It's fine. What is it you want, Light?"

Light's face flushed, "Uh… well I made another cake… I think it turned out better than the last one…"

L felt his heart skip a beat when he looked down at the tray between them. There were two plates, with silver ware, of white cake with vanilla icing and two glasses of white milk between the cake. L couldn't help but lean forward and kiss Light before taking his piece and devouring it.

Light poked at his cake, "Who called?"

L gulped down his cake, "Linder… I had to inform her about Nears death."

Light nodded absently taking a bite of the cake before pausing abruptly. He frowned but didn't swallow, "It's burnt…" He forced himself to swallow the sugary mass.

L finished setting his plate down gently, "It was delicious."

Light blushed and held out his cake, "You want it…?"

L took the cake greedily and finished it faster than his first piece. Light watched happily as he sipped his milk. L frowned at him and Light rolled his eyes, "You have to drink your milk, L."

L shook his head and turned up his nose.

"Oh C'mon!" Light got on his knees and raised a glass of milk to L's lips. "Drink it."

L let droplets of milk slide down the edges of his mouth. He wiped his mouth with his sleeve defiantly, "No." Light frowned, but L had made his decision.

Light soon smirked as a plan started to form in his mind. He took a big swig from the glass then pressed his lips to L's. The raven haired man was surprised at the action but was soon enjoying the moment. Light part L's lips with his own and L felt the, now, slightly warm liquid flow down his throat. L swallowed and let out a small gasp when Light pulled away. Light smirked, licking his lips slyly, "Good boy…"

L's face flushed at Light, "I… don't believe I consented that Light- Kun." Light shuddered at the suffix added to his name. "I might consider that assault…"

Light blinked, "Really…? ME assault YOU?" L nodded as Light scoffed, "You're one to talk you rapist panda bear…"

L arched an eyebrow, "Interesting choice of words… but… I doubt you could accuse me of rape."

"Pssshh," Light held in a laugh, "In your dreams. You don't exactly look like the most… sane type of guy…"

L frowned, "Is Light saying I look weird?"

"No nonononono!" Light's eyes widened, "Never! I think you're cute!"

L's hair fell in front of his eyes, "But Light said he'd accuse of committing rape. Light must think I'm just a perverted rapist…"

"No!" Light said pushing the tray aside and throwing his arms around L. "No you're not. I'm sorry, L. I was only joking. You know I love the way you touch me. I love you."

L nuzzled Light's neck and covered it in soft kisses. He smirked as he glided across Light's skin, "And that is why you could never accuse me of being a rapist."

* * *

"Mello you can't be serious!" Matt yelled.

Mello stared blankly at nothing, "It's mine…"

_"What is it?" L muttered looking at Matt and Mello curiously._

_"Listen L… about the Death Note…"_

_L paused, "You didn't get it?"_

_Matt shook his head. "It was harder to move around than I thought it would be… I miscalculated L… I'm sorry."_

_L shook his head, "No it's not your fault… We'll just have to think of a different plan in order to steal Ryuk's Death Note."_

_"No we won't!" Mello jumped up. He unzipped his leather vest and pulled out a black notebook. "Mattie boy may not've delivered, but I sure as hell did!"_

"It touched my skin first si that makes me the owner."

Matt fell back on the couch brushing his hair back, "Shit!" Matt didn't want Mello to forget everything. They'd done too much in one lifetime for him to forget everything. He forced himself not to let out the pent up emotions inside him. He just wasn't feeling his best.

Mello placed a hand on Matt's shoulder. The red head quickly grabbed it for comfort. Mello smiled pulling Matt's goggles to rest on top of his head, "You'll still be here if I can't remember ya… right Mattie?"

Matt nodded, "Of course."

Mello could sense the gamer's sadness growing with each passing second. Mello kissed Matt's cheek, "I love you Matt."

"I love you too Mello…"

Mello smirked slightly. "Hey Matt," Mello started, "you know, after I forget everything we'll get to start everything over…. Like a whole new relationship…"

"Henh… yeah…"

Mello leaned into Matt's chest, "Hmmm… I wonder if I'll still be seme…?"

Matt gave him a half smile and shook his head, "There's no way I'm gonna be submissive the second time around… I'm puttin' up a fight."

Mello smirked raising his eyebrows, "Oh really…"

* * *

"Ummm… L…?" Light gasped feeling the slender fingers tugging at his slacks. L didn't say anything. He just continued his butterfly kisses across Light's neck and adding slight pressure to Light's groin. "…L…" Light said before pushing the man over and topping him. L was surprised and stared straight into Light's eyes. "L… should we really be doing this? Ryuk's down stairs and… and we don't know when Matt and Mello will be getting back…"

L frowned at the sudden pause. Why had the youth stopped him? Surely he wanted this just as badly as him… Was it going too fast? Or was it something else…? "Do you want… to do it this time, Light?"

Light was again dumbfounded. His cheeks burned a crimson color, "W-what made you say that?"

L shrugged, "I know you have a dominant personality and I thought maybe you'd like a change."

"Y-you'd let me?"

L was amused by the younger male's flustered expression. "Of course Light." L placed Light's hand over his heart. "I love you." Light gulped at the rapid pounding in L's chest. It was different. L usually seemed so calm and under control. Feeling the heart beat calmed Light's nerves in a way. He removed L's shirt to get a better feel of the rhythm.

* * *

Matt and Mello's bodies were inter twined and sprawled out on their sofa. They were clutching their ribs and laughing. "M-Matt…" Mello started trying to catch his breath. "You're… you're seriously fucked up…"

"W-what?" Matt blushed, "You're the one who said you wanted me to talk dirty to you, Mels."

Mello laughed again, "I didn't think your mind was THAT fucked up… What have I done, Mattie? I've poisoned your innocent mind…"

Matt punched him lightly, "Give me some credit! I can be a perv without you influencing me."

"I doubt it," Mello scoffed.

"You want me to show you?" Matt said in a salutary way that made Mello shiver. Matt straddled Mello's hips, receiving a sharp intake of breath—

— Then Mello's phone rang.

"Damn cell phones, "they both cursed as Mello sat up and answered his phone. "It's M—"

"—and M!" Matt chimed in the back ground and received a hand petting his red hair.

"Mello, where is L?"

Mello scoffed at the voice which was undeniably Linder's , "Duh! He's at Light's place." Matt was watching Mello talk. He shifted to get off Mello's lap but stopped when Mello tried holding back a moan. Mello shot Matt a look and Matt tried to look innocent before thrusting hard into the blonde's lap again, "Why do you a~ask?" Mello jerked then glared.

Linder didn't notice Mello though, "That damn Light Yagami killed Near!"

Matt nipped at Mello's ear and Mello swatted him away, "What makes you say that?"

"Don't play innocent Mello! I know Light killed him and I'm not just going to sit back peacefully about it!"

"N-now listen, Linder. Don't do anything you'll regret."

"Oh I'm not going to regret this…" And with that she hung up.

Mello knew Linder very well, and because of that she wasn't afraid to show her emotions to Mello. She had a crush on Mello a few years back, but Mello didn't return her feelings. Especially when he found out she was working for Near. Matt also disliked Linder. Mainly when he found about her and his boyfriends… past…

"Fuck!" Mello swore, throwing his cell phone at the nearest wall. "We gotta go Mattie…"

"Where?" Matt asked standing up with Mello following after him. "Mello?"

Mello zipped up one of the Death Note's and gave Matt the other, "Here." Matt took it and hid it under his shirt and stepped over towards their kitchen table while he pulled on his goggles. "That fuckin' bitch is getting in over her fucking head!" He heard Mello say.

"What's wrong?" Matt asked, throwing Mello his helmet.

Mello caught it easily. He opened there door and upon stepping out said, "Light's in trouble."

* * *

"Light!" L yelped full of love and longing as he released all over Light's chest. He loved the feeling of being filled by Light's hot thickness. He loved being seme more, but if this is what Light wanted, he would do that much for him. Light came at the same time as L, thus filling his inner wall with his essence. He applauded himself for not cuming the first time he entered the tight, closing walls.

Afterwards Light pulled out of L and fell beside him. "Wow…" Light breathed looking at L. "…You feel amazing…"

L smirked, "That doesn't mean I'm letting you be seme."

Light laughed, "That's okay. I enjoy being the uke." Light yawned, rubbing his eyes. "I don't know how you're able to—" There was a loud thud outside that cut Light off. Both men jumped. "What was that?" Light asked, shaken slightly.

L thought back to his phone conversation with Linder. She wouldn't actually try to kill Light, would she? L suddenly felt uneasy, "I'll go see what it was." L stood up, cleaned himself off then slid into a pair of jeans.

L walked down the stairs with a small limp and went to the front door. It was still locked thankfully. He unlocked it and walked outside. L creeped along all sides of the house only to find a trash can toppled over with its contents scattered on the ground and raccoons nipping at it ravenously. With a sigh and a shake of his head, L turned and walked to the front door and turned the knob… but the knob didn't budge. He tried again. Nothing. The door was locked…

* * *

Light, after L left, cleaned up and put on some slacks. He heard a satisfying click of the front door as he was taking the tray of dirty dishes to the kitchen. L dumped the tray into the sink and washed his hands. "Did you find out what that noise was?" Light asked as he dried his hands.

Instead of hearing L's voice, though, Light heard a female, "No. I guess it must have been the wind…"

Light froze. He knew that voice. He walked out into the living area and saw the short blond with cool, blue eyes. "Hale…" He muttered in awe and fear.

"Hello Light," She smiled, though it was not friendly.

There was a strange silence before Light spoke again, "What brings you here?"

"Just passing by…" She said crossing over to Light as she pulled out a gun.

Light gulped backing away slowly, "Um… did you want something?"

Linder shrugged, "Not particularly," She cocked her gun, "just your blood to be shed like Nears…"

**Wow I switched settings alot ..**

**well new chapter YAY! tho im scared cuz some chick who talks a lot read some of the yaoi moments I wrote over my shoulder. (goodie =_=)**

**Oh well. Srry for the delay. Im not even gonna make any excuses. its life... yeah... **

**Im working on 19 fanfictions right now O.O whoa... most arent on here some are but most aren't :3 wow i have no life... I should work on those XD. kk Imma do that. **

**hope you enjoy.**

**R&R **

**PLEASE!**


	32. Chapter 32

32

_Bang. _A shot rang out followed by a scream from Light.

L reached under the welcome mat panicked and frowned to find nothing under it. He stood up only to be pushed back down by Mello, who stood on top of L's back and peered into the mail box that was on the door. He smiled, reached inside and pulled out a key, "gotcha…!" L grunted underneath the blonde, feeling somewhat annoyed and relieved. "Oh sorry L!" Mello said jumping off of the detective and helping him up. "I didn't see you…." L wanted to glare at him but decided to forget it and took the key from Mello.

Matt walk up and threw his arms around him, handing him a note book, "thanks Mels," he said smiling.

Mello patted his head then hit the pockets in his vest and his pants, "Damn I don't have any chocolate—" _Bang._ Everyone, except L, who was jamming the key in the lock, froze. Light screamed on the other side of the door making L quickly unlock the door and throw it open.

Light was standing with the gun pointed at Linder, his hands trembled violently. His eyes were wide staring in pure horror. He had a small wound on his right shoulder where the bullet just grazed his skin. He shook violently at the sight of Linder.

Light received a massive shock from the gun shot. His vision went white and all he could think of was surviving. The moment his vision returned, Linder was in a pool of blood with a bullet wound in her stomach. Light noticed her then the gun in his hands and couldn't think after that.

_I… I killed her…_

Kira chuckled in the back of his mind,_ "Avery messy job if I must say but a good job none the less. Well done Light!"_

"Shut up…. " Light whispered as L crossed over to Light and held the youths face in his hands. Light closed his eyes and leaned into L's touch.

"Light…" L studied Light then hugged him tightly, "Thank goodness."

Mello walked in the room with Matt behind him. He shook his head at Linder's body. "Told her to stay away…" He sighed.

Matt studied the scene then looked at his watch, "Geez it was a minute early…." Mello looked at him curiously while Light and L simply hugged with simple relief on their faces.

"_Light…"_ Light shivered hearing the sinister voice smile. It felt like he was directly behind him, breathing down his neck, pressing against his backside. _"Light he's right there…. Our biggest obstacle… you've got the gun…" _Light felt Kira run his hands down his sides then went to his stomach, making Light shiver. _"Shoot him Light… Shoot him and stay with me forever…" _Kira place one hand on Lights forearm and the other on his hands. _"Do it…" _

Light gulped and tossed the gun aside and mumbles, "I'm not listening to you anymore…" Light pulled L closer without receiving any curious glances from the detective. L seemed to pick up on Kira's presence which only made the detective even more protective over Light.

Matt sighed, "What's everyone getting so emotional for?"

L frowned and looked at Matt, "I almost lost Light…"

Matt shook his head, "You don't think I'm stupid do you? I wasn't gonna let Light die…" Everyone gave the gamer curious looks making him sigh, "Look, don't you think that whole think was pretty sweet. I mean Light getting only a tiny scratch and Linder getting shot like that. You think that was all coincidence?"

L looked at Matt curiously, "What are you saying Matt?"

Matt sighed and looked at L, "I wrote it all down…." L wasn't sure how to respond to that. He was glad that Light was ok, but the Death Note was still a terrible weapon.

"You… what…?" Mello was in shock. Matt was the last person he thought would do something like this.

Matt sighed and crossed to Mello, grabbing the notebook he gave him before entering the house. He opened up the notebook to the page he wrote down Linder's death. "It's all here in black and white."

"That makes you the rightful owner of that notebook," The familiar voice of a shinigami chuckled, not noticing it was his notebook Matt held.

"Woot…" Matt muttered unenthusiastically. "Fine by me… I'm just gonna destroy it anyway…"

"Matt…" Mello warned feeling very skeptical of the death god. He held Matt close to his chest not about to release him for a second.

Ryuk shrugged, "Fine by me I'll just write your name in my Death Note."

Matt hid a smirk, "Fine by me… Mello let's get this over with…"

Mello nodded looking at Light and L, "We have to destroy the notebooks… That's the only way to stop all this…"

L nodded, "I understand… Do you have them?"

Mello whipped out the second notebook in his vest. "All we need's a fire…"

"Which I have," Matt said holding up his lighter.

L nodded then looked at Light. "We have to do this Light…. Right now… I want Kira gone for good… "

Light looked at L weakly, "I… I just want this to be over… I want to be with you and not have to worry about this ever again…" He gave L a half smile, "Let's do it…"

L ran his fingers through Light's hair as Ryuk hovered over them, cackling evilly. "You're all going to die… and where you're going there's no such thing as happy endings…"

"I thought the only one dying was Ryuk…." Matt mumbled, flicking his lighter open and close staring at the notebook.

Ryuk turned looking somewhat amused, "And how would I die? Ya' gonna make me fall in love with ya'?" Ryuk cackled loudly while Matt made his way into the kitchen. Mello followed out of his protective instincts and Ryuk followed out of sheer amusement.

"Light… you wanna see that?" L was worried about Lights reaction to all the things that were happening and thought this would only make things worse.

"…Yeah I do actually…" Light made his way to the kitchen with L following behind him. He was about to do it. Kira was going to die. He would be with L forever and not have to worry about this ever again…

"_Light you're really gonna let them kill me?"_ Kira frowned not wanting to die.

"Yep… and I have no regrets about it…" Light watched Matt flip his lighter open over the sink and smiled. "It's finally over…."

Matt paid Light no attention and looked at Ryuk. " The law of the shinigami state they gain life from killing people with Death Notes. A shinigami is granted one Death Notes but some are lucky enough to gain a second notebook if they sneak it past the king of the shinigami. If a shinigami fails to write names then they get no life meaning they would die either when the life points they wrote down expired or their notebook were destroyed, correct?"

Ryuk was speechless but nodded, "Th-that's correct… but what does that have to do with anythi—"

"—then goodbye death god!" Matt yelled igniting the leather notebook watching the orange flames slowly turn blue and devour it. Matt threw it in the sink and watched it burn emotionlessly.

Ryuk reach into his hoister then gasped, "That was…!" His eyes went wide when he looked at the sink. "You little shit!" Ryuk began to lunge for the sink but noticed it was too late. His body slowly started turning to the dusty sand that was the end to all Shinigami. He sighed then just chuckled, "Looks like ya got me… I don't know how but you did… oh well… It's been fun." Ryuk cackled into the wind before turning into a pillar of sand.

Everyone stared at the hill where the once amusing Ryuk stood. "He… He's dead…" Light muttered in shock.

"_No! Ryuk!"_ Kira called uselessly out to his friend then paused. "_Wait, if Ryuk's gone that means there's no one to hold me back!"_

Light rolled his eyes, "You're disgusting…"

Mello patted Matt on the back, "Well done! That was amazing Mattie! How'd you know all that stuff?" Matt smiled and opened his mouth to speak but fell back, limply, passing out. "MATTIE!" Mello yelled, catching Matt where he stood, dropping the other notebook beside him.

Light's vision suddenly changed to red as he stared to the menacing notebook. "_No one's getting rid of me!"_ Light was now forced back out of control as Kira laughed maniacally where he stood then dashed towards the notebook, "_IT'S MINE!" _However, L was too fast for him.

L lunged for the notebook instinctively tossing it on top of the other Death Note so it would catch fire. Light panicked and jumped on L's back, diving into the sink. _"IT'S MINE!"_ Light clawed his way to the sink desperately reaching for the notebook. He stuck his hands into the flames without a second glance then screamed at the top of his lungs. His hands stung but Kira's madness told him to keep holding the notebook.

"Light!" L shouted running to Light. "Let it go Light!"

Light shook his head violently, "_No! It's mine! It's mine! You can't have it!"_

L sighed and started prying the notebook from Light's hands crying out in pain. "LET IT GO LIGHT NOW!" Light kept a firm grasp of the notebook till L landed a harsh kick to the youth's stomach. Light staggered backwards, releasing the notebook and falling on his back.

L immediately threw the notebook in the sink disregarding the pain his hands were feeling. He dove for Light, smoothing back his hair, "Light? Are you okay? Light!"

Light coughed for a second then smiled slightly, "L…. I'm sorry…"

"Shhh…. It's fine…" L gently pressed his lips against the younger males. Light kissed back with as much strength he could muster before succumbing to darkness aswell.

**TBC**

**OMG ONE MORE CHAPTER LEFT!**

**srry for the long wait! im a bad writer! I shouldnt keep people waiting... srry... but did u enjoy? I kinda rushd so it might not be that good but still R&R! thank you! hope u enjoyed.**


	33. Chapter 33

33

"What… happened…?" Deridovely stared over the portal to the human world in shock. His bandages seemed to unravel slightly, showing off his grotesque features.

Gukku shook his skull-like, animalistic head, "Ryuk's been killed…"

"It's his own fault," Sidoh said, curling up in a ball with his notebook,hissing. "He shouldn't have gone to the human world in the first place…"

"He's right!"Kinddara growled. "He should've stayed here so we wouldn't be three shinigami down!" She had little tolerance of Ryuk and thought he should be kill for leaving their relm.

The Death Gods crowded around the portal. Nu, Armonia Austin Beyondormason, Daril Ghiroza, Zellogi, Gukku, Sidoh, Midora, Deridovely, Calikarcha, and Kinddara Guivelostain all sat around the portal to the human world bickering amongst themselves. They'd wanted to see the fated end of Light Yagami, which obviously didn't happen.

"So what now?" Gukku asked. He was fumbling with his games, wondering if he should set up for a game like usual or not.

"I say we kill Light Yagami," Armonia said reclining back in his chair. "Better yet, kill the whole lot of em." He smirked, cackling at his dark comment.

"Yeah!" Kinddara agreed, "They're the reason numbers four, six, and nine are dead!"

"That's funny considering u hated them, Kinddara…" Nuu muttered for the first time making Kinddara glare. "The reasons Gelus, Rem and Ryuk died were all because of empathy… not the humans…" Nu blinked her many eyes that seemed to see almost everything. "Surely you're smart enough to realize that. Don't let your anger talk for you…"

Kinddara growled, stopping herself from hitting her comrade, "Are you calling me dumb Thirteen?"

"Surely you can understand context, _'Twelve'_?"

Before she could retaliate Armonia slapped his golden hands over Kinddara's mouth. "Please go on… what do you mean by 'empathy', Nu?" he listened to his superior, "Ryuk didn't care about the humans…"

Nu nodded in a way that made her, gelatin-like body wobble in the motion, "You see, Gelus cared for Misa enough to die for her. Rem also cared for Misa, but stupidly fell into Light's clutches… Had she not cared for Misa or killed Light sooner, than she would probably be alive today. It wasn't Ryuk's love for Light… more specifically it was Ryuk's love for the human world… He loved it more than he loved his true home… but he over stayed his welcome and that is why Ryuk died."

"Hmmph!" Kinddara elbowed Armonia in the stomach, "so you don't want us to kill them do u?"

She replied emotionlessly, "…I think killing them is stupid but I think you should talk to the king before making a decision like that…"

"The king?! Do you know how hard it is to talk to the king?!"

Nuu shrugged off the comment, "To the lowest ranking Shinigami here maybe…but it's easier for the higher level shinigami." Nuu was confident. She knew where to speak. She was the top ranking Shinigami, where as Kinddara was the lowest. It was almost like a threat so Kinddara wouldn't run her mouth around her so much. She turned and slowly started making her way to the King of Death's palace. It was a grotesque place made of sand and bones.

Nuu just passed by going about on her usual way looking unenthusiastic. She decided to have get the conversation over with. She would have to ask sooner or later. She stood below a large stair case that protruded into darkness."My lord…" Nuu scanned the palace which wasn't very elaborate. Shinigami had little time for extravagant things except for Armonia, who enjoyed decorative pieces, made of gold. Partially from greed another for vanity since he looked like one of the pieces he collected. "Everyone is asking about the Ryuks mortal… What should I tell them? They want to know if we should kill him or not."

A loud cackle echoed from the dark as the king replied in a language that sounded like the sizzle of hot flames. The blob just listened quietly, like she was told before bowing lowly. "I think he is an interesting specimen of human to say the least… his friends were only trying to help as well… I don't know… it should be your decision…"

The king replied in an indecipherable language that only Nu truly understood the depth of this incomprehensible being. She was in shock as the old man had said he was putting the decision in her hands.

"B-but sir, I cannot make such r—" She was cut off by the king, saying he was placing the decision in her hands because she was the highest ranking aside from him. It was also for the king's personal interest. He wanted to see what kind of leader Nu would be. He sent her off in a rush.

Nu was perplexed as she walked back to the globe. She ignored all the questions her fellow shinigami asked like "what did he say" or "how come no one else gets to see him". She silently stared at the humans trying to make her choice. She wasn't the most sympathetic person; however, Nu was now the most empathetic of all the shinigami.

_If I say no, will I end up dying like them one day…? Or if I say kill them will I be reaping a beneficial thing. Perhaps we could watch this human… his persona is very interesting indeed! I don't think his friends should die… yet at least but what of him…?_

She thought long and hard about this. All the other Shinigami had moved on to different activities. They got bored quickly of Nu's pause. The only one paying attention was Arimonia. "He told you to decide didn't he? "

Nu slowly nodded, "… I don't know what I should do…"

Arimonia patted the top of her head, "Do whatever you freakin' want, kid! That's why we have this job…" Nu was happy with Arimonia's reassurance. "…but you know… I'd love to see 'em all suffer… I mean that's what owning a death note means!"

That was true… Nu pushed it from her mind and nodded, firmly saying, "They aren't going to die yet… but when they do… We'll have the notebook owners and we can torture their souls as long as we want for all eternity…"

Arimonia chuckled at the ideas he was forming, "Sounds like a plan…"

* * *

The boys woke up in the small living room, rubbing their heads. Matt rubbed his goggled eyes and yawned, "some nap, eh Mels?"

The blonde smiled and hugged the red head, "some ride. How the hell did we end up here?"

L replied with a blunt answer, "Well possibly some means of transportation." He stretched, cracking his bones in satisfactory. "We probably just stayed up too late. You two should get home."

"Yeah…" Mello replied picking up the read head with sleep still in his eyes. "We'll see yah later you guys…" They left quickly, not noticing anything.

L rolled his eyes at their naivety as he picked up Light and laid him on the sofa. He was still asleep. L, then, made his way to the corner, where a large blood stain caked the wooden floor. He didn't know how it got there, but he knew blood stains didn't just appear out of nowhere.

He looked around the house and got a wash cloth to clean the stain. He thought Light's injury may have caused it, but there's no way it bled that much. He sighed muttering how he'd probably never know.

He saved the cloth for later when he got back home then proceeded to the kitchen to make some tea. It was around four in the morning. It felt like he'd been asleep for too long. He finished off the tea, pouring two cups, adding sugar to both. He sipped the syrupy liquid greedily.

"Mmm… L..?" Light muttered, before falling off the couch with a thud. "Ahh… that hurt…"

"Are you alright?" L said, putting the cups on the coffee table and helping the younger male to his feet.

"Yeah…" He said rubbing his head. "You made tea?" Light asked taking a cup ad sitting on the couch.

"I can manage that much, Light," the detective replied, sitting by him.

Light gagged on the tea, "you can die with all the sugar in your diet…" He set the tea back on the table, turning up his nose.

He shrugged, "It's actually good for you if you're able to think like me…" He wrapped his arm around Light's shoulder. "Though, I am starting to miss my sweets terribly… I want to get home as soon as possible."

"Home…" Light mumbled half heartedly. "You're leaving already? It feels like you just got here…"

"You're coming with me, right? You don't have to, but…."

"But…?"

"… But I would like it…" The raven-haired detective pulled Light into his arms. "It would make me happy if you joined me…"

Light smiled and hugged his friend, "Alright. It'll be great! We'll be the greatest detectives the worlds ever seen!"

L smiled faintly, kissing the top of Light's head. He liked the bond he had formed with this youth. It seems almost surreal… Then the more he thought about it the more he realized he couldn't remember a lot of how they met.

_I was doing a case… then suspected Light and met him at school… when he was cleared he joined the case and helped me… To clear my suspicions he handcuffed himself to me and…_ that was all L could come up with. He frowned at himself for either having a poor memory or being unobservant, both were uncharacteristic.

"Hey, L?" Light asked.

"When we get to your house you're not going to force me to eat cake with you or have all those silly kinds of tea parties, are you?" The boy seemed worried.

L thought for a moment, "That actually isn't a bad idea… and how exactly would I 'force' you, hmm?"

Light shook his head, "It's not an idea! I said I DON'T want that! Don't start tying me up or doing creepy stuff like that!"

"I believe you are only digging your own grave, seeing as how you're the one giving me ideas," L replied, pressing his lips against Lights. He couldn't escape the warm, comforting feeling he got when he touched the younger man. It just seemed to fit into place. He was happy and that's all he cared for; that and Light's happiness of course.

Light's cheeks had a pink hue to them as he looked up at the older male, "I'll be afraid to sleep at night because of you!"

L ruffled his hair, "I'd be even more afraid to sleep alone. At least we can protect each other."

"Easy to say when you don't sleep!"

L let out a small, awkward laugh, "I love you…"

"I… love you too…" Light smiled, breathing in the detectives scent for a moment, savoring his warmth. "… I don't think Watari's going to approve of us sleeping in the same room though. He's pretty old fashioned."

L kissed the boys lips again, "If it comes down to it I'll buy a ring."

Light's cheeks burned with a deep red, "A-and what if I say 'no'?"

"Then I'll simply turn off the cameras," He replied before pulling Light into another wave of kisses.

**The End.**

**XD I know... super short and super long hiatus like wait but its finished! Hopefully now I can focus on "A Twisted Romance". But I hope you enjoyed! Thank all of you for reading and reviewing and all of your support :) I really thank you! **

**If you do happen to like Lx Light and vampire AU fics you might like "A Twisted Romance so check that out if you want!**

** thank you all really! 333**


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